Fallen from Grace

Like the road less travelled, it’s the one I chose

The one others feared, the troubled path, as everyone knows.

And one that road, I saw many things,

I saw broken angels with blood on their wings…

Now at first I thought and I knew this was wrong,

Yet somehow, someway, I was unfaithful to my own song.

‘Cause deep in my spirit, inside the temple of my heart,

I know it is wrong, to break your own wisdom’s apart…

So little ol me pushed forward on this path,

Enduring all the afflictions of my self chosen wrath.

Tired, weak, dirt & tear stricken face,

It was then I did realize that I had fallen from grace.

And in this moment, I said to myself

Girl get off this road, and ask for some help…

I never could ask for help ’cause of pride,

but pride was fake, in me, just a place to hide…

So I stood up tall and ran till I saw blue,

In the heaven above… is where I first saw you.

At first I couldn’t accept, I didn’t quite understand…

But there you were, holding out your hand.

I fell to your feet, telling of all that I’ve done…

I’ve lied, I’ve stole, I’ve used & I’ve run!

From them, from you, from all of me,

To now, you see, I’m begging to be free.

Yes I chose a destructive path, with no clue of its aftermath.

I did what I thought to make it through,

Only to fall here, in front of you.

With dirt, and guilt, and shame on my hands,

Tell me my savior, what are your demands?

I hate myself, I’ve fallen from grace,

How do I fix my life of mistakes?

…Hush now hush, humbled baby girl…

Can’t you see through truth, you’re changing your world…

You’ve made it this far, spirit fallen from grace,

You walked that road, and you own your mistakes.

Now you look to see the sky is blue,

your life now awaits…

It’s time to be you.

~ Jen

                                                                          

I wrote this piece on 4/13/2012, inside a women’s prison just outside of St. Louis.  I can still remember what I was feeling and all the changes I was going through when I wrote this in April.  So many things went through my mind and soul inside that prison.  I had so much time to think, and write, and that I did… Lots of thinking and writing…

So much in my life has changed since I wrote this piece.  My life has circled back around to where I once was before all my sabotage in 2010 & 2011, and I’ve even grown further since then.  I am honestly grateful for the things I have gone through because I have been given the chance to start over, practice forgiveness within myself & with others, and use my experiences to be more aware, more wise, and grateful for the life that I have been given.  See, it’s all about choice.  I have the choice to choose…

As I write this, it’s not at all to give the impression or send the message that I have it all figured out.  I don’t and as I continue to live, I’ll always be trying to figure things out.  What I am saying, is that I made it through a real tough time, and I came out on the other side more wise than I was before.  And for that, I am very grateful.  Thanks for reading 🙂

~ Jen

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2 responses to “Fallen from Grace

  1. As I read this poetic journey of redemption, and the accompanying back-story, the following came to mind. If I may share Jen:

    Burnished not banished, you revealed your True Self. When we fell low and deep – opportunities spring forth to pull us high – in humility and wisdom.

    This you have accomplished Jen. I am humbled in your presence and fortunate to ‘meet’ you in Blogsville.

    All good wishes with your continuing journey,
    Eric

    • Wow. Thank you so much! I am happy to have crossed paths with you as well. I love meeting a talented writer.. and I am humbled and honored to share my stories. Our paths in life are all so different, yet, our spirits have so much in common. I love these spiritual connections in the world! It’s a new high for my soul that I completely enjoy! Visit me on Tryst anytime! I will be reading more of you.. ~Jen

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