Midnight Reflection (02/07/13)
Darkness blankets the cities we live in. We are all breathing, surviving and playing our own personal parts in society. Making our own music. Each one of us is important to the Universe. I have told you this before, Tryst friends, each one of you. I know that I have written some sad, sensitive and tearful things the last couple of days. I appreciate your support very much. Yes, this last year, just this last June, the worst, most terrible tragedy that could ever happen to me happened. I lost a part of me that I thought I’d always have. My brother. In this process, the process of grieving, I go through many up’s and down’s.
I am an optimist. Aside from the fact that I’m a recovering heroin addict, and dealing with this loss, I still consider myself an optimist. Through my actions in life, which speak louder than words, this is proven true. And even the eternal optimist has sadness, and sensitivity, and vulnerabilities, and bad days, and shitty moods, and slips and falls, and many imperfections, and mistakes, and so on. This only proves that I am, as I have said before, just an imperfect person in an imperfect world. (This is one of my fav pieces of Jen wisdom!) Tempting thoughts pop into my mind, or I’m triggered by something, or I have a craving for something toxic to my pure little soul I got going on today. Well, I’m getting real good and strong at shutting those thoughts the fuck up! Yep, and it feels good and I think I’m a bad ass when I shut them the fuck up! I say, Ha-Ha to you, you tempting little toxic thing because that’s all you are, a little toxic nothing! And I move on.
Tonight, this midnight reflection is for two things:
1. Kicking the temptations ass. Check.
2. Giving Mucho thanks to you Tryst friends!
Tryst friends, I am utterly grateful for all of you. You are all big, not little, but BIG shinning lights in my life, in my heart, and in my soul that help me more than you all probably know. I look forward to writing again. I am sharing my work, pieces, and words through my creativity and in Tryst World, and it’s comforting to my spirit. I am blessed to have connected with all of you, and a few of you more closely and on a more personal level. I am truly blessed. I am truly grateful for you. I am truly opening up and letting you all see me here on Tryst and creating a wonderful piece of me that wouldn’t be as great without all of you. Thank you.
Without all of you, without Tryst, there would be no need for this act of definition.
Good Night & Happy Dreams! ~Jen