Evening Reflection on Tryst (05/01/13)

Evening Reflection (05/01/13)

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Karma Points

In life… things are not easy. We do not know all the answers. We do not always make the right choices. We screw up, we succeed. We win, we lose. We smile, we frown… we laugh, we cry. Yes, we do all of these things… and so much more!! Our emotions allow us to feel, our minds allow us to think and make choices.

 

Just because we make a mistake, doesn’t always mean the outcome of that mistake is something we didn’t care about. I say this because… in my life, I have made mistakes without even thinking of the outcome!!Sounds silly, I know… but this actually happens a lot. Especially to those people who are really ‘live-for-the-moment’ kinds, those personality types who are more sporadic, maybe braver, chance takers… extremists… yes, that is me.

 

I think that we have karma points. I think that we do get chances. I think that in the cosmic realm of things… the universe and all its infinite higher powers, and elements, knows when people are of a good soul, or of a bad soul. ((Here is where I struggle with the concept that there are really such souls out there that are bad… but at this point in my life… it know this to be true. Even someone I know, and love so much, can have a bad… oh nevermind… )) ANYWAY~ my point is..

 

Take chances. Live your life. Check in with yourself. Understand it is OK to mess up. You are human. You are going to mess things up sometimes! And if you do… don’t ever allow someone, who says they love you, tell you that if you ever mess up they are done with you! (( Like a parent.. or something… ))

 

No one deserves to hear that!! Love is NOT conditional on mess up’s, or anything!! Love, real love, has no rules.

 

I hope the night finds you well!! I hope you all have some good karma points saved up!!

XOXO ~ Jen

 

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Evening Reflection on Trystღ (04/05/13)

Evening Reflection (04/05/13)

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Mind Walks

Happy evening to you. I hope the night finds you all well. I have had a day, quite busy, in my mind. When I spend a lot of time thinking, I call them mind walks. You know, we go outside and take walks… So, when I think a lot, I relate it to my mind walking around in the space of thought, philosophy, life… what makes us us. We are all so different, beautiful and unique. I am such a people person. I’ve always found the mind and soul such interesting gifts we are all given…

Tonight, I’ve been thinking of the scars we have. Not physical scars, like those from injury or accidents. But the scars we get deep down inside.

Life takes us places, shows us things, and gives us moments that leave ever lasting impressions. Impressions, scars, memories, nightmares, even traumatic events unfortunately take place and no matter what we do, or how old we get, or how much time goes by, or any & all the things we do to heal, forgive and/or forget… we still carry the scars on our hearts & souls.

These scars have an impact on the way we handle things in our future. We may have trust issues, or we may develop fear in certain situations because of past events. Our past is what we compare our present and future experiences with, because it is what we have literally already lived through.

I have some scars on my heart. Quite a few, to be truthful. I was wondering, the other day, if even though I am aware of these scars, and even though I have worked through so much, and even though I am in such a good place with myself… I wonder if I still suffer from these scars?

I can’t tell anyone how to heal. We all heal differently. Through my experiences, I can talk about how I got through them and relate to others in similar aspects, but I understand that we all need different things. I don’t think that one person has all the right answers for everyone. (This is why I have a hard time with psychologists who tell people how to heal. Unless the actual person giving the advice has been through it, how can they possibly know how it feels and how to possibly alleviate the suffering?)

My reflection is this: Scars on the heart and soul are deep and real. If we have them, it is important to recognize them and try to nurture them the best way you can for yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you that your pain is not real, or valid. No one gets to tell you how you feel!!

I hope you all have a great night Tryst Fam.

XoXo ~ Jen

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Evening Reflection on Tryst♥ (03/24/13)

Evening Reflectiono (03/24/13)

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Frenemies

Good Sunday night, right? I am getting ready to wrap up a great day. It was one of those perfect Sundays, where, things were just nice, relaxing and peaceful all day long. I was in no rush to be anywhere. I was in no hurry to get anything done. No one was demanding anything from me. I had all day to do Jen stuff… and it was really nice!

So this evening, I was thinking about all the people I have in my life. I have hundreds of acquaintances. I have a few great friends. I love my friendships. They are so important to me. I have written before on friendships. The importance of being a friend, the honor of being called a friend, and how the relationship between two friends is one that takes effort from both people. I truly believe that. Good friendships exhist when the two souls are in harmony with each other. Communication between friends is one of those important elements to a friendship in harmony.

What happens when communication fails? Let’s say one friend does something that upsets the other friend in some way. Sometimes we may do, or say something and we are unaware that we have offended our friend. Unless we are told that we hurt them, hurt their feelings, offended them in some way, we may never know we did so. Consequently, bad vibes are born and the harmonious friendship is at stake.

Frenemies is like friends that aren’t really friends. Enemies keeping their enemies close like a friend. Fake friends. Ick. Yuck. Who wants that? I have zero tolerance for fake. If I have done something to upset someone, especially a close friend… I would like to know!! Please tell me what I’ve done so things can be worked out!!

How productive is it to have a situation with someone in your life, something that bothered you, and not tell them? Avoid talking to them about it?

Honestly, its pretty childish. Its not the make of adult behavior at all!! Its the immaturity of an attitude saying, “So & so pissed me off but I’m not gonna say anything. I’m gonna just stop talking to them all together!”

News for you, you’re acting like a child if this is how you handle things. I am not meaning to be offensive to anyone by making this statement… but it is my firm belief and opinion that a person who acts this way is not s friend. They are a frenemy…

To all you friends out there… be good to your friends! Treat them well… like you want to be treated. Like I said on Soul to Shine this afternoon, be a person that YOU would want to be around! Speak up!! Voice your feelings!! If you don’t, you’re really acting like a child that knows nothing about how to have a relationship with someone else. Communicate!!

I hope all my Tryst friends are having a great night!! I wish you all a wonderful week!! Goon night Tryst!! ♥jen♥

★Tryst Thought★ We have a voice inside of us. When our instincts speak to us, listen. We are the ONLY ones who can stand up for ourselves completely. In this life, no matter what, you will ALWAYS have you!! Good conflict resolution starts with voicing your truths. Good friendships need healthy communication.

So speak up!! How the hell are people going to know somethin important, if you keep it hidden?
Make friends!! Not frenemies!! ∞

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Evening Reflection on Trystღ (03/14/13)

Evening Reflection (03/14/13)

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Check Please!!

 Hey there. How is my land of Tryst? What a day for me!! I feel like my spirit has been resurrected from the dead! What a long, cold, dead, grey & emotionally, mentally, spiritually & physically draining winter the Midwest has had! Phew ~ are we there yet? Are we there? It is over? Are the freakin birds chirping? Did that thing see his shadow.. or whatever? Spring time, yes Yes Please!! I think I can safely say, um, …………………We are ready! So, bring it mother nature!!

Enough of that. Yes. I am feeling like Jen again. My prayers have been answered. My wonderful friends, here & beyond, have been so kind as to hold my hand, and my heart, as I crawled through this last chapter of winter. I cannot thank you all enough! You are wonderful blessings who have special places inside my heart. ((You know who you are, 🙂 wink))

Today, in my wonderful rush of energy that just kept coming, caffeine not included, I caught myself popping off at the mouth, just a bit. Just a bit too much, actually. And by ‘popping-off’ I simply mean, my mouth kept going, and talking, when I needed to take a breath, hush up, and put myself in a little check. I needed to put my mouth in check!!

I am reminded by this, that, in the haste of certain situations in life, we can get caught up. Emotions get involved, and that’s when things can get out of control, sometimes even ugly. Tonight, I reflect on the thought that, time and patience are a virtue. Take moments to think things through before the words fall out of your mouth. I know that if my husband and I have a disagreement, sometimes in the haste of it, we may say something we don’t necessarily mean.

Sometimes it is better to take a step back, take a few breaths and think before you speak.

This is called putting yourself in check.

Check in with yourself. Ask yourself how you feel, how the situation makes you feel, and establish the right time and place to verbally throw things up, or keep things more inside.

Honestly, I think it’s important to ‘Check In’ with yourself quite often throughout the day. Because it sucks to act, re-act, or over-react to someone or something and then regret it later.

So check in with yourselves tonight… tomorrow… and see how much grounded you can find yourself, and all thanks to, well, yourself!!

Good night Tryst! Have a lovely evening! ~ Jen

Tryst Thought: It’s good to remember that you are not the only one going through the ‘pits’ and ‘peaks’ of life. Others around you are going through life as well. You never know what another is feeling, or experiencing, or recovering from. You never know. Just like they don’t know your stuff too. Be considerate of that. Be considerate of others. We are all in this together.. Life. Right?

Can I get the check please?

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Evening Reflection on Trystღ (03/13/13)

Evening Reflection (03/13/13)

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Unnecessary Cruelness

 Good wishes and bright stars, is what I hope for all of you @ Tryst!! I have had a good day. Not the greatest, but good. It was good. I have been slowly coming back to life, after a short intermission, and I am reminded in the process of all the many blessings I have to be grateful for. It breaks my heart that there is cruelty in the world. I tweeted Mr. Hotspur a few days ago, that if I could, I would do anything and everything to end any & all suffering in the world. My sensitive heart just can’t fathom the things that happen at times. And that said… it is a true statement… I am not a fan of sadness and suffering, for any living thing.

To wrap up my good day, I decided to reach out and send a message to my brother’s wife. This is a person who has been so mean to me. A person who, has never taken a minute to get to know me, and I can even quote her on that as she text me those very words after she told me to not text her again. I sent her a very kind message, letting her know that no matter what, I love her. Even though, for no reason at all, I have received unnecessary cruelness from her. I still take the time to be nice to her, as I have always been, and I always will be.

I understand that my family is hurting. We lost a son, a brother, a husband, a best friend, my partner in life whom I grew up next to… we are all in such pain. In this process, I see no reason for the unnecessary cruelness. Especially to any one of us who has continued to show love, generosity and kindness. And as tears of confusion rolled down my face, I realized that me and that girl are just two very different people. While I would never do certain things, or say things, or be mean and hurtful in those ways, it’s just not who I am. My heart is not built that way. My family knows this. My family knows my heart and that is what is important.

Tonight, I reflect on the diversity in the hearts of people. Some choose to carry mean hatred, and point fingers, and lash out on the kind ones whom they know won’t lash back. Others choose to carry warmth, forgiveness and kindness. Inside our hearts, we know the things we have done. If we have done wrong, whether the whole world knows, or no one was there to see it… we will always know. We will always know inside our hearts what we have done, and whether it was right or wrong. We always know our truths. We can’t lie to ourselves. I get to go to sleep, and close my eyes with a clean conscience.

And I know that karma is always watching me. Karma is also watching and waiting for those who are guilty of unnecessary cruelness.

I hope you have a good night and pleasant dreams. ~ Jen

Tryst Thought: The one who stands pointing a finger with anger in their heart, is the one who will end up suffering the most. They will suffer from self-inflicted unhappiness. And they will have no one to blame but themselves. In the end, kindness always wins. And it’s not a matter of winning and losing, but I believe kindness conquers cruelness… eventually… every single time.

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Evening Reflection on Trystღ (02/25/13)

Evening Reflection (02/25/13)

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Mind Chatter

Hey there Tryst Family. How are we all doing on this Monday night? Here in the Midwest, we are all scrambling around the city, preparing for another Snowmagedon!! (Reference my other post on the Blizzard of KC) Literally, people are getting into civil arguments and fights all over town at the Markets, Grocery stores, and the Wal-Marts!! The radio stations are blowing up with these stories of women running down isles, grabbing 20 loaves of bread off the shelf, and other random women verbally attacking them, asking how many kids do they have to feed, and making claims like ‘you aren’t allowed to buy all that bread!!’ Seriously? Is this for real? I’m watching the news right now, and they are reporting sell out’s on bread, milk, eggs and showing rows of empty shelves, isle after isle… I’m thinking, why is this whole city preparing for a storm the size of an Ice Age? It’s some massive snow fall, but even if we do get ‘snowed-in’ our homes, it won’t be longer than a day or two… Really KC, WTF? Like you don’t have food for two days? Like you’re gonna eat 20 loaves of bread in two days? I’m one to say, better safe than sorry, but of you find yourself fighting with someone over that 20th loaf of bread, you think you’re gonna need all that bread? I hate to be the one to say, ‘told ya so’ when the blizzard is over and we are back on the streets, back to life, back to normal, gloomy, February winter in a couple of days. Besides, March 1st is on Friday… Spring is a comin’… let’s all freak the fuck out here!!

OK. Got that off my chest. I’m here to reflect. Today, I had a situation with a little lie. Yes, someone told me a little lie. Later in the afternoon, I got a phone call and the caller, unknowing of this fact, spilled the beans on this little lie. So I had to turn around and confront the lie, cause I’m not going to let the lie fly!! Oh no, I had to confront it. So then it turned into, me being the bad guy, and I had the wrong idea, and they were going to tell me later, but…. yea, yea…. blah, blah…. point is this: A lie is a lie is a lie. No way around it. You lied!!

Have you ever caught someone in a lie, confronted them on it, and watched them lie about lying? That’s what happened today!! This person wanted to lie about lying!! To my face!! You know, I could go on & on about the ridiculousness about this, but we all know what a lie is. We all know when we are lying. We all know that it hurts to b lied to. To be understanding, sensitive and empathetic to the person who felt they needed to lie to me today, I will say this: I understand the main reason that we tell a lie… It is because we are afraid to tell the truth. For whatever the reason, or situation, lies are told because of fear.

So, if you find yourself telling a lie, or embellishing a story, bending the truth, hiding the truth, or not telling facts, keeping a secret, which is another form of lying… ask yourself why you are afraid. What fear is keeping you from being honest, and, is the lie, if found out, going to make things better, or worse?

Is it better to lie? However you want to justify it, a lie is a lie, and lies hurt the people you lie to.

Is it better to just be honest? Whatever fear you’re wanting to lie about, maybe telling the truth about things won’t hurt someone else, and won’t damage your character.

Seems to me like this will avoid a lot of other problems that come with telling a lie. It also avoids the person who lied from having to justify, explain, and rationalize why their lie was ok, when, it wasn’t.

It only takes one lie, getting caught in one lie, for your trust & character to be changed. Getting trust back is a very difficult thing.

The truth will set you free…

Have a good night Tryst Family!! ~ Jen

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Evening Reflection on Trystღ (02/24/13)

Evening Reflection (02/24/13)

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Slap Happy

Buenos Noches Tryst Familla!! It is bitter cold here!! Burr!! And just like that, in the blink of an eye, the weekend is over. Time goes by so fast, I mean, faster & faster everyday it seems!! I was out shopping for food yesterday afternoon and the cashier at the market looked at me and said, ‘Can you believe it is almost March!?’  I looked at her and shook my head. Seriously, where does the time go?

This really got me thinking… (Nah, me thinking? I know, I know, I’m always thinking… and stressing, for that matter… stressing more than thinking, so…) I guess I should say, this really got me stressing, stressing about my life!! I need to get some serious motivation here because time is slipping away, my life is getting further along every minute, and I’m not working hard enough on the things I have planned for myself. When I say this, it gets me depressed, and frustrated with myself, and to be honest, I’m in a really good mood tonight!! So, while I entertain these thoughts, I’ll push them to the side for now and think about realistic things. This means, not getting overwhelmed looking at the whole picture, but small steps that will get me to the place, and the things, I want for myself. Yep. Small steps, small goals… be realistic Jen…

Back to the slapping of the happiness. Have you ever heard the term ‘Slap happy?’ Well, it’s like when you are suddenly surged with this instantaneous burst of happy energy!! I got me some slap happy tonight!! It just came out of nowhere!! I got a boost of feel good and I’m smiling and my husband is looking at me like I did something bad!! (Ha-ha) Sometimes, when I drink wine, I get the slap happy, but that’s induced by the kind of buzz that is associated to wine. (Different kind of buzz compared to other kinds of alcohol, I think) Anyway, since I’m not sipping on a Chablis or Chardonnay right now, I conclude that I got a boost of natural slap happy!! And what’s so wrong with that? 🙂

Tonight, as the weekend ends, and I have thoughts swimming in my mind about the fast-moving pace of time, which is something we all have to live with, and something that none of us can stop, control or change, I;m slapped in the face with the reality that I’m not getting any younger. Obviously. And I have some serious unfinished business to attend to.

I saw a movie on TV earlier, something my husband was watching, about a crew who worked on a sail boat. Boats are a serious passion of mine. My grandpa was a Merchant Marine in WW2, and his love for boats was passed on to me. He had me at 2 years old, sitting on his lap, while he drove his boat around the big lake. I have loved boats ever since then. Well, I’ve sailed on the ocean, and this movie was another reminder of just how much I desire living on the ocean… and yes, having a beautiful boat!!

When you know what you want, you know what you need to do to get it. The way I see it is, I’m lucky to know what I want in my life. That’s half the battle right there!! There are people still trying to figure that out, trying to find what their heart desires. Well, I’m grateful to know my desires. I need to work harder on my motivation and doing what I need to get there. Indeed Jen…

Tonight I reflect on these things:

1. Slap happiness can come from other things, not just alcoholic beverages.

2. Time is slipping away, so get on it!

3. Knowing your hearts desires is half the battle.

4. Motivation is the only thing that will get me moving towards those desires!

5. Get on it! I’m not getting anywhere sitting on my ass talking about it…

I hope this slap of happiness doesn’t keep me up all night…

Have a great night Tryst Family!! ~ Jen

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