Tag Archives: Defeated
House of Blues
identify
identify
If only one
word to tell
I watch you by
I, identify you
there, in the wake
of my eye
I’ll follow you
until time
is no more
defeated by you
once, you stand
at my door…
~J. Lefever~
(04/09/13)
I wrote this yesterday… these words came to me, somehow, as I drove down the street… I scribbled them onto a piece of paper, and I’ve been staring at them trying to decipher what they mean… why this chain of words came to me, in the midst of my day… yesterday…
********
Yesterday’s Shadow
Yesterday’s Fear
Uninvited
But you came anyway
Maybe at one point, I
May have welcomed you
Maybe I was suffering from a
Momentary lack of reason
Maybe I made excuses
Whatever they were
I did my best to make the best
Out of you
Time was at a standstill
As you sucked the life out of my soul
Deceit was in every word
In every smile, in every night
I portrayed contentment with you
You poisoned me
You made me sick inside
The temple of my soul showed
Fatigue and sadness
You are the plague that came to
Destroy anything good that you found
I was your fortress
Tame & unguarded
You made me uncomfortable
Inside the walls of my very own home
Home, such a thing of vision
Such an imaginary place
I think I once knew
Long before the villain came
Imprisoning me
Suffocating my soul
Torturing my energy
Drowning my light
Burning me senseless
Here I am
Finally free from all that
Sickening madness
Some I allowed
Most I was unable to overpower
Yet, I still think I won
When the villain left
The chains on my heart broke away
I came to the surface of the water
The burns were cooled with rain
The torture just a thought
Although the memories remain
Tucked deep, down in the basement
Of my mind
They are only imprints
Of a time when I was
Unable to see
The shinning of my own soul
The light inside my own eyes
The personal power I already had
The beautiful identity I possessed inside
I don’t really know the reason I ran
To something so dark
And destructive
But whatever I thought I was lacking
And seeking to find in another
Was only the mistake of my
Youthful mind
Telling me I needed to belong
Somewhere different
I clearly didn’t belong
My youthful mind made the mistake
That I needed to create
An identity
That I was not enough
All on my own
And in that seeking
I searched for my very own
Spirit, a strength from within
Years passed
I now walk down the street
Away from the time
When I stood
Face to face
With my own enemy
And in the end
The final conclusion
Mistakes were just lessons
Fear had strengthened me
I had won
Needing nothing else
Just my very own mind
I got my soul back
And I get to be me
~ J. Lefever ~
(03/22/13)