Soul Revival

Soul Revival

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Crooked thoughts
Travelling through the air
Destination undecided as
It continues nowhere
Begging for a reason
An explanation to ease
My wondering mind
Misdirected chaos
Left remembered behind
I lost my strength
Perseverance slipped away
I’m not my yesterday, yet
Misery likes its prey
Stumbling down on my own
Trembling knees
How have I returned
To the place that makes me bleed
A liar and a fake
I pretend all too well
Broken promises written
Straight back to that hell
Noises I can’t turn off
Silence pierced through my inner voice,

Telling myself I’m falling
Hearing my own little voice
I thought it was OK
That I was able to trust
I fear I’ve been tricked
Left a joke in the dust
So now I run so far
Tears burn in regret
Anger builds against my soul
Shamefully lost the bet
People thrive and celebrate
In watching someone cry
Until the day when evil wins
And the weak have finally died
Why I’m here to tell you this
I really don’t even know
I cannot explain myself enough
Confusion rendered me low
Yes so down low I cannot speak
My words are upside down
Just a made example of
To watch you cry and frown
Upside down & inside out
I’m a shallow shell of nothing
A shadow cast into the wind
Still running from something
Why me, why my, why is this so
Why must I have to endure
Reason like this I search & search
To find this madnesses cure
Circling back to that broken place
I cannot even explain
Where I went, or why I chose
To carry on this pain…

But here I am
Not really so
You can see that I am gone
Something must be stronger than me,

I’ve been acting all along
Are you confused looking at me
Wondering where my light is going
Puzzling reality to me as well
Who pretends to be the knowing
Off the edge, I slipped and fell
Into the black abyss
Confusion sets in, I can’t explain
My spirit feeling like this
Frazzled my nerves, my soul & mind,

The bridge is falling apart
Truth my be I’m still afraid
To show my open heart

The path I’ve chosen I hate with a passion,

I barely have survived
I won’t give up, or even surrender
Until my souls revived

 

~ J. Lefever ~
(02/18/13)

Something clicked, and took me back, I felt something deep inside…

This piece is my yesterday, and my present just the same.

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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 
 
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5 responses to “Soul Revival

  1. Pingback: Quiet – A Saturday Poetry Post | Lyrical Anarchy

  2. You are an amazing writer!! This is so beautiful in its raw intensity, but this part cut me like a knife:

    “People thrive and celebrate
    In watching someone cry
    Until the day when evil wins
    And the weak have finally died”

    Humans can be so callous and cruel — and then feign surprise when another finally crumbles to the ground from their incessant pecking…

    • Thank you so much. I have known those who celebrate in the suffering of others and it is heartbreaking. I have always wondered what has happened to them in their life to make their hearts so cold. I am completely the opposite of that. I am such a soft heart.. I feel emotion so easily, even if its not directly related to me. Thanks for your kind words!!

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