ღ Heart Drops ღ

Heart Drops
 Suck in a breath
I choke for air
My heart drops to the floor
There is rain all around
Thunder deafens my ears
I’m down on the floor
I’ve been down for years
I can’t feel my fingers
Legs don’t seem to work
Pointless to call for help
Take this pain, it hurts
Don’t know where to run
I’ve been running for so long
I Can’t see the sun
Nothing feels like love
Wind hits my face
Bitter cold dose of reality
Bad always comes in numbers
I pretend I’m somewhere else
Fighting for the kindness
Losing the battle everyday
Family is a four letter word
I’ve got no reason to stay
You finally win
My tears fall from my eyes
Broken heart drops to the floor
Never to beat, anymore
~J. Lefever~
 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

House of Blues


House of Blues
Etched in the cobblestone streets
Were years of forgotten stories
Mine may be lost already
Lost in the nothingness we call
But forever I will remember this nothing
As I was everywhere the light touched, I
Became the night air
At night, you could hear the trumpets
On the streets of the surrounding place
Hopeful souls would come to hear
And get lost in the darkness of the Jazz
I sat at my window sill
On the nights they made their music
Never distracted by the other noises
Of life
Not when the Blues crept its way
Through the night air
To reach me, only me
Awaiting at my window
Underneath the star sprinkled sky
Midnight at its finest
The trumpets sang about my sadness
All the reasons my tears fell
All the way down, to the cobble stone streets
But that’s just how the music hits me
Right in the center of my soul
Tender notes and beautiful words
Penetrate my innocence
Reminding me how breakable I actually am
Telling me that no one dares to try
To understand, even see
The reasons why my tender heart bleeds
So I get lost inside the Blues
At night, with the trumpets
I become the Blues
Infinite sensitivity
My own melancholy madness
Music take me away
As my tears fall like rain
Tiny droplets, pieces of me
Cleansing my soul to the sound
Of painful music
As I sit and memorize
What it feels like inside
To be in The House of Blues
Without ever having entered it at all
~J. Lefever~
©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication




If only one

word to tell

I watch you by

I, identify you

there, in the wake

of my eye

I’ll follow you

until time

is no more

defeated by you

once, you stand

at my door…


~J. Lefever~



I wrote this yesterday… these words came to me, somehow, as I drove down the street… I scribbled them onto a piece of paper, and I’ve been staring at them trying to decipher what they mean… why this chain of words came to me, in the midst of my day… yesterday…




©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Yesterday’s Shadow


Yesterday’s Fear


But you came anyway

Maybe at one point, I

May have welcomed you

Maybe I was suffering from a

Momentary lack of reason

Maybe I made excuses

Whatever they were

I did my best to make the best

Out of you

Time was at a standstill

As you sucked the life out of my soul

Deceit was in every word

In every smile, in every night

I portrayed contentment with you

You poisoned me

You made me sick inside

The temple of my soul showed

Fatigue and sadness

You are the plague that came to

Destroy anything good that you found

I was your fortress

Tame & unguarded

You made me uncomfortable

Inside the walls of my very own home

Home, such a thing of vision

Such an imaginary place

I think I once knew

Long before the villain came

Imprisoning me

Suffocating my soul

Torturing my energy

Drowning my light

Burning me senseless

Here I am

Finally free from all that

Sickening madness

Some I allowed

Most I was unable to overpower

Yet, I still think I won

When the villain left

The chains on my heart broke away

I came to the surface of the water

The burns were cooled with rain

The torture just a thought

Although the memories remain

Tucked deep, down in the basement

Of my mind

They are only imprints

Of a time when I was

Unable to see

The shinning of my own soul

The light inside my own eyes

The personal power I already had

The beautiful identity I possessed inside

I don’t really know the reason I ran

To something so dark

And destructive

But whatever I thought I was lacking

And seeking to find in another

Was only the mistake of my

Youthful mind

Telling me I needed to belong

Somewhere different

I clearly didn’t belong

My youthful mind made the mistake

That I needed to create

An identity

That I was not enough

All on my own

And in that seeking

I searched for my very own

Spirit, a strength from within

Years passed

I now walk down the street

Away from the time

When I stood

Face to face

With my own enemy

And in the end

The final conclusion

Mistakes were just lessons

Fear had strengthened me

I had won

Needing nothing else

Just my very own mind

I got my soul back

And I get to be me

~ J. Lefever ~



©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication