Daily Reflection on Tryst (03/25/13)

Daily Reflection (03/25/13)



 It is one heck of a good Monday!! Oh yes!! It has been a minute since I’ve said that!! There is no fake in this day… well, there’s no fake in me ever… I am just having a super great Monday!!


You know how I’ve said before, that what you tell yourself about your mood, in your mind, becomes real? Like if you feel sadness, you are going to be sad. If you feed joy, you are going to be happy. It makes sense. Right? Whatever kind of mood you find yourself in, if you need to change it, give energy to the kind of day you want to be having! Simple wisdom. BIG difference in your day!! It’s all about the power of your mind baby!! What are you feeding yourself today?


Today, lets reflect a little on energy. Energy can be converted from one form to another, but it cannot be created or destroyed. (That’s an interesting fact, energy cannot be destroyed. So, when one dies, where do we go? We must go somewhere because we are energy and energy can’t be destroyed.. hum.. another time, another post)


Good energy can be contagious!! Bad energy, no one wants to be around. Well, unless you’re a miserable person, in which misery loves company, but no one loves the company of a miserable person. So, don’t be miserable Tryst peeps!! Reach inside and find your good, positive, happy vibes and get some good energy flowing into your day! I swear.. I’m walking proof that frowns can be turned upside down & you can wake up smiling to the thought of your day!! It is all in the power of your mind, what you are feeding yourself, and your thoughts, and the energy you have going on!!


I know that by the end of winter, those of us who live in a place that has a cold, snowy winter, we can easily become seasonally depressed, stricken with fatigue and just plain exhausted!! Use your motivation for the coming of the new season and all the things you want to get done, to help pull you out of this exhaustion!!


Word of the Day : Prexhausted – This is when you are exhausted just by thinking about something. Like the planning of a wedding, or finals coming up in college… (Thank you Urban Dictionary for the word of the day)


If you are working yourself into prexhaustion of any kind, squash it!! Channel good energy!! And if you need help, or a boost, or just some Soulshine, come find me!!


I hope you all have a great rest of your Monday!!


~ Jen


Tryst Thought : I am enough. (That’s it! Period! That is my thought to leave you with! There is a lot of power in that sentence! Try standing in the mirror and looking yourself in the eye, and saying those 3 words. Seriously… try it!! It’s very moving!)


©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication


Already Me

Already Me
With a strength
That surprises most
So I hold on
To my lonely beating
Soul, and listen as
The steps of the
Grow closer to me
To the air I own, yet
Nothing owns me…
I have grown comfortable
In my skin
I am feeling content
As the woman I am
In tune with the
Rhythms of my body
The cycles of the
Pages of the
Chapters of my life
That is me, I
Own the strength that
Surprises me so…
Much like the river
Dances & flows with
Earth and all its changing
Essence, I too can dance
Like the best of them
Whimsical mysteries of
Spirits becoming
Women, in this thing
We call life
I tell my story
Piece by piece…
As the moments unfold
And time goes by
I realize that all I’ve ever searched for
Was right here, was me, it was always I…
Words can be thrown at me
To damage and to bruise
Using these tools to move forward
I refuse
To look in the back
My rear view of yesterday
Defeated me not
I stand to fight this very day
Pushing forward
On a quest to be
Everything I have been
All that is already me
~ J. Lefever ~
For strength.
For perseverance.
A feel good piece.
©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Evening Reflection on Trystღ (02/24/13)

Evening Reflection (02/24/13)


Slap Happy

Buenos Noches Tryst Familla!! It is bitter cold here!! Burr!! And just like that, in the blink of an eye, the weekend is over. Time goes by so fast, I mean, faster & faster everyday it seems!! I was out shopping for food yesterday afternoon and the cashier at the market looked at me and said, ‘Can you believe it is almost March!?’  I looked at her and shook my head. Seriously, where does the time go?

This really got me thinking… (Nah, me thinking? I know, I know, I’m always thinking… and stressing, for that matter… stressing more than thinking, so…) I guess I should say, this really got me stressing, stressing about my life!! I need to get some serious motivation here because time is slipping away, my life is getting further along every minute, and I’m not working hard enough on the things I have planned for myself. When I say this, it gets me depressed, and frustrated with myself, and to be honest, I’m in a really good mood tonight!! So, while I entertain these thoughts, I’ll push them to the side for now and think about realistic things. This means, not getting overwhelmed looking at the whole picture, but small steps that will get me to the place, and the things, I want for myself. Yep. Small steps, small goals… be realistic Jen…

Back to the slapping of the happiness. Have you ever heard the term ‘Slap happy?’ Well, it’s like when you are suddenly surged with this instantaneous burst of happy energy!! I got me some slap happy tonight!! It just came out of nowhere!! I got a boost of feel good and I’m smiling and my husband is looking at me like I did something bad!! (Ha-ha) Sometimes, when I drink wine, I get the slap happy, but that’s induced by the kind of buzz that is associated to wine. (Different kind of buzz compared to other kinds of alcohol, I think) Anyway, since I’m not sipping on a Chablis or Chardonnay right now, I conclude that I got a boost of natural slap happy!! And what’s so wrong with that? 🙂

Tonight, as the weekend ends, and I have thoughts swimming in my mind about the fast-moving pace of time, which is something we all have to live with, and something that none of us can stop, control or change, I;m slapped in the face with the reality that I’m not getting any younger. Obviously. And I have some serious unfinished business to attend to.

I saw a movie on TV earlier, something my husband was watching, about a crew who worked on a sail boat. Boats are a serious passion of mine. My grandpa was a Merchant Marine in WW2, and his love for boats was passed on to me. He had me at 2 years old, sitting on his lap, while he drove his boat around the big lake. I have loved boats ever since then. Well, I’ve sailed on the ocean, and this movie was another reminder of just how much I desire living on the ocean… and yes, having a beautiful boat!!

When you know what you want, you know what you need to do to get it. The way I see it is, I’m lucky to know what I want in my life. That’s half the battle right there!! There are people still trying to figure that out, trying to find what their heart desires. Well, I’m grateful to know my desires. I need to work harder on my motivation and doing what I need to get there. Indeed Jen…

Tonight I reflect on these things:

1. Slap happiness can come from other things, not just alcoholic beverages.

2. Time is slipping away, so get on it!

3. Knowing your hearts desires is half the battle.

4. Motivation is the only thing that will get me moving towards those desires!

5. Get on it! I’m not getting anywhere sitting on my ass talking about it…

I hope this slap of happiness doesn’t keep me up all night…

Have a great night Tryst Family!! ~ Jen


©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Losing All My Focus – A free Write


Losing all my focus…   (A Free write) (01/30/13)

 How do I get back to ME.. the ME that I’m so desperately trying to become.. I feel like I’m completely off-balance!

 Things have been hard this past week. I have really been feeling the hole in my heart, the place where my little brother, who was 6’6” and not little at all but always made me feel safe and protected, used to be. I hate to even type those words and have to stare at them on the screen because that makes them just that much more real. I miss him… it hurts so bad… these words do this feeling I’m suffering from absolutely no justice. None.

 Pain is certainly immeasurable. You just can’t measure a persons pain. My mom thinks she is suffering the worst, then my dad thinks that he had the most pain, and then there is me, who cries all the time for her kid brother, partner in life who is gone, and I think that my pain is the greatest, I think I have lost and am suffering the most. The truth is, we all are. It’s all painful for all of us.. and it’s making us all a little crazy. All i our own little ways, but we……. are helpless……. we can’t……. bring our Dave back……. This is killing me.

 I don’t write this tidbit for sadness and sympathy. Of course, any support is so greatly appreciated, but I do not play the ‘victim’, poor me, feel sorry for me. I hate that shit! In truth, I don’t want the attention… I want my brother back! I want this hole to feel normal again, so I can find my balance! I am so off-balance! I work a full-time job, I write on Tryst, and read a little.. but this week, I’m really struggling with where I am going. I look in the mirror and, question the eyes looking back at me. Of course, I describe my emotions well in my poetic pieces, but life can’t be all poetry! I need to get up and go somewhere…

 That’s just it!

I am searching for some inspiration and motivation and I’m not finding it here. Why? And how do I know this? I know because I have not just lived in one city my whole life. Nope. I have lived in two other places one East & one West. I think I need a relocation… soon… I wonder how Jake will take this when I bring up the subject matter over dinner this evening..? He may say, ‘Again with this Jen.. Whatever you’re searching for is right inside of you. It has nothing to do with your surroundings!’ …

 Something for me to really think about today…

 ~ J. Lefever