Miss Perfect

“OH, he is gonna change for me, just watch..

So, I’m driving down the street the other day and I hear a woman on the radio complaining about her man.

image  “…He would be the perfect man if he would just change everything about him!!”

blah blah … “and I told him that he was lucky to have me so he better change because I’m not stickin around if he doesn’t!!..” Of course the ranting and raving of this chick on the radio continued for some time.  I listened to the whole thing, driving down the road, with this frown/smirk on my face thinking… “And who the fuck does this chick think she is!!!?”

I must express my opinion here, because that’s what I get to do on Think. Speak. Tryst., be opinionated, it is simple; why in the world are people in relationships with people that they are trying to change!?!?!?!?!  Isn’t the whole point of a relationship the act and commitment of two people being together, who love, who legitimately enjoy, and/or who want to be with the other person just as they are?  When did the role of a person in a relationship take on the active duty of “changing” the other?  Either their man, or the women.  But I need to point out that most men, I’m sure like 99% of them, (just a stab in the dark percentage, but I’m confident it’s quite accurate) don’t ever try to change the women.  If they don’t like the women they have, they just move on and get a new one.  A man doesn’t take on the challenge of trying to shape and mold his woman into what his idea of the perfect woman is.  It’s a set up for utter and complete failure.  A tremendous amount of work!  A tireless project that will most likely leave the man beat up, scarred, and emotionally bruised, this act of trying to change a woman.  (Sheeesh..)  Now women on the other hand, oh girls, seem to always be tryin’ to change their man! (Shaking my freaking head!!) Such a waste of perfectly good energy.

   The Roles We Play…

Women ~ I truly believe that women are closet power players!  Women hold so much more power than they either give themselves credit for, or are given the credit for.  We can be wild and tame, we can be wise, intelligent, or eager to learn.  We can be dark, sexy and mysterious.  We can be so many things, and the role that plays in our society is… men love it!  Men love us! Men need women, they want and desire women.  Men are greedy with women, they can’t settle with just one, they want to try all the flavors… but of course, with all of these different determining factors, my point and purpose is to express how amazingly different all of our “Flavors” are as women, and how powerful, and influential, we really are!  Our role as women in society can not be pin-pointed down to just one thing.  We have many roles, many places, and many flavors that, in our growing up process, we find and discover the ones that fits us best. 

As for the Men ~ Men, in my opinion are much more simple.  They are up front, blunt and don’t play games.  Really they don’t do much of anything that involves lot’s of work when it comes to building interpersonal, intrapersonal and internal relationships.  Men are just, well, satisfied with who they are, and they know what they want, and that’s usually what they go for. Pretty easy.

  …”I asked you to do one simple thing…”

The Relationship ~ Relationships, are a very in-depth & very detailed subject, with millions of determining factors.  Not really trying to get too far into this today, my only motivation was this girl on the radio bitching up a storm about her man, I listened and honestly, I felt bad for the guy!  I wanted to call him up and tell him to ‘get the hell on…’ but obviously I couldn’t.  And I’m thinkin, who does this chick think she is, Miss Perfect!?!?! Really? Does she really think that about herself?  Come on girl… No one is perfect, no-no girl, not even you, so stop baggin’ on your poor man! Most of the time, when a person is trying to change something about another person, it’s ironically a quality that they recognize within themselves, and they don’t particularly like it.  They see it in their significant other, and boom!  Time to make some changes hun!  When really, maybe the finger needs to be turned around and the changes made within the one who is trying to hold all the cards.  It made me think of my man, of my marriage.  No matter what anyone says, no one really knows what goes on between two people, except those two people! I married my husband because I love who he is.  I’ll repeat myself, I LOVE WHO HE IS!! JUST AS HE IS!! I would never try do shape and mold him, too much work that would be anyway, come on, I’m a realist!! My opinion and advice here, “if ya tryin’ to change ya man, quit right now! Peacefully split ways and chill ’till you meet a guy who you love…just as he is!”

~ Jen

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