Daily Reflection on Tryst (04/10/13)

Daily Reflection (04/10/13)

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Time Management.

 

Rain is falling on Wednesday… Rain falls hard from the sky today. I don’t know what it is about the rain, but it always makes me feel in touch with my artistic expressions. It makes me want to write all day, allowing my heart to speak, and my soul to spill out all of its words!! Instead, I have had a million errands to run today, with no umbrella, so needles to say… I am a little damp!! …I don’t mind…

 

My dreams were interrupted last night by the loud booming of thunder in the sky. As my eyes popped open, and I lay there, gathering my current state of mind, and other random dreaming thoughts, I decided to roll out of bed and go to the kitchen and make peanut butter & honey in a tortilla, which is so yummmm…

 

Rain was pattering my kitchen window hard and quiet strikes of lightning would flash across the sky, followed by the rumble of the thunder as I stood in my kitchen… thinking of things…

 

Sometimes, our thoughts visit us and they do us no good. Have you ever talked yourself into something that is much less than you thought? Have you ever made things a bigger deal in your head?

 

Don’t believe everything you think!!

 

In the past few weeks, I have had a lot going on… to say the least. It can be hard to maintain a balance in your life, when you are being pulled in so many directions. When you have to be so many places, there just isn’t enough time. Or when you need to do one thing in order to do another, yet, your time is pulling you away from it with another arising problem or obligation… I mean, phew!! I feel like a juggling act at the circus!! Like, lets see how much shit we can pile on top of Jen before she collapses!!

 

I also try to make time to eat, rest, read, and write (which has been seldom lately due to my ever so busy life) and to do something fun! It is important to make time for fun & laughter!! Laughter is the very best medicine, and very good for the soul!!

 

So, am I managing my time well? No. Not really. I could do better. I’m behind on my writing, on my reading, and my e-mails are piling up. I am working a full-time job on top of balancing my volunteer work and I am facing a murder trial next month for the person who killed my brother. (As if that isn’t enough stress… there is more…)

 

I know that we can’t get the answers to all these perplexing life boggles… but we can always reach out, for help or just to talk, and if you are like me, a proud proud person… it is OK to need a helping hand!! ((I sometimes fall because of my refusal to ask for help… I feel, too much pride to ask for such a thing and quite frankly, I don’t like the attention)) But this truth is foolish!! In reality, we are human. I am human. I am not perfect. I cannot get everything done all at once. And if I need a little help just to breathe or balance myself out, that is perfectly normal.

 

For the few things I left out of my BIG TO-DO LIST up there… it’s because they are a bit more private. But regardless, this woman has a lot going on in her busy life!! I am trying to make myself aware that I need to manage my time better, in order to get all my obligations done and goals met.

 

I hope the day finds you well!!

 

Where ever you are, open your eyes and look for something that is remarkable that you may not have noticed before…Trust me, there are things to see that you have not noticed before!! No moment is ordinary… find the remarkable…

 

♥Jen

 

Tryst Thought : Remember… Don’t believe everything you think!! Sometimes our minds can poison us a little… believe it or not!!

 

 
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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 
 

Start Fresh in January. 2013

569705421582232197_UbgCJOXW_b  New year, New beginnings…

The January Journal.

January 1, 2013 –

With the start of anything, I’m always predicting how things will be in my mind. These are just some thought’s in January to put in my Tryst Journal… It’s the first day of the new year. Last year seems like a bad dream when I think about it. There was a lot of loss in my life last year. I have had to leave some things behind, someone who has always been a part of me. As I miss my brother more and more everyday, the time that goes by without him doesn’t get easier. I must accept that he is gone, or I will never move forward. This is a year of big change for me… there are a lot of things that I want to do. I know myself, though, I’m already getting overwhelmed by looking at everything as a whole, and not one thing at a time. If I were to set a New Years Resolution, it would be to break patterns, habits, and try new approaches to everything! Everything! It’s a ‘New’ year resolution for a reason… do something NEW!!

imagesCAF6XMH9  New You!

January 11, 2013 –

My day was frustrating and difficult. After the roller coaster of last year, I can say with much conviction that, there is some healing to be done and a mountain to climb. I am not at the bottom, however, but I have a long way to go. When the emotions of a family are all on the rocks, due to the tragic loss of one of its members, maintaining a rational attitude 100% of the time is unrealistic. I am learning about the stages of grief. Anger is the one that is the most difficult for me to accept. I am not an angry person, not at all. Maybe sensitive at times, fragile, gullible, yes many other things, but angry? No. I’m not the angry girl. So, when I feel this anger, I almost get angry that I’m angry. Here’s what’s going on… I am trying to stay calm and positive all the time, and this is not that difficult, but when I feel hurt or sad at the loss of my brother and that hurt and sadness turns to anger, aren’t I allowed to feel the pain and get the angry shit out?!?! My mom is going through this… My dad is much more passive and keeps things as internal as possible, as I believe is quite common for men, and then there is me. We are all just trying to do the very best we can, and sometimes a day comes along that is harder than the rest. It’s life, right? It’s dealing with loss, and grief, right? It’s not supposed to be easy…

imagesCACXV7OX  I really like this, so I had to put it in my digital journal. ~ J

January 17th, 2013 –

I am exploring myself this week. I have been writing a lot and sharing some pieces that are very personal, close, and dear to my heart. Pieces that I wrote last spring when I was on the inside. Wow, how the time is flying.. I have been learning of some new creative writing outlets and I’m excited to write a poetry duet with a blogging friend. These things are good for me, as I always feel up-lifted when I’m using my creative side.

January 18th, 2013 –

I have been, screaming on the inside, and numb and frozen on the outside. I feel a little trapped, in my routine, and it’s not a routine that makes my soul truly satisfied. So… what should I do…? Take the necessary steps towards what I want/need… but what are those steps..? I feel like I really don’t even know yet. This makes me claustrophobic, and restless. In my blog exploration, I found someone who wrote on this very subject, you can find her piece right here, in a well-rounded blog titled Passionwritting. Anyway, I did not have a good night last night. I spent some time thinking about what I need to do to move towards obtaining at least one of my goals… and I just ended up overwhelming myself! I need to alleviate some of this stress and anxiety! I checked with the City Events Calender on-line and got all kinds of information on upcoming events here in the city. I plan to busy myself with all kinds of things that are different, or out-side my normal box… I have to. I need a change. I’m screaming to get out…

…As January is nearing its end, and the first month of 2013 is already over… What have I done to honor my resolution?

imagesCACL66W6 January Goal – Health & fitness.

Start eating healthier, cooking at home more, taking vitamins, getting regular sleep, maintaining balance between work and relaxing, and get into a yoga class! These are my January goals and main focus points! Get my health on.. ~J