Hiding behind the Smile 🙂
There is a lot that can be hidden behind a smile. We see people smiling everyday, smiles are all around us. But thinking into that smile… What is it hiding really, what is it that we don’t want people to see so we cover up our ‘shit’ with a smile on our face?
I know that when I’m sad, I mostly keep it inside. I’m not one of those kinds of people who needs the whole world to know why I’m sad so they can shower me with comfort &/or attention. I hate that shit. If I’m sad, I keep it to myself. (Well, I share things with my husband, but that’s it..) What else do people hide behind the safety of a smile? Depression? Worry? Hurt or betrayal? Fear? Loneliness? Anxiety? (Also, some of these things we may hide behind a frown, but that’s not really hiding… A frown is a dead give away that something is up, or it’s a sign that someone is completely pissed off!) My thought today is that, even though we see a person smiling, that smile is probably masking up some things that are really going on. I say this because I caught myself smiling last night, at a particular person, but in my mind I was far from a happy smiling woman. That smile last night was hiding hurt, hiding some anger and even a bit of some unhealthy bitterness. At least I can be honest and admit to these things. Yea, my smile is a cover up a lot of the time. Yea, I have a lot of things that I want to get off my chest but I haven’t found the right time or place… yet… so I just keep smiling. And, it helps to alleviate quite a bit of heavy emotion, just wearing a smile, but….
…wearing the fake smile gets kind of exhausting! I know that I’m not the only one who has some heavy things on her heart… I’m no better or worse than anyone else! What I’m owning up to here is this: Hiding behind a smile doesn’t make the heavy hard stuff go away. It’s a temporary fix, a push of the pause button, a get out of facing your heavy stuff free card, or a call in sick day from feeling your emotions.
How many of us hide behind a fake smile everyday?
~ Jen 10/24/2012
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