The Victim & The Villain

I am going through my poetry and putting together my third manuscript. So, I am compiling all my pieces, reading through them, picking and choosing, and I came across this one. This is a piece that remains one of my favorites… most dear to the painful part of my soul… yesterdays news, but still ever so present in the choices I make… I wanted to share it again… just for fun…
***** 
This is… my most beloved piece. This piece is meant to be read slowly, to get the emotion in each word I chose to tell this story. This is a short story, about me. It is written poetically. I am happy to share it, and hope it is enjoyed and understood by those who read it. This is also the title of a book that I am currently writing… one of my writing projects that is very dear to my heart. This is the story of the Victim and the Villain. ~ J
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The Victim & The Villain
I can tell you of days
When I was completely frozen
I can tell you of weeks that went by
And I didn’t even notice
I can tell you of mornings
I would wake up mad
Mad ’cause I was still breathing, still alive
…isn’t that sad?
I can tell you of a lady
Who was once alive in me
She was vibrant, and she smiled
She was what other’s wanted to be
But somehow, in her life, she became
Tragically sad
Things began to happen
Now, She’s a Victim to all things bad
A run of bad luck, for a decade, or so
But she was also the Villain of her story, you know
As much as she tried
To push the darkness away
The Villain within
Would not let her stray
The Villain was strong but
It needed it’s Victim down
And with all of the chaos
The Victim was stuck in her town
Further and further
Did her pure image go
But deep down inside
Her spirit would know
In a time and a place
She could rise up again
And put to rest
Her corruption, her sin
I can tell you of days
When I thought this impossible
I can tell you today
I have become remarkable
Only because
I can see inside
That I was the Victim.. and the Villain
In my very own mind
Playing the taunter
And being taunted by…
The miraculous strength of
Me, Myself, and I…
I can’t tell you who wins
The story of me
The Victim, the Villain, or the saviour to be…
But I am each one
Each integral part
That make up the Victim… and the Villain
Inside of my heart.
~~ J. Lefever ~~
(04/15/012)
*****
sdgaerg
 
 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 
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23 responses to “The Victim & The Villain

    • That’s a good idea.. I do read this one well… it’s my husbands fav too. He says it so bad ass that it moves him, and you must know, my husband is NOT easily moved… it’s a rare occurance to move that man in any emotional or inspirational way.. (haha)

      Thank you for reading and I’m really glad you like it!
      XO

    • really? I am fully aware and understanding of many things… addiction being one of them. Heroin was my drug of choice, but not my only substance… but it was the one that stole the biggest part of my soul & my life. This piece tells a bit of the story…

      I am always here to exchange words, if you ever need an understanding ear. I am now in recovery and living a very different life, but I never forget where I once was…

      I still
      to this day
      fight through many things…

      XO ~ Jen

      • you are an amazing person…my doc was the same.along with various others..im newly clean…thank you for the kind words..sometimes it seems we must go through these tragedies to get to the triumph.
        thank you..truly

      • Yep. But there is great triumph at the end, I truly believe that! I also, not only believe, but know, that we, who go through these things, are more understanding, compassionate, sensitive and wise to the ways of the world… opposed to those who never ever fall down in their life.

        Some of the most beautiful, talented, creative, intelligent, artistic and of course, sensitive people I have ever met.. are addicts. We have an outlet that seems to be a need for fulfillment. A fulfillment that is different for all of us, as we are all so different… but we are all seeking some kind of comfort… and addicts all have beauty in their spirits.
        🙂 XO

      • so much beauty in spirit that sometimes i believe the harshness in this world drives us to addiction…but in recovery we are blessed to see both and know we can make the harsh a bit softer and allow the beauty to flourish.
        you rock lady.

      • Awe.. shoot… you are too kind with your words!! I have studied addiction for over a decade now, and stastically speaking, 85% of the world is addicted to something… so that actually makes me, or us, quite the norm. (also a sad reality) Rehab’s are a billion dollar industry that are packed full to the brim these days. They are a revolving door business. Can’t keep people off a waitlist half the time. It wasn’t like that 15 years ago… addiction has grown, imensly…

        Once sobriety is established, and addiction is arrested, we then become able to ‘flourish’ in the beauty of our souls. It is hard to do that when we are using because those substances cover our spirit in something dark… making us hidden to the things that make us beautiful.

        I know all of these things first hand, as I have lived them.

        I think you rock too!! XO

      • I am super glad I re-posted this. It was one of the very first poems I put on Tryst, back when no one read it… so no one ever saw some of those pieces… which, are some of my favorite, classic poems…

        Maybe I’ll do a Tryst Greatest Hit’s… or a Tryst re-visited… hum… there goes my creative mind.. at work… 🙂

    • Awe, … let me think… let that sink in… hero? I have never thought of myself in that way… I have never sonsidered my victories as heroic, victories as in sobriety, complete renovation of my life, getting back to square one, where I was before all the chaos…

      Is that heroic? Am I my own saviour, or my own hero?
      Am I still a little bit victim, and still a little bit villain?

      And there I go…. analyzing…. thanks Papa Spur!! 🙂
      XO

    • Thank you. I agree that it is one of my better pieces… It is one of my favorites…

      ((I wrote this in prison. I was very proud of it. Being in there, I wrote ALL the time. And when I pulled a really kick ass piece out of me, it would quite seriously, make my day))

      XO

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