Black & Blue

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Black & Blue

The game we play

Goes back and forth

Of two people who

Make verbal stabs like daggers

Intent is only

To pierce the other

To make them bleed

To hurt, nothing else

Who have we become

We were never this way before

Once you loved me

And it was you that I adored

But now the days are different

We are black and blue today

Black when we hurt the other

Blue when we cry and bruise

This game is cruel and ugly

Its intent is to stab, burn and use

-J. Lefever

(12/11/13)

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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

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Seasonal Affective Douchebag ~ Tryst News

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Seasonal Affective Douchebag
Also known as ‘S.A.D.’  ~ Tryst News
 
Who is SAD this winter? …or every winter about this time?
 
Is anyone just sad right now? I’m talkin just gloomy, grumpy, maybe even pissed off that we gotta get up, and continue to go about our lives, while living in a place that literally dies every year? Take a look outside. The winter in the Midwest is a sad time of the year, no pun intended. The sky is rarely blue. It’s bitter fucking cold. The dead trees match the cold, grey sky, giving this flat land a vast view of what death must look and feel like. I hate this time of the year. And, I’m telling you, I’m an up-beat kind of woman, but even the winter here is enough blah, grey, deadness to get even my spark of a spirit down. Yeah man, I’m SAD alright… and it sucks really bad!!!
 
This time of year brings on a condition that has its controversy… is seasonal depression really real? Or is it something that we have created, to be able to identify with, or to give an excuse for, the wave of sad feelings and non-motivation that comes down and kicks us in the ass, every year about this time. Seasonal depression, is it not?
 
While ‘S.A.D.’ is known for ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’, a condition that hipsters created to explain why they are grumpy. Works, doesn’t it? It’s the perfect acronym for this feeling. Well done hipsters!!
 
Some call it ‘S.A.D.’, some say it’s just a ‘Winter Depression.’ My favorite is ‘Seasonal Affective Douchebag,’ thank you Urban Dictionary, which states that this is a time when those who suffer from this particular problem, become nasty in the winter and for no other reason, other than it’s the dead time of the year.
 
You may hear another say they suffer from ‘Seasonal Dread,’ symptoms include feelings of hopelessness, personal lament, or melancholy that are directly related to long durations of unfavorable weather patterns or temperature. I heard that!
 
I have not researched this enough to give it the proper credentials to call it a legitimate problem or disorder. I don’t feel I need to. Why? Because I get this shit every year!! So it must be real, right?!! This year has been especially bad, and like in chronic stages the last couple of weeks! Here we are, in March, and there is more snow on the ground than Missouri has seen in the last three years combined. (That is a total guess, but I need something dramatic to go with my rant) Anyway, I understand that even in March, the idea of actual, real-spring time is still at least a month away. We won’t see regular sunshine and spring time warmness until the end of April, but shit, doesn’t that sound so far away? I don’t know if I can take this much longer without going postal or flying the coop!! I’m about to lose it!!
 
Incase you are still wondering about my diagnosis, here are some other symptoms of this shitty, ‘Seasonal Dread’ crap:
 
Feeling listlessness and board after being stuck inside a house throughout a Missouri winter with nothing to do except play Jenga by yourself. BORING!!
 
Hatred of mother nature for the unfortunate tundra region you live in. INDEED!!
 
Having moments where you want to give up, fall to your knees and cry… moments when you think that if you have to get up and look at one more dead, grey day… you just can’t predict what may happen.
 
While these are all symptoms of this seasonal shit we as Midwestern Missourians have to deal with every year, it gets even worse. We don’t even have fun winter stuff to do!! So it makes it that much harder to get through these winters!! No mountains to ski or snowboard, no rock climbing.. it’s so cold and dead that you basically hide from the outside… I think I’ve made my point.
 
I can’t imagine anyone wanting to live here in the Midwest during the winter. All I can say is, hang on… we are almost there.
 
Sadly I have no solution, other than re-location… which I’m not just considering, I WILL be doing here shortly… I can’t handle it another year!!
Someday soon, I will be sitting on a warm beach writing Tryst news… unfortunately, not soon enough!!
 
J. Lefever ~ Tryst News (03/02/13)
 
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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication