Daily Reflection on Tryst (04/03/13)

Daily Reflection (04/03/13)

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Who Prepares Us For This…?

 

Life.

Learning. Integrity. For. Everything!! L.I.F.E)) Yea, I just made up an acronym!! But I think it sums up where I’m at mentally right now. Integrity. I have a lot of respect for people who have integrity.

 

It is mid-week and I have hit the wall. I have been really good lately, but that sadly came to a screeching halt yesterday afternoon. Now, I’m back to worry & fret, wiggin the EFF out, and some tears of sadness.

 

I have let myself down. Ultimately, I have let myself down. I should have made better choices last summer when I got back to the city, and as a result, I am suffering and paying for my shitty decisions today. My life? Yes, my life is greatly effected. Anyone elses? Well, besides my family, no. I am having a hard time with life right now. I am having a hard time not falling apart today. I am having a hard time not wanting to beat the crap out of someone for the shit storm they bring, the lies, the shitty shit, the countless wrongs that have gone on, and for what?

 

You know, I really am not in the best mental states to be writing right now… at least, not something to be posted or published. So… I am going to try to shut up most of the chatter that is going on in my mind, and heart, right now… and get on with a positive message to leave you all with…

 

Going back to my lil acronym up there… integrity. Integrity is such a good & noble thing to have. You can’t fake having integrity. Your actions ultimately prove whether or not you poses this virtue or not. And for those who are evil & selfish pieces of shit… what goes around, comes around!! Karma is real patient. It watches you. It will find you.

 

Tryst, today I want to reflect on doing the right thing!! I know it feels so much better to be honest & tell the truth, to not have to make up lies, or take things that aren’t really yours. I know it feels good to be a positive, piece of happiness in another’s life… as opposed to the cause of someone’s pain & suffering. It can’t possibly feel good to be the influence of another’s problems. So with all that said… why is it even a question what kind of person you want to be, or want to be around!?!?

So, don’t do people wrong! It will come back to bite your ass off in the end!!

 

Have the decency to make the right choices and NOT cause more pain & suffering to other people.

 

Have some integrity!! Stand up and OWN the shit you do!!

 

Holding yourself accountable for your actions is the mark of an adult with a decent soul. Blaming others is the mark of a coward with a weak soul. Which one would you rather be?

Eventually, people always get what they deserve…

~Jen

 

Tryst Thought : There is a reason why some people’s lives never get any better… sometimes, sadly, there are really people who are just black in the heart. When faced with those kinds of people, you need to learn to just walk away… no matter how much it hurts… because those kinds of people only care about themselves, never you, and will only leave you broken & alone when you have nothing left.

It would mean so much if I could hear certain words,  but we don’t always get what we want, right?

Sadly, it is because of these things in life that I trust no one. People like this have almost completely ruined my ability to trust others. I need to stop writing now… yikes…

 

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14 responses to “Daily Reflection on Tryst (04/03/13)

  1. Unfortunately, the only thing in life that can prepare us for heartbreak is heartbreak itself, and even then. It always hurts.

    I’m not going to tell you that I know how you feel because I don’t. No one does. No one can. It’s your life, you’re living it, not the rest of us.

    I will however tell you what I fear. The reason I’m going to a therapist. I have extreme social anxiety. I don’t trust people. I’m afraid of rejection on the smallest of scales, I’m afraid of fear itself.

    I tell you this because I want you to know that if you need someone to talk to, someone to trust, I’m here for you.

    Stay strong. I know you can.

  2. It’s the shit we endure that makes us beautiful if we let it. You are beautiful no matter how much shit people try to cover you with and pile on top of you. People will tell you that you are amazing, that they hope you will be ok, and they will wish you well….and whether the sentiments are real or not…whether people care that much or not…you are enough…you are strength and beauty and light and to hell with the darkness that tries to keep that from shining.I shouldn’t be writing today….but I love you.

    • Thank you. That means so much to me. I love you too. I’m dealing with some shitty shit this week… I’ve been pulled in different directions and I can’t be everywhere at once. I made it in to work today… which is good I suppose. I will give you a shout on my lunch break. XoXo

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