Time After Time

Time

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I have often been puzzled over the apparent acceleration of time as I get older.  Why does time seem to go by so much faster now than when I was younger?  I conclude this to be a personal matter of perception, a phenomenon provoked by my growing awareness of my own mortality, the fact that I’ve crossed over into my 30′s and it may be more challenging to think of the glass half full as opposed to half empty… but I continue to remain quite positive.

Personal perception or the reality of time itself, I have always harbored a certain resentment towards time.  I do look back with regret over many things, over time that I’ve wasted, or all things I should have done, said, went to, not said and not done.  As I move forward, I strive to make the most of the rest of my life.  My life, my path, my karma, my choices, all monumental and moving in their own ways, have shaped and remarkably changed me, and I refuse to be one of those that says, “I wish I would have…”  But some days, I’m still rendered unsatisfied with where I am in life, all the while knowing that I’m on my way, I can’t get it all in one short day, there is a whole process to getting from point A to point B.  I sometimes go to bed at night and nag at myself for the things I didn’t get done that day, reminding myself that the process takes time, and I still have tomorrow.  But how many tomorrow’s I have, there is no guarantee there, but that’s a whole other conversation in itself.

In my past experiences, it’s all the in-between that seems to be the most memorable.  All the things that happened from A to B, and in those memories, the time I remember I not only cherish, but I share, I logically pick apart, I pass on, I write about, I analyze, and I recognize as valuable to my life and to the pieces of me that make up my spirit..

Time.  Everyone knows that time can be quick and slow.  Sharp and quiet, long and short, true and false, and all of these at once.  Everyone knows that time is not a fixed commodity.  Time is not mechanical, uniform, steadfast, or absolute.  Time, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.  There is no universal clock ticking off the seconds by which we all grow.  Everyone knows that time is relative, slippery, illogical, and unchangeable.  The time in each day is a predictably proportioned sequence of morning, noon, and night, and just like the day before, we can expect the same today and tomorrow.

Time.  We have means of measurement that have themselves been often altered to be the most precise and accurate, evidence of our attempts to nail down time and gain a sense that we are one step ahead… But no matter how persistent (or consistent) we are in measuring time, it still eludes us.  Time itself is something else again, not a thing at all but a force like the wind, undeniable but invisible, and yet evidence of it is apparent everywhere, for better or worse, it’s effects are all around us.

***

I have written about time before and found in the process, then and now, that most of what I think I know about time seems to change, depending on the time of my life that I’ve chosen to analyze my thoughts on this popular paradoxical subject of mine.  But how many ways can we reference time?  Time passes, time flies, time flows.  Time, we have been told, is a gift.  Time is an avenger, a devourer, a destroyer, a disordered thing.  Time, we hope, heals all wounds.  We talk about spending time, serving time, doing time.  We talk about buying time, borrowing time, stealing time.  At one time or another, we have all had time on our hands, time to squander, time to kill.  More often we say we are pressed for time: like a shirt, like grapes for wine, like a flower in a book, like a hand against a heart.  Time, we say, has run out on us: like milk, luck, or an unfaithful significant other.  So much time, we complain, is lost: like sunglasses, car keys, or our souls…

Time, I once thought, has always been a monkey on our backs.  Time, like gravity, is irrefutable.  Time, I once read, is just God’s way of keeping everything happening at once.  We teach our kids to tell time: like a fortune, a lie, or a story.  The truth is you cannot tell a story without it.  Time is the medium of history and change.  Without time, history does not exist.  Neither does a story of any kind.  In a story, one thing happens after another…and then and then and then.  Time is the natural propellant of narrative, and one of the luxuries of story is being able to move around in time in ways you never can in real life.

The truth is, you cannot even write one single sentence without it.  Past. Present. Future. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. Beginning. Middle. End. Sooner or later. Then and now… It was once said that time is the longest distance between two places.  One of those places is then, the other is now.  Is it an accident that the word, then, refers to both the past and the future?  While the word, now, is just an attempt to isolate the present moment?

As much as I think of time, I find it hard to imagine the end of time.  I can’t imagine the end of time with my family and loved ones, or their end of time on Earth.  And even as it is impossible for me to imagine the end of time, the end of the world, still I also believe that time itself will continue, even if all else ends.  I am predisposed to eternity.  I find infinity easier to believe in then some future moment when time itself will stop.  Truthfully, the more I think about time, the less I understand it, the less I grasp any sense of it.  I do know for certain that I have lived through time, my time, extraordinary time, and ordinary time.  I have wasted time, served time, done time, had productive time. I have had precious time, memorable time, remarkable time, incredible time. I have had too much time and not enough.  I have waited for time to go by and wished that it would just stop dead in its tracks.  I have had time to laugh and time to cry.  I have thought of time as my enemy and also as my friend.  I have been in time, on time, and beyond it… Just as I have always been, I am, and I will be.

~ Jen Lefever

*****

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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
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Ghost Emotion

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Ghost Emotion
In the grey and white world
Are the shadows of ghosts
Ghosts of our emotions, left
To haunt the space between
Here and there
They haunt the vessels on the sea
Buildings and sidewalks of the cities
Trapped inside the paint on canvases
And enclosed in the lyrics of
Music and poetry
Our spirits are meant to feel things
It is in the way we are built
Once we feel, things pass along
With the ever-changing world
Not one moment mimics another
Time sets us free
From things that are regular and standard
Emotions are not tiny
They are bursts of energy
Fueled by the temples of our souls
Inside we are personal
Shedding shadows of emotion
Everywhere we go
I am haunted
By the things that I feel
Extraordinary pieces of time
I have been given
These ghost emotions are mine
As I move forward in time
My life, as unique as any other
Falling off my back
As I walk on for the soul of my brother
Bricks build houses
A poem is written in words
There are colors to paint the sky above
All of this shows my entire devotion
Inside my black and white world
I leave shadows of my ghost emotion
~J. Lefever~
(04/21/13)
*****
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 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 

Daily Reflection on Tryst (04/10/13)

Daily Reflection (04/10/13)

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Time Management.

 

Rain is falling on Wednesday… Rain falls hard from the sky today. I don’t know what it is about the rain, but it always makes me feel in touch with my artistic expressions. It makes me want to write all day, allowing my heart to speak, and my soul to spill out all of its words!! Instead, I have had a million errands to run today, with no umbrella, so needles to say… I am a little damp!! …I don’t mind…

 

My dreams were interrupted last night by the loud booming of thunder in the sky. As my eyes popped open, and I lay there, gathering my current state of mind, and other random dreaming thoughts, I decided to roll out of bed and go to the kitchen and make peanut butter & honey in a tortilla, which is so yummmm…

 

Rain was pattering my kitchen window hard and quiet strikes of lightning would flash across the sky, followed by the rumble of the thunder as I stood in my kitchen… thinking of things…

 

Sometimes, our thoughts visit us and they do us no good. Have you ever talked yourself into something that is much less than you thought? Have you ever made things a bigger deal in your head?

 

Don’t believe everything you think!!

 

In the past few weeks, I have had a lot going on… to say the least. It can be hard to maintain a balance in your life, when you are being pulled in so many directions. When you have to be so many places, there just isn’t enough time. Or when you need to do one thing in order to do another, yet, your time is pulling you away from it with another arising problem or obligation… I mean, phew!! I feel like a juggling act at the circus!! Like, lets see how much shit we can pile on top of Jen before she collapses!!

 

I also try to make time to eat, rest, read, and write (which has been seldom lately due to my ever so busy life) and to do something fun! It is important to make time for fun & laughter!! Laughter is the very best medicine, and very good for the soul!!

 

So, am I managing my time well? No. Not really. I could do better. I’m behind on my writing, on my reading, and my e-mails are piling up. I am working a full-time job on top of balancing my volunteer work and I am facing a murder trial next month for the person who killed my brother. (As if that isn’t enough stress… there is more…)

 

I know that we can’t get the answers to all these perplexing life boggles… but we can always reach out, for help or just to talk, and if you are like me, a proud proud person… it is OK to need a helping hand!! ((I sometimes fall because of my refusal to ask for help… I feel, too much pride to ask for such a thing and quite frankly, I don’t like the attention)) But this truth is foolish!! In reality, we are human. I am human. I am not perfect. I cannot get everything done all at once. And if I need a little help just to breathe or balance myself out, that is perfectly normal.

 

For the few things I left out of my BIG TO-DO LIST up there… it’s because they are a bit more private. But regardless, this woman has a lot going on in her busy life!! I am trying to make myself aware that I need to manage my time better, in order to get all my obligations done and goals met.

 

I hope the day finds you well!!

 

Where ever you are, open your eyes and look for something that is remarkable that you may not have noticed before…Trust me, there are things to see that you have not noticed before!! No moment is ordinary… find the remarkable…

 

♥Jen

 

Tryst Thought : Remember… Don’t believe everything you think!! Sometimes our minds can poison us a little… believe it or not!!

 

 
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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication
 
 

Time.

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I have often been puzzled over the apparent acceleration of time as I get older.  Why does time seem to go by so much faster now than when I was younger?  I conclude this to be a personal matter of perception, a phenomenon provoked by my growing awareness of my own mortality, the fact that I’ve crossed over into my 30’s and it may be more challenging to think of the glass half full as opposed to half empty… but I continue to remain quite positive.

Personal perception or the reality of time itself, I have always harbored a certain resentment towards time.  I do look back with regret over many things, over time that I’ve wasted, or all things I should have done, said, went to, not said and not done.  As I move forward, I strive to make the most of the rest of my life.  My life, my path, my karma, my choices, all monumental and moving in their own ways, have shaped and remarkably changed me, and I refuse to be one of those that says, “I wish I would have…”  But some days, I’m still rendered unsatisfied with where I am in life, all the while knowing that I’m on my way, I can’t get it all in one short day, there is a whole process to getting from point A to point B.  I sometimes go to bed at night and nag at myself for the things I didn’t get done that day, reminding myself that the process takes time, and I still have tomorrow.  But how many tomorrow’s I have, there is no guarantee there, but that’s a whole other conversation in itself. 

In my past experiences, it’s all the in-between that seems to be the most memorable.  All the things that happened from A to B, and in those memories, the time I remember I not only cherish, but I share, I logically pick apart, I pass on, I write about, I analyze, and I recognize as valuable to my life and to the pieces of me that make up my spirit..

Time.  Everyone knows that time can be quick and slow.  Sharp and quiet, long and short, true and false, and all of these at once.  Everyone knows that time is not a fixed commodity.  Time is not mechanical, uniform, steadfast, or absolute.  Time, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.  There is no universal clock ticking off the seconds by which we all grow.  Everyone knows that time is relative, slippery, illogical, and unchangeable.  The time in each day is a predictably proportioned sequence of morning, noon, and night, and just like the day before, we can expect the same today and tomorrow. 

Time.  We have means of measurement that have themselves been often altered to be the most precise and accurate, evidence of our attempts to nail down time and gain a sense that we are one step ahead… But no matter how persistent (or consistent) we are in measuring time, it still eludes us.  Time itself is something else again, not a thing at all but a force like the wind, undeniable but invisible, and yet evidence of it is apparent everywhere, for better or worse, it’s effects are all around us.
image

I have written about time before and found in the process, then and now, that most of what I think I know about time seems to change, depending on the time of my life that I’ve chosen to analyze my thoughts on this popular paradoxical subject of mine.  But how many ways can we reference time?  Time passes, time flies, time flows.  Time, we have been told, is a gift.  Time is an avenger, a devourer, a destroyer, a disordered thing.  Time, we hope, heals all wounds.  We talk about spending time, serving time, doing time.  We talk about buying time, borrowing time, stealing time.  At one time or another, we have all had time on our hands, time to squander, time to kill.  More often we say we are pressed for time: like a shirt, like grapes for wine, like a flower in a book, like a hand against a heart.  Time, we say, has run out on us: like milk, luck, or an unfaithful significant other.  So much time, we complain, is lost: like sunglasses, car keys, or our souls…

Time, I once thought, has always been a monkey on our backs.  Time, like gravity, is irrefutable.  Time, I once read, is just God’s way of keeping everything happening at once.  We teach our kids to tell time: like a fortune, a lie, or a story.  The truth is you cannot tell a story without it.  Time is the medium of history and change.  Without time, history does not exist.  Neither does a story of any kind.  In a story, one thing happens after another…and then and then and then.  Time is the natural propellant of narrative, and one of the luxuries of story is being able to move around in time in ways you never can in real life. 

The truth is, you cannot even write one single sentence without it.  Past. Present. Future. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. Beginning. Middle. End. Sooner or later. Then and now… It was once said that time is the longest distance between two places.  One of those places is then, the other is now.  Is it an accident that the word, then, refers to both the past and the future?  While the word, now, is just an attempt to isolate the present moment?

As much as I think of time, I find it hard to imagine the end of time.  I can’t imagine the end of time with my family and loved ones, or their end of time on Earth.  And even as it is impossible for me to imagine the end of time, the end of the world, still I also believe that time itself will continue, even if all else ends.  I am predisposed to eternity.  I find infinity easier to believe in then some future moment when time itself will stop.  Truthfully, the more I think about time, the less I understand it, the less I grasp any sense of it.  I do know for certain that I have lived through time, my time, extraordinary time, and ordinary time.  I have wasted time, served time, done time, had productive time. I have had precious time, memorable time, remarkable time, incredible time. I have had too much time and not enough.  I have waited for time to go by and wished that it would just stop dead in its tracks.  I have had time to laugh and time to cry.  I have thought of time as my enemy and also as my friend.  I have been in time, on time, and beyond it… Just as I have always been, I am, and I will be.

~ Jen Lefever Wood

To see a wonderful piece written by a talented & beautiful dear friend of mine, also on the mention of time, click HERE. It is a Poetic Duet written by Hastywords and Stacy Self called ‘Left Sinking’. Enjoy!