ღ Heart Drops ღ

 

 

Heart Drops

 

ღ

 

 Suck in a breath

I choke for air

My heart drops to the floor

 

***

There is rain all around

Thunder deafens my ears

I’m down on the floor

I’ve been down for years

 

***

I can’t feel my fingers

Legs don’t seem to work

Pointless to call for help

Take this pain, it hurts

 

***

Don’t know where to run

I’ve been running for so long

I Can’t see the sun

Nothing feels like love

 

***

Wind hits my face

Bitter cold dose of reality

Bad always comes in numbers

I pretend I’m somewhere else

 

***

Fighting for the kindness

Losing the battle everyday

Family is a four letter word

I’ve got no reason to stay

 

***

You finally win

My tears fall from my eyes

Broken heart drops to the floor

Never to beat, anymore

 

~J. Lefever~

(05/09/13)

 

*****

 

ღ

 

 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

 

 

 

 

 

 

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House of Blues

House of Blues ♪

 

Etched in the cobblestone streets

Were years of forgotten stories

Mine may be lost already

Lost in the nothingness we call

Yesterday

But forever I will remember this nothing

As I was everywhere the light touched, I

Became the night air

At night, you could hear the trumpets

On the streets of the surrounding place

Hopeful souls would come to hear

And get lost in the darkness of the Jazz

I sat at my window sill

On the nights they made their music

Never distracted by the other noises

Of life

Not when the Blues crept its way

Through the night air

To reach me, only me

Awaiting at my window

Underneath the star sprinkled sky

Midnight at its finest

The trumpets sang about my sadness

All the reasons my tears fell

All the way down, to the cobble stone streets

But that’s just how the music hits me

Right in the center of my soul

Tender notes and beautiful words

Penetrate my innocence

Reminding me how breakable I actually am

Telling me that no one dares to try

To understand, even see

The reasons why my tender heart bleeds

So I get lost inside the Blues

At night, with the trumpets

I become the Blues

Infinite sensitivity

My own melancholy madness

Music take me away

As my tears fall like rain

Tiny droplets, pieces of me

Cleansing my soul to the sound

Of painful music

As I sit and memorize

What it feels like inside

To be in The House of Blues

Without ever having entered it at all

 

♪  

 

~J. Lefever~

(04/19/13)

 

*****

 

 

 

ღ

 

 

©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

identify

identify

 

If only one

word to tell

I watch you by

I, identify you

there, in the wake

of my eye

I’ll follow you

until time

is no more

defeated by you

once, you stand

at my door…

 

~J. Lefever~

(04/09/13)

 

I wrote this yesterday… these words came to me, somehow, as I drove down the street… I scribbled them onto a piece of paper, and I’ve been staring at them trying to decipher what they mean… why this chain of words came to me, in the midst of my day… yesterday…

 

********

ღ

 

 

©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

 

 

Yesterday’s Shadow

Yesterday’s Fear

Uninvited

But you came anyway

Maybe at one point, I

May have welcomed you

Maybe I was suffering from a

Momentary lack of reason

Maybe I made excuses

Whatever they were

I did my best to make the best

Out of you

Time was at a standstill

As you sucked the life out of my soul

Deceit was in every word

In every smile, in every night

I portrayed contentment with you

You poisoned me

You made me sick inside

The temple of my soul showed

Fatigue and sadness

You are the plague that came to

Destroy anything good that you found

I was your fortress

Tame & unguarded

You made me uncomfortable

Inside the walls of my very own home

Home, such a thing of vision

Such an imaginary place

I think I once knew

Long before the villain came

Imprisoning me

Suffocating my soul

Torturing my energy

Drowning my light

Burning me senseless

Here I am

Finally free from all that

Sickening madness

Some I allowed

Most I was unable to overpower

Yet, I still think I won

When the villain left

The chains on my heart broke away

I came to the surface of the water

The burns were cooled with rain

The torture just a thought

Although the memories remain

Tucked deep, down in the basement

Of my mind

They are only imprints

Of a time when I was

Unable to see

The shinning of my own soul

The light inside my own eyes

The personal power I already had

The beautiful identity I possessed inside

I don’t really know the reason I ran

To something so dark

And destructive

But whatever I thought I was lacking

And seeking to find in another

Was only the mistake of my

Youthful mind

Telling me I needed to belong

Somewhere different

I clearly didn’t belong

My youthful mind made the mistake

That I needed to create

An identity

That I was not enough

All on my own

And in that seeking

I searched for my very own

Spirit, a strength from within

Years passed

I now walk down the street

Away from the time

When I stood

Face to face

With my own enemy

And in the end

The final conclusion

Mistakes were just lessons

Fear had strengthened me

I had won

Needing nothing else

Just my very own mind

I got my soul back

And I get to be me

~ J. Lefever ~

(03/22/13)

 

ღ

©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication