Hollow

c

Hollow

An empty space

Lingers in its silence

A dark corner haunts

Places I try to avoid

People’s faces

Are blank and cold

Everything I knew

Has left my reality

Leaving behind

My hollow soul

-J. Lefever

(12/11/13)

***

©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

A Warriors Heart

As of recent, I began exchanging words with an incredible person and writer. Visit his blog space, JMC813, to see for yourself his brilliant way with words and ability to express even the deepest of emotion.
Life has a way of handing us very special gifts. Only if we are truly ‘awake’, do we realize when we are being given something, or someone, that is meant to connect with our lives and our souls. Sharing the experiences, lessons and wisdom’s in life is a virtue that we both give and receive. I am enjoying every minute spent and every word shared with this wonderful person. We connect in many similar ways, and our differences are what accents and compliments our Tryst! I have enjoyed writing this duet with him, as it is his first, and I hope that there are more to come … So here is the first piece ever written by us, by Jen & John of Tryst & JMC813.
Inside these words, deep with in each emotional expression … lies the depth of true events, those of massive impact, ending with the gain of strength and a conclusion of self accomplishment. I hope you enjoy …
A Poetic Duet written by JMC813 & Think. Speak. Tryst.
A Warriors Heart
untitled11
Scattered about like a million glittering stars
Are the misdirected pieces of what we were
Standing in a pool of my obvious redemption
Bleeding to know the answers, Yet I’m so unsure
A myriad of questions leave my thoughts unsettled
Frantic assessments hold my voice, I cannot speak
My mind it moves a thousand miles in seemingly a second
Do I really want to know? Is resolution what I truly seek?
In the warm light that is becoming day
I brush away the dirt of my darkened past
Mind is flooded with a million wandering war stories
Heartache, takes my breath, I begin to need you at last
At last and again, for this all feels so familiar
Past battles lost and won, my mind chases to remember
The times and places of our war-torn self realities
Scattered in ashes lost in time, memories burn like embers
I decide to walk, past the reality of what I once was
Knowing that I’ll carry my scars, until the last days of life
Cloaked in what has turned to great wisdom, contrary to common belief
Look into my heart, my eyes, inside my soul, I am finally free from  strife
The strides that push beyond the realm of cruelty self-imposed
Flaws shown boldly bring it home, this point not light to make
The parade of insecurities un shelved, knowledge given to find  direction
Souls are bared, and hearts are freed, for yours, mine, and others  sake
This is where I stand to speak, telling you of all my glories
Although it rains inside of my mind, I’m here today, I’ll never rewind
Glorious you, who came to be, take my wisdom, for all you see
For I am a warrior, peaceful at heart, I will continue to fight, till death do us part.
Written by JMC813 & Jen on Tryst
September 2013
For more of JMC’s brilliant vision FOLLOW this LINK to View one of my personal Favorites ‘Ode to a Sinner’
*****
 17099673555870185_Shl4vEpo_f
 
©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Moving through the Night

I have been blessed with a wonderful soul. Alastair and I have been exchanging words for a few months now, and I have truly enjoyed getting to know this beautiful person. My warm-hearted friend and I have written a duet, it is his first poetic duet and I am honored to have shared this experience with him. Take some time to visit him as well by following this link to ALASTAIRS BLOG!!
 
A Poetic Duet
 
Written by Alastair and Think Speak Tryst
 
imagesCAHM0LDX
 
‘Moving through the Night’
 
I fear as the storm approaches
and night-time falls
I hear your voice from afar,
as to me it calls
 
Through the mist and the fog
I can see the light.
I envision your face, your help,
your warrior’s might
 
The more I approach you
The more I see
The more your hand stretches
Reaching out for me.
 
Remembering the moment
The very first time we spoke
Delicate you
Falling before me
 
In the night air
Down on bruised knees
I can see you
Beginning to bleed
 
I look in your face
Your eyes full of tears
I take your hand
Try to ease your fears
 
Come sit beside me
Under the stars in the sky
You have run far too long
And for many reasons why
 
Let go of the years
Let go of the pain
I will be with you
Tonight in the rain
 
As I give you these words
My promise to you
Darling sweet friend
May your strength pull you through
 
In the chaos of the storm
There is a sudden, soft break
Be calm, precious you
You are not your mistakes
 
Through the mist and the fog
Let us both find our light
Leaving the past far behind
As we travel through the night.
 
Written by Alastair & Jen
 
 
*****
 
imagesCAQLS4P9
 
 
©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Dark Intimidation

Hoping for a little feedback on this piece… I am submitting it for a poetry publication and I had to choose one piece from my collection of poetry and needless to say, I had a hard time. I went with this one for some reasons of my own, but to those who have read my words, I am curious to know… your opinion on this particular piece… Is it too short, too simple, too depressing,  too dark, too vague.. or it is deep, strong, sensitive, sad.. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. ~ Jen

517ddbbdeea800cc9a773cc0f29eef2f

Dark Intimidation

 

Sensitive, fear
Suffocating me
Covers every inch
Harboring me
Scream into its silence, but
No one hears a word
Darkness so thick
It muffles my tiny sound
Making my way
As if I’m in a maze
The puzzle is its chaos
Playing tricks on my mind
Luring me further & further
Down deep, to it’s very core
Obsessed by the challenge…

I find myself again
Without steel, iron or blade, only
Armed with my soul
Intimidated shamefully
Yet I push on through
To find a glimmer of light

In the thickness of you

 

~ J. Lefever ~

March 2012

 

*****

 167829523583932813_VbTtb5rp_b

 
 
©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

The Victim & The Villain

I am going through my poetry and putting together my third manuscript. So, I am compiling all my pieces, reading through them, picking and choosing, and I came across this one. This is a piece that remains one of my favorites… most dear to the painful part of my soul… yesterdays news, but still ever so present in the choices I make… I wanted to share it again… just for fun…
***** 
This is… my most beloved piece. This piece is meant to be read slowly, to get the emotion in each word I chose to tell this story. This is a short story, about me. It is written poetically. I am happy to share it, and hope it is enjoyed and understood by those who read it. This is also the title of a book that I am currently writing… one of my writing projects that is very dear to my heart. This is the story of the Victim and the Villain. ~ J
a83a565e98a06c5b7e423df311992cf6
The Victim & The Villain
I can tell you of days
When I was completely frozen
I can tell you of weeks that went by
And I didn’t even notice
I can tell you of mornings
I would wake up mad
Mad ’cause I was still breathing, still alive
…isn’t that sad?
I can tell you of a lady
Who was once alive in me
She was vibrant, and she smiled
She was what other’s wanted to be
But somehow, in her life, she became
Tragically sad
Things began to happen
Now, She’s a Victim to all things bad
A run of bad luck, for a decade, or so
But she was also the Villain of her story, you know
As much as she tried
To push the darkness away
The Villain within
Would not let her stray
The Villain was strong but
It needed it’s Victim down
And with all of the chaos
The Victim was stuck in her town
Further and further
Did her pure image go
But deep down inside
Her spirit would know
In a time and a place
She could rise up again
And put to rest
Her corruption, her sin
I can tell you of days
When I thought this impossible
I can tell you today
I have become remarkable
Only because
I can see inside
That I was the Victim.. and the Villain
In my very own mind
Playing the taunter
And being taunted by…
The miraculous strength of
Me, Myself, and I…
I can’t tell you who wins
The story of me
The Victim, the Villain, or the saviour to be…
But I am each one
Each integral part
That make up the Victim… and the Villain
Inside of my heart.
~~ J. Lefever ~~
(04/15/012)
*****
sdgaerg
 
 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 

Mountain of Too Much

((If you are offended by the “F” word… please do not read this piece… because I use the “F” word, only once, in this poem))
 
adc218b690d341243a796f3bbc347052
 
Mountain of Too Much
 
Trickling down
The mountain of too much
Were pieces of me
Fallen into the river
Flowing down the
Sensitive stream
Losing my mind
To the chaos of the day
 
At the bottom
Staring up at my climb
I have a long way to go
On this mountain of too much
Facing fear
Confronting my pain
Fighting my past
Remaining sane
You find me
 
Making my way
Through the thickest part of the climb
I have tremendous victories
I save a real sense of pride
Here I go, reaching the next level
When suddenly I fall
I begin to unravel
Have I taken on
Something stronger than I
Am I a fool
For giving this a try
My soul can’t take this
On this mountain of too much
 
A view of the top
I’m beginning to see
The calm of the storm
Is becoming a reality
I have made it far
I have stood tall to my fears
I have handled my shit
For a handful of years
Yet something catches my eye
And I begin to lose my balance
Facing something new, how can I
Frustrated by time, I start to cry
I thought I was there
At the top of my destination
Now I’m falling down again
The enemy of my own creation
It was always me
I was fighting against
Climbing this mountain
Knuckles bleed on my fist
Will I ever climb to the top
Of my mountain of too much
Or is it just too overwhelming, so
I am royally fucked?
 
~J. Lefever~
(04/24/13)
 
*****
 
100184c5e88d0e028e7a645b7fdd5901
 
 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 
 
 
 
 
 

Silent is the Night

Silent is the Night

aca6b643b204c541cedd480f68c2d1ba

 

Silent is the night

As the stars watch me sin

A lonely soul, I wonder

My journey I begin

Elements of the world

Laughing all around me

Wondering why I fear them

Doubting what they see

Inside, I fight the answers

The truth can make me cry

Burns run so deep inside

Why am I alive?

I fight to find my joy

My inner peace and pride

Somethings still hurt so bad

You see me run and hide…

 

~J. Lefever~

Written in April 2013

*****

1b99e5c27923ac01563a4e08fe3e31d9

 
 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 
 

Too Cool To Care

0fe84b2966dbb9dad1dc21c762df5a38

Too Cool To Care
 
Through the confusion
I saw your spirit anyway
I reached out to you
For you to take my hand
You will be safe with me
I will show you how to feel
I will show you love that’s real
It is alright to be who you are
My heart won’t hurt you
I will not leave a scar
 
I truly believed that you were able
To see that love can save
Ones soul
Many years you were rough & brutal
An act to create the illusion
That you are too cool to care…
 
Today you stand before me
A gentle soul indeed
There is no reason to cut me down
Yet you still try to make me bleed
Down on my knees
My soft hands are up in the air
Listen to my honest cries
Why are you too cool to care?
 
Leaving your foot prints
In my body as you kick my side
Standing over me
You shout that I am weak because I hide
You may be right
I do hide things from you
Giving you my all just doesn’t seem fair
With the bruises I hide
Cause you are too cool to care
 
I still give you my truth
Truth in the love that has never died
It is when you are not looking
I hold my eyes and I cry
My words may never be enough
For us to have a love that we share
You still doubt the reality of love
You will always be too cool to care
 
~ J. Lefever ~
This piece was written sometime this year…
 
It has no actual relevance to my life… or maybe it does…
 
*****
 
 
4d094a1b8850773e99232aec76061b1c
 
 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 
 
 
 

A Day Like Any Other ♥

3d9807a418785be5fbea385b9943cca3

A Day Like Any Other…

When the sky tells me

It is going to storm

It whispers it’s soft warning

As if not to frighten me away

 

Just like my kingdom

I have storms inside my soul

Wild and raging with emotion

Unpredictable and out of control

 

It is true that I am guarded

I am free but trapped by something else

An invisible force that is most wicked

Has stolen my every ability to trust

 

As the clouds darken above me

A message of what is to come

Like elements we cannot tame

There is nothing, I’ve come undone

 

I live in constant fear

When I look others in the eye

I’m looking for something decent and pure

So far, others have only made me cry

 

I still think the world is worth my time

But I keep searching for something that I don’t find

It’s more a dream, a wish, a belief

Than the reality of the world I may leave behind

 

It’s like we are all just empty shells

Walking around, in programmed motion

No one really has a functioning soul

We are weak if we show our deepest of emotion

 

~ J. Lefever ~

(04/20/13)

 
 
*****
1b99e5c27923ac01563a4e08fe3e31d9
 
 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

 

 

The Devil’s Room

The Devil’s Room

 a327076568f94468f8aa18879fe73bc2

There is nothing to say about now

I am in the dark again

My body shakes

I am afraid

 

I swore I would never

Visit the devil again

But I did

And now he won’t let me go

 

With his cold hands on my wrists

A strength of which

I am too weak to pull away

So I cry as he holds me in his presence

 

Far far away

For anyone alive to hear my cries

I am silenced by defeat

It is here, I will die

 

Comfort and warmth

Are a long, distant memory

Foreign to my current surroundings

Will I ever be home?

 

I belong to the world

But I’m tired of wandering

Years I have searched

I am ready to belong somewhere

 

Inside of the Devil’s room

Walls dripping with my fear

Echos of my past are screaming

Lyrics of which berate me deeply

 

My own sins brought me here

Weak along the way

My mission so completely unclear

Pride was stripped my his cold, dead grasp

 

The death of my spirit

Has yet to visit me

I fight to keep it away

I am surviving on my hopeful emotion

 

Trembling with angry energy

I break away from the Devils force

Pounding on the structure that entraps me

I stand to show I refuse to be taken

 

~J. Lefever~

Written on a day unknown

 

This is an older piece I wrote some years ago…

I found it in my journals… scribbled in pencil on the pages of my yesterday

I thought I’d share it to show the deep effects that addiction had on my spirit

Like being trapped, held down by a strength much stronger than me… With hope almost impossible to find… but… somewhere inside of me, the refusal to give up.

*****

sdgaerg

 
 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication