I Will Survive ~ Tryst Update

I Will Survive ~ Tryst Update

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Well, well…

This was a tough weekend…

 

I was trying to hold myself back as much as possible from popping off at the mouth, and I don’t think I did a very good job. I got off on some social media, telling the town off and declaring how much I hate it here. Did I feel better afterwards…? Maybe a little… but it’s always like this for me, as soon as the angry words start flowing, they don’t want to stop!! And it turns into, ‘Oh, I need to add this…’ & ‘I should have said that!’ …

 

But, in the end, I found myself on a Sunday night, wondering if the few people who originally pissed me off even read my FB blast in which I told everyone how fake and two-faced they are and how they need to stay out of my business… going on to explain how I’m leaving this city cause I can’t stand all the shit heads that don’t mind their own…

 

You know, I hear other people go on rants, on ALL of the social media outlets and blogs and such… so why do I feel like I even need to explain mine? The truth is that someone came to me and said that my brothers killing was set up and done on purpose… among some other things, and this just completely threw me over the edge!! I mean, this person has NO clue what was going on in my brother’s, mine, in our family’s life, so to make a statement like this, it is just pure cruelty and all fiction. It’s even more fucked up because that was my brother, so the emotional shit storm that it brought to my heart and mind was completely uncalled for!

 

My point on the things I posted was to make clear that I don’t point fingers and judge. I also don’t stick my nose in other people’s business… especially when it involves the sensitive emotion of the death of a loved one. That is so disrespectful. Don’t people have any manners? Couth? That is just…. completely fucked up!!

 

In the end, I will survive… and I will be on a beach someday, not looking back at the place I came from, as there is nothing to look back and see…

 

~ Jen

*****

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 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 

 

 

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11 responses to “I Will Survive ~ Tryst Update

    • Oh, yes! I’m glad to know that is you!! I will accept, of course!!

      ((Please don’t mind my verbal throw-up I had last weekend. I received some nasty gossip news from a person who knows nothing about my brothers murder… needless to say, I was all over the place. But the statement I made about all my favorite people living in different states, and not here, was accurate and true!))

      I am always hangin.. it’s all I can do, right? XO

  1. I have a beach over the road from me can come visit. Bring the hubby too so he doesn’t think I’m making a pass at you 😉

    There are people who’s main aim in life is to see how angry they can make you. I would say to not rise to it, but that’s not easy to do.

    hugz

    • Exactly. People do enjoy seeing them be the cause of a rise in emotion. Such a shameful thing to be proud of. I do ignore bullshit, but when it comes to my brother, it is different. My brother is gone and there needs to be respect. Since he isn’t here to defend himself, I am the voice who does when a situation arises where someone is saying anything about what happened. it’s no one’s business really. And no one really knows what happened that day except for the guilty one who took his life, and my brother.

      The whole tragedy has me quite twisted in knots at times… And all this unnecessary shit, have some respect for the family trying to grieve and move forward! So disrespectful…

      • It’s worse than disrespectful. They are scum. I’m glad you have your hubby to help you at times though. Although I imagine he is stuck sometimes as to what to say to help.

  2. People will talk just to hear their own voices. Like I told you the other day, I have dealt with so many people just like that, that I have sworn of most people. It sucks to have to feel that way, but sometimes people aren’t even worth the worry. I hope all goes better for you this week, and anytime you need to talk to an unbiased friend, I am here. 🙂

    • Thanks my sweet lacie!! As I go through these stages of grief, I try to remember that I’m not the only one. We are ALL recovering from something. I posted, which I know you saw, on FB that all my favorite people are all in different states… this is true! Which means, I am here for you too, if you ever need. Sometimes it’s nice to NOT think about my shit..

      People do like to hear their own voices. Blah. But not being ‘worth the worry’ is such wise advice my dear. You hit the nail on the head with that one! It’s true. They are not worth shit. I hate this kind of negative crap because it pulls a side of me to the surface in which I don’t particularly like… the mean/defensive side… I much rather live in peace with no conflict or disrespect. Guess I’ll find that when I get the hell outta here… can’t wait…. counting days…

      (sigh)

      • I had to deal with similar crap when my mom passed. People couldn’t just let me grieve, they had to throw around their “facts” about what happened and why. When they knew nothing. Sometimes there just isn’t any good reason for things and people need to learn to leave it alone. When my mother died, I came to my own conclusions as to why and that’s how I was able to get by. We don’t need others to tell us why. I think most of us are capable of figuring it out on our own, or at the very least figuring out our own way of dealing with it. Regardless, we love and we lose, and that is life. Each and every one of us has to go through it, and should never have to feel any worse about it than we already do.

        I get defensive at times too, but thats normal. If people learned to worry about their own shit, and stop worrying about everyone else’s, this whole world would be a happier place.

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