Change – Daily Reflection on Tryst – 10/21/13

Daily Reflection on Tryst

October 21, 2013

‘Change your thoughts, Change your world’ – Unknown


Good Morning my favorite group of people!! How long has it been since I’ve written a Daily Reflection? It has been way too long!! Here is where I feel the need to explain myself in great detail, as to why I stopped writing Daily Reflections for you and for myself, and then follow that with an apology for my lack of motivation, lack of inspiration, for my laziness and for my disbelief in my self and thinking that no one really gives a shit about the things that I try to reflect upon, the things that I try to help myself (and others) with by expanding the mind a little, the thinking outside the box and trying to create healthy patterns amongst all of our necessary and unnecessary ones.

Well, I don’t really need to explain. Life just had me doing other things. My need to inspire and motivate both myself and others is still here, and the beauty of writing and blogging, is that I can pick up right where I left off.

I also don’t need to apologize because I have not done anything wrong. And nothing is more irritating or a waste of time than an empty apology. There is no reason to ever say ‘sorry’ unless you have justifiably done something that needs an apology before moving forward.

This is not one of those situations.

And what about my lack of inspiration, motivation or have I been lazy? Nope. I still have those things, I was just channeling them in other areas. And I am far from lazy. In fact, for those who know me, or keep in touch with me, know that I have about a million things going on … good things (my businesses & work), sad things (the trial) and fun things (my little hobbies & projects).

Today I choose to reflect on the fantastic quote I posted above. I am sure that many of you have heard that quote at one time or another. It is quite well-known and it is spoken by many who understand the meaning of it.

When you find yourself thinking negatively, about yourself, or others, or life, or the things you have, or the things you don’t have, or anything you can think of under the moon, then you will notice that most things about your day will also be negative.

Do you ever notice how much better you feel when you smile? Did you know that it takes more energy and more muscles in your face to frown? Did you know that wearing a smile actually reduces stress or stressful situations? Did you know that this is all based on the core of your frame of mind?

Well, now you do know!!

This is absolutely true!! When you change the way you think, and change it in a positive way, you will notice that life becomes less stressful, less painful and easier to deal with!!!

So, today, make a change in the way you are thinking about a situation. If there is something going on that you have been dreading, or avoiding or wishing you didn’t have to do, change your thoughts!! What will you gain from doing it? What can you learn? There is always something positive you can pull out of every single situation. So change your thinking and just do it!!

You can also try smiling today. If you work with people, smile at them. Notice that people smile back when someone is outwardly friendly to them. I smile a lot. People notice in my pictures and when I am at work. It always feels better to smile. But I also wear a frown sometimes, I am human after all, and so this reflection is for me, to remind myself that it is always better to smile through the hard times and to change my ‘stinking thinking’!!! That shitty ‘stinking thinking’ gets us no where!!!

Be the change … Be positive … Smile at the world today!!!

XO ~ Jen




©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication


One Two Three

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One, Two, Three


I am a complicated spirit

Yet, I find in all my philosophy

I am more definable than most

I am not ordinary, or boring, or standard

I was built with many colors

I have things that can spark a flame

Resulting in an emotional fire

Yes, my deepest feeling can burn me badly

I feel things more intensely inside

I get quite lost and curious of

Those who don’t seem to feel at all


I can be a million smiles

The most joyous soul you see all day

This happiness is energy in me

Visible to those who come my way


But if my path, in the course of my day                  

Crosses with something that causes me pain

Inside it hits me like a million blades

Damaging my heart like a hurricane rain


Then there is the side, I keep tucked far away

The side that I protect from anyone but me

It’s sensitive and sweet, but dark and broken

It’s the side that I don’t let anyone see…


That, I feel, is my one, two, three

And even though the energy may shift

I understand the moments I experience

As I believe they are my virtuous gifts.


~ J. Lefever ~




 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication





The Devil’s Room

The Devil’s Room


There is nothing to say about now

I am in the dark again

My body shakes

I am afraid


I swore I would never

Visit the devil again

But I did

And now he won’t let me go


With his cold hands on my wrists

A strength of which

I am too weak to pull away

So I cry as he holds me in his presence


Far far away

For anyone alive to hear my cries

I am silenced by defeat

It is here, I will die


Comfort and warmth

Are a long, distant memory

Foreign to my current surroundings

Will I ever be home?


I belong to the world

But I’m tired of wandering

Years I have searched

I am ready to belong somewhere


Inside of the Devil’s room

Walls dripping with my fear

Echos of my past are screaming

Lyrics of which berate me deeply


My own sins brought me here

Weak along the way

My mission so completely unclear

Pride was stripped my his cold, dead grasp


The death of my spirit

Has yet to visit me

I fight to keep it away

I am surviving on my hopeful emotion


Trembling with angry energy

I break away from the Devils force

Pounding on the structure that entraps me

I stand to show I refuse to be taken


~J. Lefever~

Written on a day unknown


This is an older piece I wrote some years ago…

I found it in my journals… scribbled in pencil on the pages of my yesterday

I thought I’d share it to show the deep effects that addiction had on my spirit

Like being trapped, held down by a strength much stronger than me… With hope almost impossible to find… but… somewhere inside of me, the refusal to give up.



 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication






Ghost Emotion


Ghost Emotion
In the grey and white world
Are the shadows of ghosts
Ghosts of our emotions, left
To haunt the space between
Here and there
They haunt the vessels on the sea
Buildings and sidewalks of the cities
Trapped inside the paint on canvases
And enclosed in the lyrics of
Music and poetry
Our spirits are meant to feel things
It is in the way we are built
Once we feel, things pass along
With the ever-changing world
Not one moment mimics another
Time sets us free
From things that are regular and standard
Emotions are not tiny
They are bursts of energy
Fueled by the temples of our souls
Inside we are personal
Shedding shadows of emotion
Everywhere we go
I am haunted
By the things that I feel
Extraordinary pieces of time
I have been given
These ghost emotions are mine
As I move forward in time
My life, as unique as any other
Falling off my back
As I walk on for the soul of my brother
Bricks build houses
A poem is written in words
There are colors to paint the sky above
All of this shows my entire devotion
Inside my black and white world
I leave shadows of my ghost emotion
~J. Lefever~
 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Daily Reflection on Tryst (03/25/13)

Daily Reflection (03/25/13)



 It is one heck of a good Monday!! Oh yes!! It has been a minute since I’ve said that!! There is no fake in this day… well, there’s no fake in me ever… I am just having a super great Monday!!


You know how I’ve said before, that what you tell yourself about your mood, in your mind, becomes real? Like if you feel sadness, you are going to be sad. If you feed joy, you are going to be happy. It makes sense. Right? Whatever kind of mood you find yourself in, if you need to change it, give energy to the kind of day you want to be having! Simple wisdom. BIG difference in your day!! It’s all about the power of your mind baby!! What are you feeding yourself today?


Today, lets reflect a little on energy. Energy can be converted from one form to another, but it cannot be created or destroyed. (That’s an interesting fact, energy cannot be destroyed. So, when one dies, where do we go? We must go somewhere because we are energy and energy can’t be destroyed.. hum.. another time, another post)


Good energy can be contagious!! Bad energy, no one wants to be around. Well, unless you’re a miserable person, in which misery loves company, but no one loves the company of a miserable person. So, don’t be miserable Tryst peeps!! Reach inside and find your good, positive, happy vibes and get some good energy flowing into your day! I swear.. I’m walking proof that frowns can be turned upside down & you can wake up smiling to the thought of your day!! It is all in the power of your mind, what you are feeding yourself, and your thoughts, and the energy you have going on!!


I know that by the end of winter, those of us who live in a place that has a cold, snowy winter, we can easily become seasonally depressed, stricken with fatigue and just plain exhausted!! Use your motivation for the coming of the new season and all the things you want to get done, to help pull you out of this exhaustion!!


Word of the Day : Prexhausted – This is when you are exhausted just by thinking about something. Like the planning of a wedding, or finals coming up in college… (Thank you Urban Dictionary for the word of the day)


If you are working yourself into prexhaustion of any kind, squash it!! Channel good energy!! And if you need help, or a boost, or just some Soulshine, come find me!!


I hope you all have a great rest of your Monday!!


~ Jen


Tryst Thought : I am enough. (That’s it! Period! That is my thought to leave you with! There is a lot of power in that sentence! Try standing in the mirror and looking yourself in the eye, and saying those 3 words. Seriously… try it!! It’s very moving!)


©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication


Daily Reflection on Tryst (03/23/13)

Daily Reflection (03/23/13)


Yes, I stopped caring…

 It’s a sweet saturday here in the city. Sweet cause that’s what I will make of it. I am in the position this morning to make a really crappy day for myself, mostly because I’m at work, going on like an hour of sleep! Needless to say, I am very tired! I tossed & turned last night, trying to muffle out the distractions in my house and in my mind… and I just couldn’t fall to sleep.


I am a person who truly needs and deeply enjoyed a good nights rest! So, when I’m tired and under-slept, I can tend to be a bit cranky. So with that as my amo, why I choose to make my day nice & sweet? Because it is a proven fact that happy energy takes less effort than mad energy. I swear! It’s totally true!! Think about it… When you’re mad, you explode with energy, and not the good kind that people want to be around! When you’re sweet and lovely, while you still have energy, it is just focused the right way, and people love being around that kind of energy! I speak truth & wisdom here… take notes!!


So I got my sweet, sleepy ass to work this morning and I’ve been lazily catching up on some reading & writing. Not a bad morning this is turning out to be really… I love that, because that’s how I made it happen! …we don’t give ourselves enough credit in life, we are in control of so much more than we realize at times… huh!


This brings me to my reflection today…


I am thinking about someone who has taken a turn to the arrogant side. I have to say, I’m disappointed. I connected with this person, and we had great conversations. This went on for a couple of months. Of course, my little gullible heart believed all the words that person spoke to me and now sadly, I’m feeling like a fool. Oh well… at least I am real with people.


So, was it all an act? One day, this person just stopped talking to me. Like they are ‘too-good’ to answer a comment or reply, or whatever we normally did to communicate & share. One thing that comes with my sensitive soul, is that when a person turns out to be someone different than I thought, I’m always so so so disappointed and hurt. I take it so so so personally… well, Jen…


I stopped taking it personally. I stopped caring!! And it feels good!!


I think, OK, I’m glad I know now that this person is a fake, arrogant, douche bag!! I don’t have to waste any more of my time talking to them, and they don’t deserve my sweet time anyway!! In this situation, it’s perfectly OK and good NOT to care!!


Have a great Saturday Tryst friends… Don’t let anyone take your sweet and make you sour!!


~ Jen


Tryst Thought : Don’t waste your time wondering or being upset about someone who sucks!! People may turn out to be someone other than you expected. Most times it’s their loss, not yours, if you are the genuine person in the situation. Don’t waste a minute..


See… for me… as soon as I finish this piece… I am done, I don’t have to sorry about it anymore… Gonna have a lazy Saturday at home after work and pray that we don’t get 8 inches of snow like the news has predicted… (we are actually in a winter storm warning again!! how many blizzards are we getting this year? and has Hell froze over? WTF? Where is spring… shit…



©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication