HIDE

There is so much

Hidden inside of the silence…

Do we ever take the time

To get out of our own way…

I never look both ways before I

Cross the street…

My Non-Conformity

Is no surprise to anyone, anymore…

There is so much

Hidden inside of a smile…

Sadness or pain

Admiration or desire…

Admittingly, it is so

That even I know…

Just how much, even I

Consistently, without fail…

Constantly stand, in my

Own way…

It seems, as if

I have been…

Inside of my own way

For an uncomfortable amount

Of time, So I

Am now stuck…

Inside of all that

Emotion…

Attached to the space

That is so enormously given…

To the understanding of

All that, and so much, indeed…

Hiding, living, loving, lying, suffering, devouring or dying

Inside…

Inside of the silence…

Inside of a smile…

Inside a place that feels safe

Where we all go

To hide…

***

J. LeFever

Tryst Publication 2.0

I Have Thought…

“I cannot explain it”, she said…

“Well, not everyone can do it… Not nearly everyone…” He continued, “I mean, its been over four years, since you’ve done it, and you just pick up your pen, and it spills out… All falling into place, as if you never, ever, stopped.”

He pauses for a moment to attempt to better understand, what it is exactly, that even he, himself, is defining for her at this very moment…

He continues…

“It has rhythm. It makes sense. Its pretty… Mostly… And sad too… But that’s how anyone who takes the time to absorb it, each word you seem to carelessly select, yet each word seems to fit, so perfectly, it often leaves your readers speechless… Intimidated to even try to speak upon what you’ve written… Because… Its good… Its real… I can feel it.”

He finishes his thought as he shyly looks over towards her…

She is sitting cross-legged by the window, tying a few strands of her hair into knots… Over and over again…

He cant help but to notice, as he can feel her present emotion so thick… Almost suffocating him as he shifts, sitting with the discomfort of her very real and undeniably raw sense of feeling, hanging in the room, like heavy drapes on big glass windows built on the front side of an enormous estate… The kind you drive by as a child, riding in the back seat of your parents car as a child… Thinking it must be like a museum inside… Intimidating in thoughts of being homelike… And not too comfortable either… But you still have wild, childlike fantasies of what it must be like… To be a part of a family that lives in one of those enormous, fancy and unrealistic estates that are actually considered a real ‘home’ to some people…

She was real…

And she was raw…

Always so open, like a book or a magazine…

He often wished he could communicate his life like she could… So open… So real… Captivating others like he has seen her do… More than a time or two…

“I cant explain it… I just pick up my pen and I let everything else go… I brush all the dirt from my mind… The tragic loss and deep pain too… I let go… And I just write… Its as if my soul is speaking… Yes, my soul, it is as if it’s dancing across the paper with words as its partner… Except its my prose that renders itself across the paper… And I don’t even know what I’m writing at the moment of first transcription… I truly don’t” she trails off, rather shyly…

He enjoys her shy smile as usual… Chosing not to interrupt her, as he most often does… hoping for a glance of her when shes feeling overly open and exposed… vulnerability is sweet on her and he likes it… more every time he witnesses it…

“Why now?” He asks, anticipating her response… Not having a clue what her answer could be… She is spectacular at presenting that moment revealing her element of surprise…

“Why now, after four, long, and may I say, four unbelievable years it has been for you… Since you wrote last… So, why, now… What is the significance of this time, right here, right now”, he asks her…

She is deep within her thought process… Deep in her deep mind… He can visibly see her soul at work… Pulling the perfect verbal response…

And after a few moments, she looks up to him and says, “Four years?”

“What is this ‘four years’ you keep pressing me about!?” She continues…

“Yes, I do believe, that I am ready, to speak on some things that my soul has been pushing for quite some time now…”

She pauses…

And she breathes deep…

Then with curious and lost eyes, she looks at him and says;

“But who are you? How do you speak to know so much on me! We’ve only just met!……”

***

I have some things to write about. And after all this, in due time, it is now… That I, finally come back up for air… To write about these things that I, have seen with my own eyes… Felt with my own hands… Heard with my own ears and tasted in everything that followed them…

I have thought.

It is time to speak.

…to be continued…

***

J.LeFever

Tryst Publication

2020

Atmosphere

imagescaeiwl8p.jpg

 

With the wind

Whirling all around

I am reminded

How small I am

Just a tiny spec

On the surface of this world

Wondering around

Aimlessly

Searching for the same thing

As everyone else…

Breathing the atmosphere

The same air we all breathe

And with each tiny breath

I feel alive

Today, In a world

Where everything matters

Yet, nothing is as important

As

Being loved and happy

As we all walk around

Aimlessly

Like tiny specs

On the Surface

Of this world

***

imagesCA8Q9SE7

Tryst. 2016

Because, I am

image

I woke up smiling today.
I do that most days…
It has been a long (last 3 years) …
But here I am… because of these amazing things —>
°°°
Because I am strong
I wake up smiling
Because I don’t give up
I am alive to tell my stories
Because I am resilient
I am able to still be kind to everyone
Because I persevere
I am able to continue to work hard
Because I am kind
I am able to practice empathy
Because I am self sufficient
I am able to be generous
Because I am understanding
I am able to understand others
Because I am humble
I am able to avoid ignorance
Because I am selfless
I am able to put others first
Because I am brave, I am able to keep fighting… And because I love myself, I am able to take care of ME… and because I am able to take care of me, I am able to be a fierce & strong mother to my son!

°°°
Life has taught me many lessons, and here I am to tell my stories! We All Fall Down, but what defines our character How We rise above!

☆Tryst☆

The Silence of the Night

image

In the Silence of the night… I see that storms don’t last forever ~
●●●

The Silence of the night
Has me feeling free
Thinking of yesterday
And all the chaos you created
I wondered each & everyday
What parts I played in it all
Yet, once I removed you
The silence came…
The peace
The quiet
The stillness of happiness
The darkness was washed away
With the rain…
Suddenly you were gone
And all my suffering went with you
In the silence of the night
I saw my life
Alone
And it is beautiful
Anyone looking in…
Can see plain as day
The chaos was always you
And I get to walk away with my head held high
As I
Was just your excuse
So what is it now…
Because now we are apart
And my sky is full of light
And the darkness left with you
In the silence of the night
Im smiling in the quiet
Spaces I call home
And storms don’t last forever
I am happy alone

☆Tryst☆

Embracing The Day

Embracing The Day ~>
••••••••••••••••••••••••••

image

The moments of my
Morning,
The beginning of my
Day…
Breathing in the
World,
Not a word
I need to say…
Blissfully taking in
The freshness all around
Sun peeking over
The sparkling dew
On the grass thats on the ground…
Thinking of my yesterday,
Of all that I’ve been through…
Wondering if you’re missing,
The things I miss of you…
The ups & downs we experience…
Constantly moving our hearts,
Are we still connected,
When we are miles apart…
The moments of my
Morning,
Remind me I am alive…
And all the things Im seeking,
Some things I left behind…
Even looking forward
Moving from day to day…
I will embrace this life
In every single way.

~ Think.Speak.Tryst.~

The Gift of Sight … & Other Mindless Ramblings

2a6c6860d077ba0224be74a37918cf2d

The Gift of Sight … & Other Mindless Ramblings

Today I read a story …

I just read a blog post about a man who needs to get glasses for the first time in his life. I read it, it was a cute, little life story. Not HUGE, or pivotal in any way. Nor was it too sad or incredibly tragic. It was just, a simple event that has taken place in a mans life that is new and he will need to adjust to somewhat.

I posted in the comments about how it made me feel reading this. The writer probably could care less, but that’s ok. It’s interesting how writing a little piece about having to get glasses for the first time in life, when read by the many different souls & lives of others, and takes us all to such different places.

First it made me think how nice it would be to have ‘that’ to adjust to right now in life. I relate to this because I too have to go through this life adjustment, which is not a choice mf mine, it is a forced change. Some change is fun because we may choose the new thing in life. But then there are the other changes, the adjustments that we get, from life, in life and by life, that we have not chosen at all.

Mine is having to adjust to my brother being gone. See, my best friend, forever life companion since age 3 when he was born, my brother, my family, my only sibling, my blood, the ‘guy’ version of me was killed a year and a half ago. I am not adjusted … yet … don’t know if I ever will be. It’s the most confusing pain I have ever felt. And the life adjustment to not having a brother after having one my whole life, it is all I know, sucks. It’s so painful there are no words to describe.

I commented how nice it would be if I could ‘trade life lists’ with someone. I can’t say who cause I would NOT wish what I am feeling on anyone in the world … So really, I wouldn’t want to trade, but toss nice out and get someone elses, list, of things I have to adjust to cause life says so and I have no choice otherwise. Ah …

The other thing that this makes me think of is … because of my brother, who donated his ‘gifts’ when he was taken from us, someone who was blind can now see because he was given my brothers eyes.

I cried when I got the letter.

Somewhere in this world, someone is seeing through my little brothers eyes. It is a beautiful thing, a rare and precious gift to give and to be given, and It is also very sad and weird.

People get lost in their own lives so much that they are blind and ignorant to some of the people who may be ‘surviving’ right along with them.  I walk this world and I bump into people I know, and people forget that I have a hole in my heart, daily, that suffocates me. And people wonder what is wrong … Someone has my brothers eyes and someone else on this earth killed my brother and took him from me forever. My loss was someone else’s gain. For that I am grateful … but also sad for my loss … sad is an understatement … and I don’t care what people ‘think’ anymore.

I do hope that people appreciate their lives in simplicity.

Be grateful for having to adjust to wearing glasses.

Somewhere, someone just lost their eyes forever.

Somewhere, someone has to adjust to being blind, or cripple, or adjust to living their life suddenly without their dearly loved one.

This is NOT a message to anyone in particular either. I am only using the story I read, of the man who told about his life event of getting glasses, as the catalyst to what got me thinking of these other things. And how words are full of meaning … and so completely different depending on the person.

 eb292df035c105d1251d11220d2a2e09

January 2014

*Feeling very aware this evening.*

I have been so busy with work and life’s other things lately, that I have not written much on Tryst at all. I have not wanted to share too much these past 8 months. (Wow, that long) I am a free, light and loving soul who can’t just write and write about the one sadness that is plaguing me so terribly. Who cares about what I’m going through and I would not want to go back and read it again, so, yes … in my Tryst absence, I truly miss my care-free life I had when I still had my brother, but everything has changed. Everything has changed. I have changed. I am trying to get back to me … and people just do not understand … how hard it is … to wake up every day with this reality slapping you in the face and stabbing you in the heart.

Truth … it does feel good to write right now … regardless of how ridiculous or pointless or repetitive or redundant my words are … they are still mine and this is what I feel like saying right now.

***

imagesCA7G9C0Y

 
©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Sharing the Fortune: High School Teacher Turned Multi-Millionaire: It Works! – Forbes

http://www.forbes.com/sites/karstenstrauss/2013/11/26/high-school-teacher-turned-multi-millionaire-it-works/

Here is an incredible article on my Business from home opportunity that is litterally changing my life! While I am prepairing to leave my current city and relocate, this is all a REAL possibility for me because of my ItWorks Business!

image

Part of the joy in this business is the ability to give the opportunity to anyone who wants it! As well as providing a wonderful line of products that not only WORK→they help people look & feel better about themselves! We promote healthy changes to your life, we have wonderful supplements to boost health, we have wraps for the body to tighten & tone skin, facial wraps that are litterally like having a face lift & losing up to 10 years, wrinkles & fine lines GONE! Loose skin is a thing of the past! With ItWorks, we offer affordable product that is painless and best of all … IT WORKS! IT WORKS!

We don’t call it ItWorks for nothin!!!

We are always looking to expand and bring on Distributors in new areas! Our business is so busy & successful, we need the help! We need more Distributors!

image

If you have been wanting to add a few hundred or a few thousand to your monthly income, then this is your opportunity knocking …

image

image

I have had a hard year, with the death of my brother and going on with my life without him, it has been heartbreaking. But in joining the ItWorks Family and getting MY Skinny Wrap Business, it has given me back so much! I have made some incredible friends, I have helped people lose weight and inches, tightening & toning skin, and improving people’s all around health .. it is so rewarding!! My husband and I have put some serious money away for our move to Sunny Florida next year .. to take with me my ItWorks Skinny Wrap Business to continue to watch it grow & build, sharing with the world my wonderful, life changing products and giving others the opportunity to do this too …

image

What else does this? Its incredible! It works because it works! I can get you a wrap today!!! Just ask me …

image

image

image

And if you are looking for something else … more income for you & your family … from a DEBT FREE Company … Where people, myself included, are personally making great income, building a business, making friendships, having fun, helping people look & feel better … giving my life purpose & meaning again in the absence of my brother … if you want any of these things … then ItWorks is what you’ve been waiting for to knock on your door!!!

image

You can EMAIL me at: itworksskinny@zoho.com with questions, comments or concerns!!!

Plus, join now for FREE→ask me how→I have a ONE TIME INCENTIVE to bring this business TO YOU, and waive the ONE TIME investment cost of $99→So if you would like to take advantage of that, contact me quickly!!!! This incentive won’t last long!!!

image

Start 2014 with your own business from home and build something incredible for you and your family.

image

Health, Wealth & Happiness!!! Made possible from Mark Pentecost, a high school teacher with a dream … and a business structure that is simple & fun!!!

♥Jen

***

~ Tryst Publication ~

What Happens Next?

“Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the human heart can hold.” – Jan of ‘icallmyselfearthgirl’

I am so glad I found this blog space. I have been given another little gift of written treasures from a beautiful spirit who is sharing her light with the world.

In this post, you will be enlightened to an issue of great importance that many of us ignore. But if we continue to turn our heads, what will happen next? What are we doing to love and nurture our Earth? What will we do to change?

Enjoy,
Soulshine always …
Jen

WHAT A HEART CAN HOLD

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to live through a transition of enormous significance?

Would you be aware every day that radical transformation is taking place?

earth-64165_150

Logic tells me that we would notice changes all around us. Yet, my experience is telling me this is not true. Right now, the earth we inhabit is undergoing rapid climate change and, although, we hear the term everyday, most of us do not notice much of a difference.  But a few people are taking notice and trying to get the rest of us to pay attention.

person-207786_150

Roy Scranton is one of these people. Those who scoff at climate change as something that only hippy-dippy tree-huggers care about might be surprised to learn that Scranton is a veteran who served a tour in Iraq during the early years of the Invasion. In his recent opinion piece for The Stone, he tries…

View original post 695 more words

Mother’s Tears

From the talented depths of a beautiful mind, showering us with one of the beautiful elements of Mother Earth, her rain and all it’s healing power … yet, through it’s cleansing, we see washing away the sin of man, the dirt we leave on the streets, and the things left to carry in out hearts …
There are many reasons for rain … and in conversation with this dear friend of mine, we found ourselves sharing a view … So I wanted to share that with you …
Enjoy this beautiful piece on rain, let it wash away any moment of pain. XO~Jen

JMC813

depression

A single tear falls to rinse clean the land

Wash away the destruction by mankind’s hand

The time has arrived to acknowledge her pleas

As another tear drops to cleanse all her seas

 

Our protector of planetary perfection she cries

As our exquisite bestowal of residence dies

The direct consequence of oblivious neglect

Ripping open the skies with greenhouse effect

 

Earth is burned and blistered by a furious sun

Our population’s global desecration must be undone

Rivers, lakes, and oceans fill with caustic acid rain

We finally unite to end our magnificent mother’s pain

 

Now with eyes open wide to our home slowly dying

Once and for all put a stop to our dear lady’s crying

Live life anew in reverence of the place of our birth

Brings hope and mercy from our proud Mother Earth

View original post