The Moment – Post Traumatic Stress

The Moment
Post Traumatic Stress
**
And then one day
You are somewhere in the world
With this feeling deep inside
A feeling that something is wrong
You just know
That something is not  right
You don’t know what it is
But it is something
This feeling is real
Unknown to what your senses are telling you
You tell the feeling to go away
Go away … you say
Just go
You don’t know what else to say …
 
That’s when the moment arrives
The moment you are brought into the white room
Told to sit down and listen
Told that this will be some difficult news
 
At first I heard the words
Echoing inside my head
Echo … echo … echo …
No no … he can’t be dead
No no … you must be wrong
No no … it can’t be my person
No no … you don’t understand
No no … please check again
No no … You’ve got the wrong man
Right … ?
What … ?
Oh no … don’t say the words
Oh no … no no no not my brother
Oh no …oh my God oh my God
Oh no … I can’t feel my hands
Oh no … my chest is tight
Oh no … I am gasping for air
Oh no … this doesn’t feel real
Oh no … no no no not my little brother
Oh no … no no
My knees hit the floor
My hands slip as I try to brace my fall
Dizzy in my head
Blur … blur … blur
My sight is seeing red
On the ground with people all around
Muffled are their voices
Blurred by my tears
Drowning my eyes inside my head
Say it’s not true
My brother can’t be dead
I must get out of here
As I am now trapped in hell
No where to go
No where to run
I need some air
I’m coming undone
I stand up on my legs
They quiver in physical shock
My throat is tight & dry
Get me out of this room
Am I really here right now
This can’t be real … it can’t be real
I take myself outside
Underneath the sky
Looking up into the clouds
Looking for his face somewhere …
Screaming … I start to scream NO
Screaming … SCREAMING … scream
I scream his name over and over
Hand on my breaking heart
Bent over I sob … I sob
I can’t seem to catch my breath
I can’t seem to let myself feel
That any of this … is real
This can’t be real, right?
This can’t be real …
This can’t be real …
That’s my brother … my baby brother
That’s my life … he is a part of me
Oh no … I love him so much
So much, my brother … NO
Shock …
I’m in shock …
Panic …
I start to panic …
No no … I’m not done!!
I’m just not finished
I have things to tell him
I have things to say
I have to let him know
Oh my God … I didn’t tell him goodbye
He needs to  hear me say ‘I love you’ one more time
One more time … just once more
I … I am not
Finished
I … have so much to
Oh no … no not my brother … no
Why?
How?
What happened?
Where did he go?
What did he need?
Why Dave oh no … why?
What am I supposed to do now?
I need you here
What about mom & dad
They need us both
They are getting older
I told them that I’d always be here for you Dave
I told them that you will be ok
I can’t breathe … I just can’t breathe
Let me catch my breath …
Someone tell me something
Someone tell me what to do
What am I supposed to do
My whole life had you in it
Life doesn’t make sense without you
And the last time we spoke …
Oh my God … the last time
The last time we spoke was the last time we spoke
It was the last time I’d ever hear your voice
I didn’t know that … I didn’t know
How could I know that
I’m sorry … I’m sorry
I need to call your phone
I’m calling your phone
It’s ringing … ringing
I hear your voice
Bus it’s your voice mail
I’m holding the phone
My eyes are burning
My heart is aching
I slide down the wall
Phone drops to the floor
I sob for you … I sob
Tell me this isn’t real
This isn’t real
Hole
There is a hole in my heart
 
Now what …
 
~ Sis
 
**
 
This is something I felt like trying to put into words.
I didn’t do it much justice … these words are so light, compared to … this event that haunts me and recurs in my mind all the time … no justice.
**
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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Little You ~ A Tryst Re-Visit

Little You

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Imagine… At this point in your life, after every moment you have lived up to this very moment… if the child version of you walked in to the room and reached up to you, the adult you, to be picked up and put in your lap… looking at you, the little you, say five years old or so… what would you tell this tiny child? What would you say to your five year old, innocent self…?

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…this question, this deep rooted, emotionally moving, moment of pivitol words to be spoken only to yourself, from you as an adult to you as a tiny, sweet and innocent child, was asked of me by a person I respect very much. When I close my eyes, and picture myself at five years old, and picture my five year old self looking at me now… it made my heart beat fast. I had tears in my eyes. It gave me the urge and desire to want to hold and hug this little girl… me. To look at my five year old self and say, ‘I’m so sorry sweet baby’, is only the beginning. Of course, I have thought about this. I have thought about this very hard. I was forever moved by this question and will use this little exercise from time to time to remind myself that underneath my skin, behind the eyes of me as a grown woman, was once the heart, mind and spirit of an innocent child that did not know any better. As we all start this way, young and small and unable to protect ourselves, then we grow up and in the more time we spend on this earth, how many times have we hurt ourselves? How many times have we forgotten to love ourselves? Or not protected ourselves? Or disapointed, shamed, scared or even lied to our very own selves…?

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I would tell my little self to love myself in every single moment. I would say that if you don’t love your own heart, even one time, then it will be weak and in life you need a strong heart! Others cannot love you if you don’t love yourself. And if you don’t love yourself then it is impossible to give love and to receive love. I would tell my little self that I am very sorry for the times I hurt you and let you down. Learning in life, growing up I didn’t know everything and I never meant to hurt little you, but sometimes I did. Sometimes I forgot about little you and left you alone in the dark, or out in the cold rain. For all of those times when I didn’t know any better, I hope little me can forgive me… image

It does take strength to forgive, little innocent me, so practice this virtue. I would tell little me to remember that I have always loved my tiny heart, my tiny self, and love is what has kept me, us, going. To love is the greatest thing, to be loved is truly priceless and always give to others what you would want for your own self. That is the magic of karma, and karma is always there, right behind you. I would tell little me that I’ve never given up and I never will. I’ll always be here, for me. image

This is a very powerful image, for the mind and spirit. To anyone who reads this, imagine little you sitting on your lap… what would you say? After all the things you have been through, seen and survived so far .. is there anything important enough to tell your little self .. ?

~ Jen

***

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© Think. Speak. Tryst Publication

For a lovely and beautiful poetic piece that goes brilliantly with this, visit Edward Hotspur’s site Lyrical Anarchy and read Time’s Fleeting Glances

Another beautiful soul that I have recently encountered in my life, you will find her words truly heart-warming, inspiring & will leave you with tears of joy as she is a brilliant example of Human Kind at its up-most Loving-kindness. She has become one of my favorite writers and I look forward to her posts daily!

Visit The Other Side of Ugly by following this link, and let your eyes fall upon the words of The Ugly In Me by following this link. Both of these pieces reminded me of what I was thinking when I wrote this piece above. I know that you will enjoy, and you will find that the writer is an angel herself … among us all … right here in this world.

Soul Graffiti ~ A Tryst Anniversary Post

Soul Graffiti

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A Tryst Anniversary Post

I have had so much going on that I didn’t even realize that today is the 1 year Anniversary of Tryst!! My life has taken me through many moments in the last 12 months, but when looking back, I know that I stand even taller and even wiser than I did last September. Just like any person, I have made mistakes, but I always get up, brush myself off and move forward. My years of being ignorant and blind to my faults are even farther behind me now. The lessons I have learned, some through success and others through personal failure, are what make my Soulshine even brighter today than ever before. I know that I have this empty space, and that space will never feel quite right again, but in the absence of my brother who was taken so tragically and violently from me and my family, I carry his spirit with me in everything that I do.

I can proudly say today that my life is clean, truthful and good. I think about my family and loved ones before I make decisions and I am selfish in the right kind of ways, selfish enough to eliminate the shitty people who claim to be a friend, who claim to have my back, but so foolishly in my innocence and sensitivity I believed these claims as these people only turned out to stab me in the back, as opposed to ever having it. (I am really only referring to a very small number of people, two or three to be exact — as the ones I have in my life now are wholesome and good and have shown it in every step they make, and we all know that actions speak much louder than words … words are only words & words are meaningless when they come from a source who is only fooling themselves in life … I pray for those people)

This morning has been hard, as the trial continues with no resolve as of yet for the person responsible for killing my brother. I was reminded of a lesson today, and that it, when you are right, when you are true, you need no defense. There is no reason to defend the truth because it speaks for itself. Only the guilty get defensive and only the guilty get mean and ugly to people and only the hateful, selfish and cruel turn and lash out at someone who they know is good because the goodness of the other person clashes with their darkness and inner self loathing. So, for those people, I bless you and pray that someday you find some self-love and a true sense of peace. I have made many mistakes, yes, but I love myself more today than I ever have and it shows in my life, in my smile, in the things I do, in my personal success … my true self-love and my sense of peace and harmony with myself shows in my heart, on my face, and in every way I live my life. I do not waste my time anymore and I have become way too strong to let anyone take advantage of me, and this is something that I let many people do for many years.

When a person changes, especially makes positive & strong changes, they may not get a good review from their network of people who have always counted on them to be weak, or to screw up, or to be the one they can point a finger at and say, “At lease that isn’t me!!” And so when you get your love, strength and wisdom’s and leave that old ‘you’ behind, you will find yourself leaving behind many of the people who you thought were in your corner, when in fact, they were only using you this whole time.

Life is not always easy. And death has taught me so much … about everything!! But I can tell you that life is also very beautiful. And when you have love, real love, there are no words needed to explain it. It just is. And when you have real truth, there are no words needed to defend it, because it just is. And when you have real forgiveness, real happiness, real peace, real love and real kindness, you never waste one minute waking up in the morning, harboring negative energy, or lashing out to another, with the only intent to hurt them. When YOU are REAL, the world knows it in everything that you do. You don’t have to hide your hatred or ugliness because you NEVER practice these things. You just get to be you, all the time, and let your heart and soul do the work.

I still struggle with things. I still go back and forth. But I can proudly say that I hold myself accountable for the things I have done, otherwise, I wouldn’t have the mind and soul that I do today. In the last year I have cried more tears than in my whole life put together, losing my brother, my best friend, my world, has been the most difficult thing I have ever been through, by far the most painful. It has made me realize that there is so much peddley shit that I have been hurt by, or cried over, or let bother me … and let me say, I DO NOT lose sleep or shed tears over people or things that are not worthy of them. I can thank my brother for teaching me that. But I do fall apart and cry for him. I probably always will. He was one of the best people I have ever known, a heart of gold, and now I have only memories.

While I think about these things, I feel overwhelmed with all that I have to say, and all that I have learned over the last year. Too many words, too many thoughts, too many reasons why and why not … but here I am, here I stand, alive and well and here to tell all my stories, share my success and shed light upon the reasons of my falls. I am neither worse or better than … but I am good, I am great, I am proud, I am honest, I am kind, I am always trying to better myself, I am living a life that is peaceful, I have more love today and I don’t over look that, I cherish it as a blessing, and while I give love, just as I receive it, I continue to bless this world, the people around me, and all the wandering souls who are still searching or healing.

I hope my brother has his hand on me and can see the things that I am doing … and in any moment of weakness, as I am still a human and I will still make mistakes, I only ask for the strength to continue on the path that I am currently on, because I am very proud of who I am becoming … I am very proud.

Here is to my ONE year of writing on Tryst and sharing all my chaos with my Tryst Friends and Family!! Here is to ONE year of my documenting all the graffiti that is written on my soul!! I have over 700 readers and I love each and every one of you!!! May Tryst continue to grow, may I continue to grow, and may we all keep holding each others hands in the rain, in the sunshine and while our Soul’s shine … cause you all know that nothing is better than that. Nothing feels better than Soulshine.

Love – And have a beautiful day

Jen Lefever

*****

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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Good News!! Tryst Update

Good News!! Tryst Update

I am super happy tonight!! Last month I entered a poetry contest … it was the very first time I have ever submitted a poem for any thing!! I went through all of my material, a collection of over 500 poems and 2 manuscripts, which took me a few weeks. I needed to choose only 1 poem, under 28 lines, any style or genre … needless to say, this was a hard thing to choose with so many to pick from!!

Finally, I picked the one I wanted to send in!! I re-typed it and put it into an envelope … sealed it and popped it into the mail box. (Again, this was my first poetry submission, EVER!! So, I’ve been anxious to hear if I made the cut or if my piece even got seen …

So today I got a letter in the mail from the Publisher’s of the contest informing me that my poem made it into the semi-finals and I am up for grand prize!! Having made it this far I will get to be published in the book they are putting together of everyone’s poetry, so even if I don’t win the grand prize, I feel like I still won anyway because I will have a published piece!!

Good news & Good job to me!! … (I am kinda proud) 🙂

Xo ~ J

This really made me feel good and brightened up my whole day!!

~ Tryst Publication ~

Summer Time & The Livin’s Easy … ~ Tryst Insider

 

~ The First Day of Summer ~

 

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Summer Time & The Livin’s Easy …

 

It is official ~ June 21st is the first calender day of summer!!! Summer has always been my favorite of seasons!! While I also enjoy spring and fall, I have always known summer to be my absolute favorite!!! The whole world is alive … the trees are brilliant shades of green … flowers are in bloom and popping with bright, beautiful colors everywhere … swimming pools are cool and full of smiling people … neighborhoods are decorated with people walking their puppies, or strolling their kids down the sidewalks … we go on ice cream runs at night after the sun has gone down, when the air is still thick with heat and humidity … popsicles become a weekly necessity on my grocery list … I find any excuse to leave the city & go to my lake house, or be emerged in a large, cold body of water … I talk about the day I will be moving to the beach every five minutes … I find myself writing in my journals outside, either in my parents back yard where I grew up by the waterfalls, or in my special place of inspiration, in the park on the bank of the flowing river … my weeping willow tree is full and beautiful and my apple tree is busy growing me apples … I get to wear my hippy dresses everyday, and other summer clothes like tank tops & flip-flops, which brings me much joy as I hate dressing for the winter months … the farmers market is full of fruit, fresh summer vegetables and other kinds of blooming produce and flowers … the city sidewalks are full of cafe’ dinners who have stopped to quench parched lips with iced tea’s and micro-brews of KC, while enjoying delish tapas’ and other small plate yummies … oh, and of course, one of my fav spots is always busy serving up the cities best red & white sangria’s … the Plaza is busy with the summer shoppers and people catching late-night Independent Films at the Theatre … summer concerts and music festivals are the place to be, you will find me at the Crossroads jammin’ to jam bands and eating the best pizza in the city … summer is the best time to go to events that are put together to raise awareness for good causes and raise money for good organizations, like for children and animals … of course since I live in KC, summer is the season to hit the Blues District and eat out famous BBQ, then again, it’s always a good time for our awesome KC BBQ … evenings in the city with old friends, outside under the stars, in any of our local bars, pubs, or hot spots is fun to kick back and remember the ‘days’ way back when … and of course, those weekends when we all escape the hot city streets and take off to go relax in the hammock on the huge deck of my waterfront lake house, with a dock full of boats and water toys, and the fun & amenities of Osage Beach just minutes away … yes, my lake house is the perfect 2 hour get-a-way, in lieu of hopping on a plane, although I hop a plane when ever I can!! … These are a few of my favorite things about this wonderful, hot summer season!!! These are the things that I will be doing, trying to enjoy KC as much as I can while I am here … as the days become fewer and fewer, as the time Jake & I are ready to move becomes closer to reality …

I hope everyone has a wonderful summer!!!

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XOXO ~ Jen

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 ‘Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.’ Marsha Norman

 
 
 
 
*****

 
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 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 

Jenny News ~ Tryst Update

Jenny News

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How Long Have I Been Gone...? ~ Tryst Update

I have had a very active schedule these past few weeks. I have had some things going on that are very awesome and exciting, and I have had the stress of some very tough/painful things going on as well.

The one year date of my brother’s death is tomorrow. This ‘first’ year without him has been very tough. As many of you know, those who have followed me loyally and read the things I write, I have had about a million up’s and down’s these last 12 months. (I actually haven’t been blogging for 12 months yet, so my Tryst family has only been linked into my life for the last 9 months, but still, 9 months is plenty of time to get to know me, as I am as real in my writing as any deep, emotional poet should be…)

The stages of grief have taken me through sadness, anger, resentment, depression, isolation and some emotional mini-drama’s … but I have survived none-the-less and here I stand, telling the world my stories.

I have some things coming up … I have been asked to get involved in programs like D.A.R.E, here in KC, where I will get the opportunity to talk to kids at schools and other youth groups about substance abuse, being a victim to acts of violence and the death of my brother. I am honored and excited to be a voice to these kids and tell them my stories and the things I have been through. If I only help one person, just one person, then it will be completely fulfilling to me. I hope to make the impression and teach the wisdom that life does not discriminate, no matter who you are, or where you come from … life happens to all of us. Life can be very hard at times, but there is always, there IS ALWAYS, light on the other side. You just need to never stop loving yourself, and you will be alright.

Other than that, I have been putting in 50 hour work weeks, at least, working like a dog!! And trust that I am tired like a dog!! Phew…

I have recently launched my photography business which is SUPER exciting for me!! I have purchased some new equipment and have been playing with my camera … I love my hobbies!! This is something I have been thinking about for a while now and finally decided to go for it!! I have studied photography in college and I’ve always loved it!! So, furthering my experience, I’ve been doing LOT’S of shooting, adding to my portfolio!! I know that great things have to start somewhere before they become great, so what better time than now? Plus, it’s good to keep busy with things I enjoy … it helps with the grief I feel in the absence of my brother.

I also became a part of a SUPER great nutritional business!! In college, I minored in Nutrition while getting my Culinary Degree, I thought the information would be a great credential for me to have alone with being a Chef, and it has proven to be just that!! I have come across some KICK ASS products and was offered the chance to be a part of this up & coming, fast growing business op … AND not only that, but I have used these products that I’m now sharing with the world and they are SO fantastic I can’t even believe it!!

I will probably post more about this with another post, more informative & what not … because this is just a Jen Update …

I have really missed my Tryst Family!! I have not been writing too much lately, and it has been three weeks since my last Daily Reflection. (I wrote a poem, yes, one lonely poem, in the last few weeks, but that has been all I have had time for    😦 <-sad face  Launching and writing of my web-sites has had me quite occupied!!

So how is my Tryst Family? I have a mail box Jam Packed FULL with all of your wonderful posts, in which I will dedicate a long Saturday to do some reading!! I always enjoy reading the wonderful talent of all of you as well, so rest assure, my inbox will stay full until I get to do some reading!!

Yesterday it was raining here, terenchal downpour!! But today, the air is clear and the sky is blue and it is just simply beautiful … not only that, but even though I am extremely tired, worn slick, beat down in every which way … I am still standing here, with a smile, a sleepy smile, but yes, life has me smiling …

I am grateful for many things today …

Enjoy your day Tryst!!

XO ~ Jen

*****

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 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Rescue Me

This Piece is dedicated to my wonderful friend, a rare and beautiful soul… she is a reason to believe that there are true and wonderful people in the world… Our friendship could not have been forced, or faked, or created any other way… except the way that it did… naturally, truthfully & for a beautiful reason. Our similarities are a wonderful gift, and our differences complement nicely. I look forward to tomorrow, having a friend like Hastywords.

This poem is just for her

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Rescue Me

Here you are

A light come forth to shine

A force of which

I only entertained existed

The hopeful desire

That others like me

Much to the same sensitivity

You are tender with the world

Beautiful soul

I feed on your light

Comfort me

With your warm, gentle voice

Proving to me

To the world we know

That angels walk upon us

Where ever we go

Here you are

My own friend and savior

A lyrical dance

As you put me at ease

Please tell me

That I am saving you too

From the things that you need

An emptiness I fill in you

Light we share

It grows between us

Sharing soulshine

The building of trust

This very evening

You put me at ease

You lifted me up

When I had fallen to my knees

Here you are

I am here for you too

I honor our tryst

In all that I do

~J. Lefever~

(04/23/13)

This piece is written for a very dear friend. Someone who has given me hope that there are gentle souls still present to this day. The world can make us, turn cold to others, but then… out of no where… a light comes along, and for whatever the wonderous, giving reason, we have been given a true friend.

Thank you for being you.

*****
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 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 

Daily Reflection on Trystღ (03/28/13)

Daily Reflection (03/28/13)

 

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OG ~ Original Gangster

 

Thursday.

Afternoon & halfway through my day… and then some. Easter is on Sunday and I have some things festering in my mind. I could participate in the normal family get together, dinner, and spending quality time but this year… this weekend… I’m thinking of leaving the city.

 

I need those little breaks, you know? I write about this a lot. It’s good for me to get a change of scenery. Step away from my daily routine and regular activity here and just go… My mom & I are going to escape the reality of life for a couple of days and go to our lake house. I am really looking forward to a nice quiet weekend to be honest.

 

Today the city is warmer than it has been all year and the sun is shinning. What have I been praying for, and bitching about, for weeks -> NO! Months!! What have I been bitching about for months now…? Yep! Warm weather and spring time!! Well, the day brings me more of spring than it has all year… and yet, I am battling things up in my head. Yes, I know… it’s always freakin something, right?

 

Today, I want to put these reflective words out there : Be who you are. Be yourself. Be an OG!! ((And by OG, I just mean, be original))

 

If there ever has been a time when you have tried to fit a mold that is not who you are? Why? There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a true person for who they truly are. This really goes with my posts on how I cannot tolerate those fake ass mo-fo’s … but I’m not pushing the ‘Don’t’ today … I am pushing the ‘Do’ !!

 

Don’t you dare sacrifice your genuine uniqueness for anyone!! Don’t let anyone bring you down for being you either!!

 

I want to stress the importance of this because, like lots of important things in life, I think that in the chaos and in the hectic schedules we carry on each day, it is easy to forget some important things. I’m not saying, oh, we get so busy we forget to be who we are… more like, we get so busy that we forget nourish who we are and in that process of nourishment, improve who we are.

 

So in the spirit of nourishing my OG, my soul… I signed up for Ariel Ribbon Dance Classes. OMG!! I know, right? I’ll probably totally embarrass myself.. but I DON’T CARE!! My girlfriend and I sat on the phone yesterday and debated signing up for this class… but I said, “Marie!! If we don’t try it, we will neva know!!” So, she and I swallowed our pride and told our ego’s that they were just going to have to handle it if we aren’t the BOMB at this Ariel Ribbon Dancing thing, and we signed up.

 

Our first class is next week.

 

I am wicked excited!! ((Oh, and I will do a follow-up on this piece, and post some pic’s of the class… well, as long as I get some good shots, and nothing too humiliating!!)) 🙂

 

In life, it is so easy to get lost and follow down the wrong path. In these times, we need to remember to find our inner soul shine and get back to our side of the street. These last few years have been very hard on me. But the storms have seemed to pass in my life, for now at least, and I am slowly getting myself back on track… Slowly…

 

 ♥ Jen
 
Tryst Thought ~ Making changes in one’s life is very hard to do. Many people say they are going to change their lives, and very few actually do. Be the change, like Ghandi said, that you want to be. But in the process, always stay true to who you are inside. The original you is always the best you!! 
 
 
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Photo Cred : Me & my silly hubby… being original
 
 
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 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

 

 

 

 

 

Tryst Award Show Pt 2 ~ Tryst News

TRYST AWARD SHOW PART 2 ~ TRYST NEWS
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Finally!! At long last!! After all my hard work, putting my blood, sweat & tears into Tryst on a daily basis… here are the Epic and the ABC Awards!!
EPICALLY AWESOME AWARD OF EPIC AWESOMNESS ~
Can this be true? Am I Epically Awesome? If this is so, it’s quite the compliment I have received from the Oh-So-Wonderful himself, Revis Edgewater, who was kind enough to honor me with this award. Revis, you rock!! To be called Epic, or Awesome, or both in the same sentence has made mine, Jen, and Tryst, me & my blog land, day… this award is one of my most special!! I am proud to post the award of Epicness!! Thank you Revis, I am honored & humbled!! To those unaware of Revis’s excellence, follow the link provided to check him out @ 33 Grams of Blog!!
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What do I need to do for this one?
  • Tell 10 epic and/or awesome facts about yourself.  That’s it. (Ugh, more facts.. you all will be sick of me soon… )

1) I am a woman and I don’t really care for chocolate.

2) I love ALL living things equally. I don’t animal discriminate! But… I want nothing to do with snakes or spiders.. those aren’t animals anyway.

3) I need alone time. I mean, I need time when I’m ALL BY MY SELF!! I like myself. I require time & space to breathe without other’s around getting on my nerves. I never get on my nerves! I am confident and like to be all alone at times.
4) I want to learn to fly a plane. I think it would be exhilarating!
5) I am very annoyed by soft-spoken people. They just, ugh.. have some confidence in your self and SPEAK UP!!
6) I lettered in Drama in Highschool
7) My heritage & bloodline is French & Russian. (That’s where my loud, stubborn temper comes from, if I get pushed to that point… which rarely happens. You have to do something really REALLY terrible to see my mean side!! Ya hear?
8) I am double jointed in my arms, legs and fingers.
9) I have a gorgeous Gibson Les Paul, custom painted that I can barely play. It’s a shame, I know!! My dad is trying to teach me..
10) I enjoy giving speeches and public speaking of any kind. 

->Pass it on to some (or 10) bloggers you think are awesome and/or epic–or both. (Again, I’m breaking rules.. I don’t have 10 on my list, but for those I do pass it to, know what the right, real rules are!! So, my nominee’s are:

1) Hastywords – My favorite friend & most talented poet in the ‘sphere!

2) A Spoon Ful of Suga – This writer holds nothing back!!

3) The Reclining Gentleman – Raw talent, excellent fiction, and reality all in one!

 Thank you, again, Revis!! You are some kind of awesome!!

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THE ABC  BLOG AWARD ~
Over on Stuphblog, there is this really great guy I know, some of you may know him too.. Yes, that is right, TwinDaddy, I am talking about you!! Over the course of the last few months, I have had some great conversations with this person. I really enjoy each and every one of them! Not only is TwinDaddy a great written, but he is also a great friend… with a great mind and soul. So, given the fact that he nominated me for this ABC Award, makes me feel pretty good!! I’m happy to be on his list of nominees!! Thank you TD!! You rock my world!!
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What is up with this award here…?
The ABC – it’s easy as 1, 2. 3 – (Awesome Blog Content) Award.  The ABC Award is a bit different from other awards in that the only rule is that you come up with something relevant to you for each letter of the alphabet.  Hence, the title ABC Award.  “At least, I’m guessing that’s what’s supposed to be so clever about this award.” – Said TwinDaddy. Well, TD, I think you got it right!! This should be easy.. Lets go ->
A- Apples. I eat at least ONE apple everyday, if not more. It is one of my healthier addictions.
B- Brother & Butterflies.. there is a reason for that ♥
C- Cars. My father owns many car dealerships. He has given me a love & appreciation for cars since I was little.
D- Dad … I love, honor & respect my dad more than I can express properly ( & David ♥ you are everywhere in me )
E- Eggs Benedict.. my favorite thing for breakfast!!
F- Family ♥ ( and friends.. but family #1 )
G- Grandpa Lefever ♥ I loved my Papa Lefever! He was the best. I miss him everyday…
H- Heart. ♥ I put my heart into a lot of things in my life.
I- Inspiration. I need this everyday!! ♥
J- Jake ♥ my husband. My best friend. My partner. My person ♥
K- Kindness. What would the world be without it?
L- Laughter  ♥ Love  ♥ Listening ♥ Learning
M- My Momma. Of course my mom is on this list. I love my family more than anything! I will always need my mom ♥
N- Namaste ♥ Be well with you, I bow to you!! (Yoga stuff)
O- Options.. I like to be able to make my own choices in life.
P- Puppies. Yea. I know. I love em.
Q- Quality. I like anything that has or is quality!!
R- Rainbows. I think it’s a miracle when light reflects off of water and we get to see the colors. I mean, wow!! So awesome
S- Sex. My marriage would be just good friendship without it! I have enough friends!! ( ♥ my hubby )
T- Time. I wish I had more. I live to mot waste any… & Tears… they cleanse the soul
U- Umbrellas. They keep my dry when it rains & allows my to walk in the rain. ( I ♥ rain )
V- Valentines Day ♥ Um, couldn’t think of a good ‘V’ and I like to eat cup cakes and get new jewelry on this day!
W- Waterfalls!! They are beautiful!! One of earths miracles..
X- X-Factor. I do watch the show.. it’s good 🙂
Y- Yoga. I practice Vinyasa & Ashtanga. I also enjoy Hatha. Anusara is a class I’ve taken, but not regularly.
Z- Zen. I love the idea of Zen, we are all one with the elements. Be still. Be calm. Breathe.
See… that wasn’t so bad! Now it’s that time to pass the ABC Award, because it feels good to get an award and we don’t want to be selfish pricks, like TwinDaddy said, thank you TD!!
Before I name the few winners, I want to remind everyone to head over to check out some real Unshitty Stuph on TwinDaddy’s blog!! Although, is fan base is ten times the size of mine, I may have one wonderful reader who hasn’t been by, and you should not think twice.. it is a great blog!!
I want to thank TD, Tryst Peeps, and of course, my own self, mind and soul… without which I wouldn’t have the wonderful skill and talent that I possess as a writer!! 🙂 In all seriousness, thanks to those who nominated me for these awards, thanks for giving me all this work to do when accepting them, sheesh… thanks to those on Tryst, and thanks to, well, everyone!! XOXO♥
Am I done yet…?
Oh Yeah, some more nominations.. OK!! Here are the ones I’m giving this ABC Award to:
1)  Reconstructing Christina ♥ a beautiful talent!
2) Shackled & Crowned ♥ Uncut & raw words, brilliant!
3) Lacie Jay ♥ My sweet friend is talented & amazing!
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Tryst Thought: I am enough. To make myself smile, to accomplish my goals, to take care of my needs, to provide for myself in any way… I am enough. But it means so much more having you in my life to share it with!!
To my friends, my family, and all those who my heart loves XoXo ~ Jen♥
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 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Tryst Award Show Pt 1 ~ Tryst News

TRYST AWARD SHOW, PART 1 ~ TRYST NEWS

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Things have been busy lately. As the Author, Artistic Developer and Creator of Tryst, and all things Tryst, I too have had my hands full with this thing we call life. But no matter what is going on in my world, I always have time to escape to my other world, Tryst Land, and lyrically express myself, in which ever way suits me at the moment. I often get lost in Tryst Land for hours. I really like it here. I have created a place that I can come to when ever I want, and it doesn’t stress me out, people don’t piss me off here and I get to say whatever I want about anything!! So, yeah, I love Tryst Land and everything that comes along with it! No matter what goes on in my life, I will always make time for Tryst.

 

With that said, This week I have graciously been given 4 awards. Yes, 4 of them!! I humbly and honorably accept these awards with warmth and appreciation in my heart. I remember, at the beginning of Tryst, I never thought that I’d be one of those blog, worthy enough of such awards. I still have my doubts because there are such fantastic writers out there!! I have been blown away by the raw talent and pure inspiration there is out there in the Blogosphere!! I mean, what more can you ask for? This place is where all of the deeply poetic, comically hilarious, most wise and intelligent, fictionally creative, talented, so talented people come to show off their stuff!! There are some really great people to connect with here and communicate with about the things we share and have in common!! I very much appreciate this place, Tryst Land, and all of you!!

 

NOW, FOR THE TRYST AWARD SHOW ~~~

 

Since there are 4 things to accept here, rules to follow, and people to give back to… I am going to be more brief on some of the things. Also, If there are rules asking for, say 15 different bloggers to share with, and I honestly don’t have that many people who I think write to deserve an award, I’m not going to just hand them out to random people because that would defeat the purpose of the award and it would minimize the actual deserving purpose of it as well. And so, if I make up a few things on my way here, or bend the rules a little, it’s just my creative mind at work here!!

 

My mission here is: To show gratitude and appreciation to the friends who gave me the award. To introduce those that I think are deserving of the award. To acknowledge that Tryst has received these awards, and is very proud and honored to accept them!

 

Drum roll please))

 

THE VERY INSPIRING  BLOGGER AWARD ~

 

This award quite appreciated!! If there is one thing that I hope to accomplish and achieve at Tryst, and that is to inspire!! I find that when I have moments of inspiration, I feel pretty good!! My creative juices are flowing and I have all this motivation to write, or create, whatever it is that I have been inspired to do!! Yes, inspiration feels good!! I am very honored to have been given this Award, and I must give BIG HUGS and HUGE THANK YOU to Robert Mudge!! Rob and I have crossed paths in life and we very quickly became people who communicate in the blog world, as well as other social media outlets. Rob is a great guy who has a lot of inspiration to give to others!! If you are unaware of his wonderfulness, cruise by his blog, Yelling Quietly, by following the link provided!! Thank you Rob for this wonderful award!

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If you so choose to participate, here are the 5 rules to follow:

1) Link back to the person who nominated you.

2) Post the award image on your page.

3) Tell seven (7) random facts about yourself.

4) Answer a few random questions:

1. My drink of choice is: tea

2. I don’t want to: die with regrets.

3. I’ve never: water skied! But grew up on a lake and have done practically everything else on the water!!

4. I think: too much!! I think ALL the time!! My mind never stops!

5. I don’t: Like to be around arrogant people who think they know everything.

6. What I have a hard time with is: Finding the right balance between work and relaxing. It seems I go through spells where it’s 100% one or the other!

7. I want to know: Where a person goes when they die. (I want to know where my brother is and if he can hear me)

5) Nominate five (5) other blogs… or as many or as few as you have been truly inspired by!!

 

I have linked & posted the Award Badge so, here are 7 random facts about me:

 

1) I am 6′ tall. That’s a lot of inches!!

2) I love to sing. Anywhere! Karaoke, in the car, in the shower.. anywhere!!

3) I prefer driving a manual transmission as opposed to an automatic. I like to actually ‘drive’ the car!

4) I love to horseback ride. I used to compete when I was a kid.

6) I danced for 16 years. Ballet & tap mostly. Performed all over the country.

7) I have been in 3 movies as an extra. One of the films I was a ‘featured extra’.

I nominate these bloggers for inspiring me, oh so well!!

 

1) Alice at Wonderland An amazing read!! You must stop by & see for your self!

2) Literary Land of Alysia Her words are always heartfelt & real.

3) El Guapo He is funny, fun and fantastic! He inspires me to smile, laugh and lighten up!

I just want to say thank you again to Robert Mudge! I have truly enjoyed connecting with you!!

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THE LIEBSTER BLOG AWARD ~

Also from Robert Mudge, I was given the Liebster Blog Award!

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It is an award given to up and coming bloggers, which reputedly started in Germany. “Liebster” is German for “favorite”, so in a way this award is the “favorite blog award” as another blogger put it.  You receive this award from a fellow blogger that feels your blog is both worthy & important to them. If you receive this award, here are the steps to follow:

  1. Nominate anywhere from 3-11 blogs/bloggers (You can choose. 3-5 is most popular)
  2. The bloggers awarded must have less than 300 followers.
  3. Answer the 11 questions asked of you by your nominator
  4. Pose 11 questions for your nominees

Participation is completely voluntary and is not limited to any genre or writing for that matter. Basically, the blog can be about anything and simply has to be one that you feel is worthy and that you would like to give recognition to by passing it on.

With that said, I graciously accept this award. Thank you so much Rob!! You are making me, and Tryst, feel very loved and recognized this week!! Thank you for following my work, my words, the pieces of my soul that make up the pieces of Tryst. With out my awesome Tryst family, Tryst just wouldn’t be the same!! As for my participation, due to the requirement of bloggers needing to have less than 300 followers, I need to do some reading in the blogoshpere. Like I said earlier, I don’t want to just pick names and hand out the award. I’d rather do some reading and discover some new, fantastic bloggers & writers, and then honor them with this award! I have already given the Liebster to 15 bloggers, who were fantastic, but for right now, there is no one I am ready to pass this on to. So, it goes in my ‘To-Do’ file as I read and discover more people in the ‘sphere!

*This is a ‘To be Continued’ Liebster Award!!*

But, I will answer Roberts questions: just for fun…

LIEBSTER BLOG QUESTIONS:

1. When you are driving do you prefer windows or A/C? It depends on where I’m going!

2. What brought you to WordPress? I saw a friend of mine on FB who started a blog, wrote 1 post, and never went back. But she brought me to WP and I am eternally grateful!!

3. Do you bless people after they sneeze? Yes. I say, ‘bless you’ ! Not ‘God bless you’ incase they have other beliefs.

4. Are you a morning person? Yes & no. Depends on the day!

5. What is a favorite movie of yours? The Last Samurai. I love the message of the movie. So fantastic!

6. Where would you live if you could pick any place? South Florida.

7. Do you believe in God and/or practice a certain religion? I have faith, yes.

8. What kind of grades did you make in school? I was a straight A student until I got to college. Then I made A’s & B’s.

9. What is one of your favorite songs? Soulshine by Gov’t Mule. Best song ever! (Originally an Alman Brother’s song. Gov’t Mule re-made it & it’s so good. I get goose bumps when I hear it!)

10. When I’m riding or driving in a car I lean more towards music than conversation. Are you more for music or conversation? Music. Loud music!

11. Do you believe in true love? Undeniably.

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This concludes part one of the Tryst Award Show. I am going to take a short, or long, intermission… which ever I feel I need the most… and then I will be back with Part 2 of the Tryst Awards. Thank you for all your attention and patience this far.. 🙂
 
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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication