Guilty Too

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Guilty Too

 

A test of my strength

Forgiving I need to be

Its been only hours since

Since your actions hurt me

I tell of a time

When we were both kind

Walking side by side

Your heart was inside mine

Battling disappointment

My anger subsides

Remembering the moment

That my spirit died

In that four-cornered room

The cell of my shame

My faith came to same me

From my internal pain

You told me what I had done

What you wanted me to do

I have lived up to my word

Given you all you asked me to

I made you worry all the time

You said I broke your heart

So I promised to mend

The pieces that fell apart

I remember the promises

I made that day

Promises to shelter

Myself in the rain

I give you no reason to put me down

You have no reason to cry for me

Yet you still throw my yesterday

As if the present you can’t even see

I still face a mountain

As I have said before

Yesterday is gone

I Walk through the next door

I’m not the only guilty one

You have been hurtful too

I’m still trying to forgive

The past I’ve had with you

 

~J. Lefever~

(04/26/13)

 

This is a piece about my mom. It’s very personal. But I feel the need to clarify who I’m speaking about…

 

*****
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 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 
 
 
 

 

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12 responses to “Guilty Too

    • Ugh. We just have so much going on… my brother was shot and killed last June and my family is hurting so bad. Things will never be the same… we are all going through the stages of grief, which makes our emotions like a roller coaster.. just a day at a time… that’s how I try to take things…

      • Thank you. I’ve written posts on the tragedy.. “Road to Nowhere” , “The Day My World Changed” , and some poetry.. if you search David Lefever in my Tryst Search bar theey pop up.

        The trial is coming up in May for the person who took his life.. it has us all very sad. My brother and I were as close as any two siblings should be. He was my best friend. I loved him more than life.. I miss him so bad.. and my parents.. oh, it is just really hard losing a son & brother to such a sudden violent crime…

      • I can imagine. I’ll look through tomorrow. I’m exhausted today.

        Why has it taken so long for the trial to take place? That’s nearly a year later

      • Yes.. that’s how long it takes. Sometimes two to three years. They complile evidence, witnesses, blah blah and anything with the state takes forever. A person convicted of murder will sit in jail for a year or more before the trial.. that’s how it is here..

      • No No honey bear!! It is ok!! It is hard to say the wrong thing when you’re being kind and supportive, which you always are!! I love you for that!! I hope justice is served too. That person doesn’t deserve to be free and happy for taking an innocent persons life and destroying a family. But… my point is, that no matter what happens, my brobro isn’t coming back. Nothing I can do will bring him back. That kills me… I just want my brother back… Thats all I was saying.
        XO

      • I understand. You know he will always be with you, although I know that doesn’t help. I’m going to stop commenting on this post.

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