Whispers … (Revisited)

This is something I wrote some time ago for my Soul to Shine space. Tryst is, and will always be, my main blog writing space with the most content and the deepest looks into my truths and my realities … but I created my little Soulshine space for the little pieces with a BIG meaning.

The history and story of what Soulshine is to me and how it came about in my life is something that I have not really shared in great detail. For those who know me, understand what Soulshine is just by knowing me and how my energy works. I am alive in my heart, I am alive in my spirit and everywhere I go, I am a giver and sharer of my Soulshine. I honestly can’t imagine being any other way … and why would I? This is who I am.

Sometimes fewer words have a much bigger impact. That is what you will find in Soul To Shine.

Here on Tryst, I write much more …

I cut and paste this little bit because it suddenly POPPED up in my notifications the other day, and as I said, I wrote it some time ago. This little notification brought me to this piece and I read through it.

This was a Free Write. And one of my favorite Free Writes. So I wanted to share it here … because, well, because I just did.

I hope it reaches someone … anyone … even just one single soul … and they enjoy reading the words as much as I did when writing them.

XoXo

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Whispers

…she is the moon, up in the sky… she becomes the stars, when you make her cry… her music sings painful melodic blues, telling of times when she had felt used… when you hear her whispering words in the air, listen closely to what you hear… she is telling you that the world can be cold, but you can still have love that is warm to hold… she will tell you that pain will make you stronger, by giving you wisdom to living longer… she will tell you to be aware of all of your time, because time is short and you can’t rewind… she will tell you that yesterday has come and gone, don’t live in the past, it’s a truthful song… she whispers that love is the ultimate gift, to have, to hold, to give, and to wish… so love with your heart, and let your soul shine on through, and never, ever, stop being true to you…

 …Jen Lefever

*****

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  ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
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Life, Death, A Fool & Her Thoughts ~ Tryst Free Write

Life, Death, A Fool & Her Thoughts ~ Tryst Daily Reflection

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This has been a hard year. I have been through it all, I have learned a lot. I have moved forward, not backwards, which I am deeply proud of, I have listened some and talked some, I have grown and gained experience and wisdom and most of all, I have survived, so far, the most terrible tragedy … that of losing my brother, my little brother and my life long best friend, who was shot and killed in the city one afternoon in June. Yes, I have had to adjust to living without him, adjust to him not being here to talk to anymore, adjust to having to watch my mom and dad grow older without him. I am still so lost when I search for him, search for answers and when the tears come rolling down my cheeks and frustration boils in my veins, I fall to my knees in desperation and defeat.

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Then I get back up and keep breathing.

Then I get back up and keep living.

Someday I will join my brother, in the Heavens above … Someday I will get to see him again … just not today … just not today. My time here is not yet finished. I still have life to live and people to make memories & learn lessons with. It is not my time to go be with him … my life purpose has not been fulfilled.

Here I am, just that same girl, that grown woman who hurts and cries and laughs and smiles and bleeds like everyone else. Writing about all my life’s chapters, and selecting the ones that I think are suitable to share with the world. Judged or not, which I know I am, as it is so common for more people than not, people will watch, people will assume, people will point fingers, people will judge and people will blame another, and I am not excused from those people in some times of my life but I have learned that this is not healthy, productive or suitable of my character in any way. I don’t like to judge others. Probably because I have been in the spotlight, in the center of the circle, the one who gets judged upon many times in my life. So I take that, brush it off, and move on because those people who judge just don’t matter, and the ones who matter, are the ones who don’t judge.

How can anyone judge another’s life anyway? What gives anyone the right? No one knows a persons pain, no one knows a persons experiences, stories, dreams and nightmares and no one knows what it is like to walk in another’s shoes, no one could possibly know this at all. So, it is completely and utterly arrogant, ignorant and not justifiably true at all for another person to pass judgments based on the fact that they have absolutely no clue. It’s like speaking on a subject you know nothing about, yet you pretend that you know what you are speaking of. Maybe you fool some, only the foolish that is, but in all truth, only the wise, the people who rise above those who point fingers, are the ones who know that words are only words when spoken. Only the wise know not to put any value to them, making them anything else but what they are, and that is meaningless words spoken by a judgmental fool who knows nothing, and who will always remain the same, never moving forward due to their inability to see the foolishness of their thinking and behaving, thus preventing themselves from ever being taught any lessons of wisdom in which to move them forward and enlighten then upon their many many mistakes.

This is the life of a fool. This is the life of those who judge others. What gives them the right, as I first stated above … What gives anyone the right to say they know enough about another’s life in any way, to pass judgments based on their opinions?

They don’t have the right. Only if we give meaning or emotion to their words, do the things they say have meaning or hold value, and then we become a fool for listening and giving meaning to the things said by the foolish fool. If we brush them off, then like I said above, they are only empty words spoken by a foolish fool.

Either way, we are all foolish fools. In a matter of speaking, nothing is justifiable. Nothing makes sense. Life is unfair and we are all dealt the hand that we have no choice but to deal with. Some of us choose not to deal with their hand … while others fight their whole lives trying to find out why things are the way they are. Many things make us different … and many things make us exactly the same. We are all just clueless fools … searching for that which makes us grown and wise … searching for a feeling of security, in anything we do. But we are all still fools.

As I drove home from work this evening, I looked up to the sky, as I often do, and I saw a full moon hanging up in the sky. It was full, bright, and silver and its face was smiling. The face on the moon was full and smiling down upon us, upon the Humans of the world, as we all scurry about, screwing things up and making mistakes, as we all have one common bond … deep inside us all: we all want to feel a sense of security. Now, our kinds of security may differ, but we all want to feel that … secure … in whatever sense we personally seek. We all seek to find, feel and also give a certain sense of safety, of security. What is it that makes me feel safe … ? What does safety mean anyway … ? Are any of us ever really safe from anything … ? Are any of us ever really safe at all … ? Who can trust? Who is always honest? Who has never done wrong? Or hurt another? Whether by choice or by accident, who hasn’t screwed up? Who hasn’t had to ask for forgiveness? Who hasn’t had to give forgiveness? Who thinks that they have all the answers? There are actually people who believe that their way of thinking and behaving is always the righteous way. Really? What ignorance those people must have … to think such a thing. None of us know … we don’t know why things are the way they are, or what is going to happen tomorrow … Just like words can be only words, spoken by a fool, and the fool who listenes to them … so am I the fool who speaks empty words right now … ? And are you the fool who listenes … ? I know my heart is a good one, and my soul is tender and sensitive. So because I am not one to act out of cruelty or viciousness, what does that make me … ? A kind fool who speaks words with endless thoughts that never stop wondering … why … ?

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***

Life is so unpredictable.

Nothing is promised.

We are all going to fall down.

And not all of us get back up.

But those who do…

Are the ones who pave the paths of wisdom

For the ones who play it safe and never take chances

For the ones who conform to society and who are always less wise as a result of that conformity…

The fallen become the strong

And the wise

And we are the ones who

Discover the truths of life

And who end up appreciating everything they have

Everything that their life has given them

And everything they have given others

As a result of their existence in this world

As a human being, just like everyone else.

***

I will continue to let my Soulshine upon the world … because that is one of the reasons I am here … to give to others and let others experience mine … my very own Soulshine.

Something to think about ~ Don’t avoid being the fool. We need that every once and a while. But instead of becoming the fool forever, gain a wisdom from your foolishness, and see what it teaches you.

XOXO ~ Jen

*****
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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Creating Illusion ~ Tryst Update

Creating Illusions ~ Tryst Update
 
There was a time when the world was my oyster.
That time seems so long ago.
I was a vibrant youth, running around the world.
Alive, with every breath I swallowed up joy.
Then life happened and everything changed.
The world turned grey and things I love went away.
Now I’m grown, but I’m broken inside.
Most days I feel invisible.
There was a time when I thought I’d never know sadness.
I must have been fooling myself.
Sadness came and it won’t seem to leave.
 
The world is full of many things.
That is the wisdom… right there
It is pretty some days, and dull the next
There is sadness here, as well as joy
There are rainbows for every storm cloud
Tears for pain and laughter for happiness.
 
For my invisible days
I ask myself, why am I hiding?
It’s me that creates the illusion of invisibility
Not others…
 
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I can’t always explain why certain emotions come & go. There are just reasons beyond other people’s understanding… and that is OK! Not everyone is supposed to understand why my heart cries…Just as I should not UNLOAD all my tears onto others.
 
I have a very good life. I have a very normal life. I am a good person, like most of us… But, my life is different & unique, as each one of our lives are. It is mine. There are a couple of things that I have going on in my life that are, quite ridiculous. But no matter how much I despise them, I have no choice. Just gotta get through them. These are the things that can bring me down a little because I know I’m quite honestly ‘too-good’ to be going through this shit… but still, life sure doesn’t discriminate, does it?
 
Sometimes, being alone is a really good/healthy thing for the soul.  ((I try to tell my husband this, but he doesn’t like to hear it. He doesn’t like to be alone at all!)) He doesn’t understand why I pack up my car and go to my lake house to get away and just be alone. I NEED to be alone with my thoughts. To clear my head. To listen to my heart.
 
Only in the space of solitude… do I find true internal peace and reason.
 

♥Jen

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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 
 

 

 
 
 

When Advice Becomes A Torture Device ~ Tryst Insider

Is It Good Advice? Or Torture Device? ~ Tryst Insider
Listening to your inner voice…
Think about all the advice that is floating around this planet. People with problems are always the ones who try to project the most, and sometimes best, advice on to others. This is true because who better to give advice than someone who has been there, right? But one thing needs to be remembered: Just because words come out, and formulate sentences, which make for communicating some advice at someone, about a situation, this doesn’t mean that the words are true!!
Just because you say it, doesn’t mean it is right, true, valid, or even good advice!! No offense to the people way up there on their pedestals… Don’t get a nose bleed!! ((I have a strong opinion for people who think they are so great, that they are just above the rest of the world. And my opinion is quite harsh and offensive, so I’ll keep it to myself, so long as we are understood.))
Good advice, I think, can be not-so-good advice, which turns into, following the path of the wrong way down the street, sadly leading you, blinded, to the wrong time and place, all the while, you are torturing yourself because you’ve followed some bad advice!! Ah!! Not some bad advice!!
So what do we do? How do we decipher the good from the bad? The right from the wrong? Are we putting too much hope into one basket? Believing what we want to believe? Fingers crossed, hoping it turns out this way, all the while, probably knowing that, we are on a long path to the torture chamber?
Giving advice.
When giving advice, you need to think things through. Is what you’re saying going to point the person in the right direction? For you, or for them? And How do you know?
When taking advice, keep in mind that it’s coming from someone who may not know all the details. So be cautious when following the path of another. Don’t find yourself being tortured over letting one person lead you astray…
Just sayin’
🙂 ~ Jen
Tryst Thought: Should I have listened to my heart instead? Don’t leave yourself in the pool of doubt! Weigh all of your options!! Know that the best answers for ourselves, are always inside of us. No one knows you better than you!!
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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication