A Woman Like This

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A Woman Like This

 

 How can I

Let others inside

To see a person

I’ve tried to hide

I hide myself

Cause I really don’t know

Who I am at all

So where do I go

 

How can I

Allow anyone to know me

If even I

Don’t know who I stand to be

I’m a little girl

Who is incredibly lost

I’m a grown woman

Who has faithfully fought

To mold and shape

To be OK

Only to survive

Each coming day

 

But I hate myself

For being so weak

For losing my soul

For not practicing what I preach

 

How can I

Find myself again

In a world that I

Have indulged in sin

Who could love

A woman like this

To simply love myself

Is all I really wish

 

~~ J. Lefever ~~

(05/20/12)

 

Another piece of my vulnerable spirit, when addiction had ahold of me. When I was chained down, using substances to free my mind, I was only killing myself, and wasting my time.

Addiction really turns you into a person that you’re not… I’m so glad I stood up and fought. I would fight again, I’d fight for me any day, I would find my voice, I’d use my strength in every way… I will never give up, and surrender again, I will never create that emptiness within…

 

 

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5 responses to “A Woman Like This

    • Yes.. Me too!! I love myself so much! (How concieted does that sound??!!??) But it’s true.. I went from very lost in the dark, to being very alive and full of love and light!! Addiction will take a person’s soul. Recovery brings a person back to life. See the difference? There is so much contrast in my writing from then to now. Pay attention to the dates. My current stuff IS me… the dark stuff was all suring active addiction.. I’m glad to be me today! I have learned so much in ny life.. so much. It’s kind of amazing! ~ Jen

  1. Pingback: Neverending – Saturday Poetry Post « Lyrical Anarchy

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