Many Nights, Oh How I Wish …

Many Nights, Oh How I Wish …
A Poem on Tryst
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The day that comes
When I can look into the eyes
Of my very own creation
Holding their tiny hand of life
I will remember the days
Before that very moment
The forever wishing
And Praying of words
That I would be given
A tiny part of me
Deep inside of me
There has always been
This strong urge to be
A giver of life
Waiting for the day
To have a family of my own
Oh how I dream and desire
Wishing upon many of stars
Many things
I know I will say
Lessons to teach
And reasons to give
Follow your dreams
Don’t sacrifice your heart
Give love everyday
Most of all to yourself
Be kind to the world
To all its living things
Treat others the same
Be accountable and don’t blame
Learn from falling
Be strong and get right back up
It’s ok to cry
But don’t forget to smile and laugh
So I bequeath to you
The wisdom’s that I know
So that you
Never fall into the puddles
That I tragically did
If this day ever comes
If I’m ever given this gift
If the universe finds me fit
To show another my way
And love them when they find theirs …
Oh how I wish
For another part of me
And of him, of course
I am tired of being selfish
I am ready to do for another
I am done with the nonsense
Of all the little things that just don’t matter
Oh how I wish
For another part of me
And of him, of course …
~J. Lefever~
10/24/13
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Daily Reflection on Tryst – Letting Go of Yesterday

Daily Reflection on Tryst

October 22, 2013

Letting Go of Yesterday …

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Today my thought is simple. I want to remind myself and others while I’m at it, that there is no point in fussing over the past. The past is over and there is nothing you can do about it. How much time have you wasted into fussing over this and that about your yesterday?

Of course I am mainly pointing this advice towards myself today … I have a current situation that has me … quite pissed actually, pissed about some things that happened about a year ago. About a year ago!?!?! How stupid is this then? There is nothing I can do to change these events, there is no amount of time I can spend trying to explain them, or justify them, or rationalize them in any way. The time has passed. The events took place. And I have since moved on from all of it.

These events have consequences though. Those consequences are what I am currently dealing with and thus explain my pissy, fussy, bitter attitude and my sense of regret.

I am reminded on a daily basis right now about my foolishness a year ago … the fact that I listened to my heart instead of my head a year ago … the fact that I majorly sacrificed my safely and well-being for the sake of another a year ago … the face that my life and my parent’s life will be highly affected if this ends badly because of this other person and my inability to remove myself from the situation a year ago … I a reminded on a daily basis that it get me nowhere, ever, loving another person MORE than I love myself!!! If I love another more than I love me, look how much shit I have to deal with … only because I made some serious sacrifices, and excuses for this person.

I am the fool who loved someone else more than I loved my own self and as a result … I am paying for it greatly right now.

But this is still all a pointless waste of my time! And everyone else’s whom I might bother with the banter and conversation about this shit. So, what can I do?

I can think about what I CAN do for my future and to move on with the best outcome and the best results for this situation and these events. Nope, I sure as hell can’t change the past but I can make a difference on what happens today and tomorrow.

So that is what I am doing. Stop with the bullshit fuss about what I wish I would have or have not done a year ago and get on with the best course of action to make my present and my future more pleasant … and make this past situation, end peacefully.

Phew … glad I got that off my chest!! I needed to vent a little!!! Of course, this matter is personal and so I am vague about the what-have-you’s … but that’s my business. I only wanted to reflect here on the pointlessness of fussing over things that have already happened. Put energy into today and tomorrow and you’ll be much better off!!!

Oh, and NEVER love someone else MORE than you love yourself. Period. Ever. Never do that. Because no one will ever love you or have your back as much as you do. People are NOT selfless like that. I learn the hard way when I act selfless towards someone (Someone in particular) That ‘sacrifice’ , whether they say it or not, would most likely never be returned. People are too selfish to put you before them. It makes me sad to think about this reality because it is honestly not how I am. I never feel good when I am acting selfish, so it is hard for me to wrap my head around this ‘loving yourself more’ but it is a powerful truth and wisdom.

I think I need to find a good balance between the two … being selfless still towards others, but still loving myself enough, if not a little more … plenty, or just right! 🙂

I hope you have a great day Tryst Family!! XO – Jen

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ღDaily Reflection on Trystღ (04/25/13)

Daily Reflection (04/25/13)

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So Damn Disappointed!!

 

 “If you don’t like something, change it.
If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”

Mary Englebreit

 

There are so many things going on in my life right now. I am trying to balance everything, stay afloat, stay productive, and remain positive and healthy. These are all good things that we all need to maintain good/healthy lives. Well, things don’t always go as planned, or as expected. When we interact with other’s, or put expectations on others, whether or not those people follow through, can leave us satisfied, or diappointed.

That is why I preach and preach that it is so super important to always have your own back!! You can always count on yourself… yet… even we let ourselves down sometimes, right?

The feeling of being disappointed is not a good one. Depending on the situation, it can make us sad, frustrated, mad, or absolutely berserk or irate!! Last night, I felt some disappointment that make me berserk and irate!! And as I was sitting there, feeling all of these emotions that came in a terrential emotional mini-drama, sadness, rage, utterly hurt… I had to let myself feel these things and work my way through this shitty situation in a positive way with out causing more drama or havoc by making things worse by being just completely out of control.

So I did some thinking.

First, I let myself feel the disappointment. It’s ok to feel this. I checked in and acknowledged what I was feeling. It’s ok to feel this way. Just don’t dwell on it!! I told myself to go ahead and feel whatever I was feeling, but not get stuck on it… and then move on.

Then I focused on the big picture of the situation. Looking into the details of my ‘Shitty let down’. Perspective in really important… but this is where I tuned into some gratitude. What did I have, as opposed to the things I felt I missed? This is that positive thinking that can be tough at times, but no matter how let down you are, you need to remember that you still have things to be grateful for, and recognizing them will help pull your mind out of that dark place.

Next, I asked myself if there was anything I could change about the situation. Well, in most cases, when the damage is done, it is irreverseable… but there are still things you can do to move on, right? In my case, I couldn’t change what had happened. It was too late. It was already in the past. And we all know that we can’t change the past, we can’t go back there… so move the hell on!! I don’t live in the past. I live in the present. Is there anything I can do to prevent this from being a future disappointment, yes! There is.. now I am getting somewhere!!

Change the way you see things!! Like the quote above. It’s easy to wallow in self pity… but who wants to do that? I hate being in that place! No good comes of it! If you want to handle your disappointment in a positive way, change the way you think about it. Re-frame your mind on the whole situation… and figure out things you can do instead.

Hope. Believe that there is hope. Have some hope!! When facing disappointments, it’s so easy to be beaten down, to believe that situations are hopeless, and to give up the belief that things will eventually work out. No matter what you do, don’t let your let down bring you completely down. Keep reminding yourself to have hope and know that, despite the fresh pain of a new disappointment, you always have the ability to hope for good things coming your way in the future. Believe in yourself. Believe in hope.

I hope you all have a super great day Tryst Family!!

And remember, No matter you’re facing, no matter how hard it is, don’t forget that you are not alone.

Tryst Thought: Every day people face disappointments of all kinds — from a tiny missed opportunity to a life-altering letdown — and every day people overcome these difficulties and move forward with their lives. Initially it might seem difficult, but handling disappointments well is an essential part of living a positive life. If you want to live positively in the present moment, you must let go of life’s letdowns and focus on the good things in your life. Easy? Not always. Essential? Absolutely.

XoXo Jen

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