Tag Archives: Despair
Happy Paralysis
Happy Paralysis
I am tired. Tired of feeling this way. Tired of searching for total happiness. Am I on a goose chase? Running around silly stupid, with this empty, black hole in my heart? While the angels try to tell me I’ll never be right? I’m paralyzed, stuck. Trapped in this place. Poetry stuck on repeat, again, redundant… Shall I surrender defeat? I’m so tired of missing him I just want him home, back with us. So, I can smile, be normal, happy again… Instead of paralyzed in… This same old shit I’m feeling within…
~ J. Lefever ~
(02/24/13)
I am just… so… tired of feeling this way. I get angry at life, why does life have to happen. I don’t want to have to feel any of this. I just want things back to the way they were… the way they were…
Nothing, I…
Indecent Intentions
Red Rain
red rain
It came out of nowhere
Rained all day
I wrestled with it
Fighting its presence
Stubborn to accept
That the rain was red
Something I have never seen
Yet I’m looking at it today
I stare in disbelief
I want to run away
When life happens
And a truth is told
Bringing your worst fear to life
A tragic happening
Disbelief is what you want
A bad dream, not reality
You wish it to be a lie
But the truth of life looks at you
Directly in the eye
It came out of nowhere
Rained red all day
~~ J. Lefever ~~
(02/07/13)
This piece is about believing. Believing in something that you never thought could be real.
This piece is about acceptence. Accepting a truth that faces you…
Shhhhh in the Silence
Tucked in a corner
My shadow is hidden
Don’t speak or utter a sound
In the silence
My spirit falls to the ground
Lost in the dark
Scared of my truth that
I don’t want to face
Brutal realities & lies
Events have taken place
I have no control
No power to change
The devastating tragedy be
What brings my tears
Of why he was taken from me
In the shadows I go
Please don’t look my way
Vulnerable & mad
I see only in my view
The red that comes from what I had
My mirror is gone
The other part of me
I search everyday
With empty hands
Darkness is all I see
As not to fall apart
Everyday at the seams
In the shadows I go
Vengeance & revenge
I hide, I can’t show
I scream in the silence
Shhhh says my heart
I’m torn from any other
No substitute will suffice
I yearn for my brother.
~~ J. Lefever~~
(02/06/13)