The Verbal Cleanse

  The Verbal Cleanse

This month… I’ve caught a bad case of the ‘WB’, writers block..  For some reason, I have not been able to organize my thoughts and get them out of my head!  This is frustrating beyond explanation!  It’s not like I have no material.  My mind is full of things to say, things that are going on and things that I’m doing or have done… but like so many writers experience from time to time, I have hit the wall, the writer’s block wall, and I haven’t been able to write.

In my past, the moments in which I cannot write have generally been a red flag, a warning sign that things in my life are not going well… or I’m under a butt load of stress… or I’m so overwhelmed with things that I am beaten by fatigue and don’t have the energy, drive and/or desire to write.  (I should probably exclude desire from that list because I always have the desire to write…)  That is what is the most frustrating thing about having the ‘WB’, writers block, the desire is there but the words are not flowing.  It seems that when ever I really need to write, I mean I really need to un-load some things and get things out of my mind, that those are the times in which the ‘WB’ rears its ugly head!  It’s a real pain and problem for this expressive and articulately free woman!  I need a verbal cleanse!  I am in blog writing withdrawal!  I need to detoxify my mind from the block!

   Detox

So, I’m thinking, when people are in need of some detoxification, there are all kinds of things they can do to get that body cleanse.  There is diet and exercise, there are drinks and shakes and teas to make, there are vitamins and even fasting is a form of physical detox/cleansing.  A detox/cleanse kind of wipes out toxins and makes us feel a sense of new freshness, cleanliness and clarity and healthy and vibrant!  Yes!  This is exactly what my mind needs!  This whole idea of a verbal cleanse is new to me, something I just put together in my mind and I think the best way to get what I’m needing, which is to get my words flowing and rid myself of the toxic ‘WB’, would be to free write.  It’s been a long-long time since I’ve done a free write!  I was first introduced to this method of creative writing way back in high school, in my freshman english class.  I remember that I really enjoyed free writing because it has no rules, no boundaries.  Free writing cannot be right or wrong, there can be a topic or a theme, or no direction at all!  Free writing can be smooth or it can be verbal chaos that has run-on sentences and bad punctuation.  Free writing is pretty much a writing free-for-all that is supposed to get creativity flowing by exercising the mind by allowing it to just write about anything that comes to mind.  Don’t think, just write… and see if it loosens up my mind and gets my fingers typing away…

  The Free Write

I can’t really tell myself what my sudden obsession with the color purple is.. I know since I was a little girl I’ve always loved the color purple but through the years I lost my luster for it.. funny how now I can’t get enough of it!  I have gone shopping and bought clothes in all shades of purple.. I was at Express the other day and they had so much great stuff, all in purple and there are these pin-stripe dress pants that I must have for work in a dark plum purple! Purple is the color of royalty.  I remember hearing that once in school and it has stuck with me all my life.  Isn’t it crazy how you can hear something, only once, but remember it forever? and then somethings that you need to remember or want to remember, you seem to forget so easily, even if you’ve been told them a thousand times? this also reminds me of how cool it is that, in life, your path can cross with someone, only once, and what ever the situation, that person makes a difference, has an impact on your life and even though you only met them one time, you will never forget them. I have had a few experiences like this in my life. The most important one that comes to my mind and I’ll only explain this in-a-nut-shell, was this woman I met down town, my where-a-bouts and reasons for being there are not important, but this woman and I had a chance to talk for a few minutes and she asked me if I had ever witnessed a miracle. I remember being taken back because I had never been asked that question before, I mean, how often does that question even come up? anyway, I told her that I had never witnessed a miracle and that I, at the time, struggled with any belief in a certain faith.  This was about three years ago, during a time when I was spiritually disconnected and having a very hard time with things.. I was very lost. Somehow, someway, I end up meeting this woman who was asking me about faith and what I believe in and she said that this world is very spiritual and that when I witness a miracle, she believed that in my life this would in fact happen, then I would know what faith to believe in. She told me to say prayers and to be aware of all the elements around me and when the moment comes that I get to witness a miracle, I will know.. and I will find my faith. this has stuck with me ever since that day, those minutes when I spoke with this certain stranger, who, had no idea at the time, that she was making an imprint in my mind, on my life, that I will carry with me forever and always.  since then, since this encounter over three years ago, I have witnessed a miracle.  Just one, but it was a miracle indeed, something that happened and I cannot explain it. I witnessed a miracle. I have since found faith and spirituality.  And when I tell the story of this woman I met, or even when I think of it to my self, I can still see her face, I can hear her voice.. I do not know her name, so I just call her Angel. The angel that taught me about miracles. I can’t imagine ever forgetting this angel that came to me that day… and so, to end this thought and free write about whatever has flowed out of my mind, I will remember to watch and observe my life and surroundings always because you never know when you are going to cross paths with someone or see something or help another, or witness a miracle or have something happen in your life that even in just one moment or a single encounter, you will remember forever…

  …and that’s the cool thing about a free write, you have no plans, no outlines or no direction.  You just write.  The free write I did above was done in about five minutes and I just started typing and I did not stop the entire time.  I had no clue what I was going to write about or where it was going to go.. and look what I came up with! And I’ll be perfectly honest here, this is no lie, no bullshit.. now I can’t stop writing! I think my verbal cleanse worked and the free write.. my ‘WB’ feels gone, my block is gone… and I am a creative writing genius today!  I will remember this verbal cleansing exercise next time I get the block because, as all writers know.. sometimes we just can’t write. It looks as though this cleanse worked so well that now, I can’t seem to stop writing and publish this post… 🙂

~ Jen

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