Mirror Box

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Mirror Box

 

Mirrors are like boxes

Holding the spirit you try to hide

If anyone could see

You hide your lack of pride

 

I am a shadow amongst the city

I am a shame to my own name

I hide so many parts of me

I hate being a part of this game

 

You don’t look at your own reflection

You won’t look yourself in the eye

You hate the woman standing there

Hatred so thick you don’t even cry

 

You don’t want to be

Anything you represent

You curse and spit at who you see

In the past and present

 

You run from your past

but the mirrors just follow

Shattering at your feet

Reminder of a soul that’s hollow

 

Mirrors are like boxes

That tell where you are going

If you hate your mirrors reflection

It’s your reflection’s darkness showing…

 

~~ J. Lefever ~~

(03/12/12)

 

Another piece on Addiction and what it was like for me. It’s truly amazing, once I faced the addiction and now live clean & sober, this person I used to write about, isn’t me at all… It’s good to see, to remember what Heroin did to me… I will never go back to that, I never want to NOT be me.

 

 

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9 responses to “Mirror Box

    • Thank you much D. Your words mean a lot to me. This one took some bravery to share. I am quite strong, and it’s very humbling to show a time when I was so incredibly weak and had so much hatred for my own self. Things are very different for me now.. thank goodness! ❤ Jen

    • Why thank you.. so so so much. It takes some bravery, I will say, to publish this stuff on Tryst because it really displays a time when I was really struggling bad. I like to talk about it though because if anyone out there finds Tryst and see’s that they are not alone, it may help just one person, and that is reason enough for me! I was so alone, scared, terrified to ask for help, until it was too late, and I was in legal trouble, and everything was just a mess! It all could have been avoided if I let my pride go and humbled myself enough to get some help and let my voice be heard. Addiction doesn’t descriminate. It happened to so many. Same with depression, isolation, lonliness… etc. We are all ‘recovering’ from something, trauma, divorce, death, a break-up, illness… something. And it’s important to share our life stories, it may very well help another.

      I am so grateful to have found you and your wonderful blog! You have really inspired my writing so much, you don’t know how winderful that is for me! So healing for me, and I find so much peace and zen when I write! And Miss Hasty.. is a wonderful woman! She and I write, e-mail, create poems… She is such a light in my life, I am… so thankful for her… I have fun connecting and writing with her… I relate to her… I think she is kind, smart, beautiful, inside and out… She is a wonderful friend… The kind of friend that brings out good in others… The kind of person who celebrates in others joy’s and kinders them with kindness in their struggles… She has done this with me, so, yes… I am (smiling) loving her in my life. I hope she enjoy’s me too, and you, I hope I bring something good, possibly some wonderful, to your lives and to any or all of the great people in my Tryst family! You all help me through my writing and supporting the things I say in regards to addiction recovery and the death of my brother. I sincerely love my Tryst family! So appreciative of all of you! Tryst wouldn’t be Tryst without you!! Xo ~ Jen

    • When I write pieces like this, they are meant to be read slowly…to get the feeling and emotion I put into every word. There are very deep, intense, raw and painful emotions in each word I chose for these pieces. I write with my soul. I write from the pit of my heart. I write the truth. I write what I have felt… It is very healing for me. ~J

  1. You and Hotspur think way too highly of me but I feel the same. My life feels more complete knowing I have made meaningful connections that I hope …. will never end. Today…I feel a storm coming…it happens sometimes but knowing I can write it out…that people read and relate helps so much. I feel less alone and more grounded. Thank you for being so full of positive energy despite all the reasons life hands out to bring one down. You, hotspur, and several others mean a lot to me!

    • Life can bring thunder & lightning but it can also bring us amazing & wonderful rainbows! How cool is it that we have met? I’m so grateful for it !! I love my Tryst family!! And all its VIP members!!

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