Get Real.

Just to make this understood, I am not an intellect, I am not a Aristotle or Socrates, I am not a genius of any kind.  I am, however, a thinker.  I have my own philosophy.  I am analytical.  I wonder, I ponder, I seek and I find.  I’m curious, eager, and hungry to learn.  I am a writer of my own thoughts, I am a writer of my own steps.  I crave understanding, of logic and reality, of truth and irony, of good and bad, of all reasons why this or that… 

I put things together in my mind a certain way.  I pull them out and use words to make them tangible.  I write things that rhyme and things that don’t.  Poetic, yes, but other times just un-cut, and raw.  I am a woman who smiles and cries.  Who hurts like you and who feels joy and euphoria too.  I fall down, I get back up.  I do things wrong and do things right.  I learn by trial and error, I learn by me.  I am aware of my soul and what it likes, exactly.  I’m aware of my past, of where I am right this very minute, and aware of what I may face tomorrow.  I take ownership of things that are rightfully mine and I’m proud to represent myself. 

I do not point fingers.  I don’t judge others from an outside view. fortunately and unfortunately for some, after personal character is revealed, I form my own opinions.  I don’t care if others judge me.  In my life I have already learned many things, like the truth, it will set you free.  The truth, needs no defense.  Beauty is all around us.  This universe is a miracle.  We meet angels everyday.  There are no ordinary moments.  Everyone needs to be hugged.  There is no time like now.  There is more power in one soul, than in a hundred empty shallow people.  People who are fake don’t fool anyone but maybe themselves.  My intuition is usually always right.  Your real friends are truly revealed when you are in the most need of a friend.  Don’t give just to receive.  Karma is real and it is patient, it watches, it waits, it will find you.  Positive energy takes less strength than negative energy.  Resentments are only poison for your own soul.  People who truly forgive are few and far between, but when found, are owners of a priceless virtue.  Most people talk the talk but don’t walk the walk.  Most people like the sound of their own voice better than anyone elses.  It is obvious when someone is envious of what another has because jealousy is a crazy thing that makes people act a fool.  It seems we always want things we can’t have.  I stay away from those who celebrate in the suffering of others.  I believe that if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.  I believe that people don’t get punished for their anger, they are punished by it.  I believe that those who judge and point fingers, are really referencing themselves.  When you are OK with who you are, you don’t find yourself talking bad about others.  I try not to speak without making sure it is true, it is kind, or it is necessary.  Other’s respect you only when you honestly respect yourself.  You are the most important person in your life, treat yourself that way!  Don’t try and change others.  Think of how hard it really is to change you, what makes you think you are powerful enough to change someone else?  Actions speak louder than words.  People underestimate the value and responsibility of what it takes to be a real friend.  I think that people use the word ‘love’ too loosely.   I love what I do, and I do what I love.  If you do something bad, and no one finds out, you will always know yourself, and have to live with that the rest of your life.  If I don’t agree with others, I don’t say I do!  I don’t lose sleep over things or people who truly don’t matter because I refuse to let anyone get a minute of my time or space in my head that don’t deserve to be there. 

I have many things that I own in my life, but nothing that owns me.  Through all of the things I have written over the years, looking back at them, page after page, book after book, poem after poem, I see a collective pattern of the search for meaning, in my life cause it’s the most important one, for me.  Earlier today, I wrote about time.  I have wasted a lot of time, yet, I have a lot of time very well spent.  As I sit here now, and write on this blog for all to see, who ever that is, I do not make claims of knowing everything.  I just know what I know.  I like to write about the things I think about, yes I’m analytical.  I make bold statements of my own opinions and thoughts, for those who read, keep that in mind.  ultimately, I enjoy sharing my stories.  I’m proud of who I am.  I look forward to who I will become. 

It took some time, some real hard time, on the inside of a prison, for me to get real with myself.  But when that process started to happen, I haven’t looked back once.  I believe, that those who fall and get back up, are wiser than those who never fall at all.  (And much less boring) :0  I’ve never been one to play it safe.  I’m a risk taker, fearless some say, and I grab life by the pants cause I don’t want to miss any of it!  I don’t ever sacrifice who I am for the sake of another.  I own my identity everyday.  This is what it sounds like when I get real with myself, the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty, the stupid, the wise, the bold, fierce, un-cut and raw words that I have to say. 

~J

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