Summer Time & The Livin’s Easy … ~ Tryst Insider


~ The First Day of Summer ~



Summer Time & The Livin’s Easy …


It is official ~ June 21st is the first calender day of summer!!! Summer has always been my favorite of seasons!! While I also enjoy spring and fall, I have always known summer to be my absolute favorite!!! The whole world is alive … the trees are brilliant shades of green … flowers are in bloom and popping with bright, beautiful colors everywhere … swimming pools are cool and full of smiling people … neighborhoods are decorated with people walking their puppies, or strolling their kids down the sidewalks … we go on ice cream runs at night after the sun has gone down, when the air is still thick with heat and humidity … popsicles become a weekly necessity on my grocery list … I find any excuse to leave the city & go to my lake house, or be emerged in a large, cold body of water … I talk about the day I will be moving to the beach every five minutes … I find myself writing in my journals outside, either in my parents back yard where I grew up by the waterfalls, or in my special place of inspiration, in the park on the bank of the flowing river … my weeping willow tree is full and beautiful and my apple tree is busy growing me apples … I get to wear my hippy dresses everyday, and other summer clothes like tank tops & flip-flops, which brings me much joy as I hate dressing for the winter months … the farmers market is full of fruit, fresh summer vegetables and other kinds of blooming produce and flowers … the city sidewalks are full of cafe’ dinners who have stopped to quench parched lips with iced tea’s and micro-brews of KC, while enjoying delish tapas’ and other small plate yummies … oh, and of course, one of my fav spots is always busy serving up the cities best red & white sangria’s … the Plaza is busy with the summer shoppers and people catching late-night Independent Films at the Theatre … summer concerts and music festivals are the place to be, you will find me at the Crossroads jammin’ to jam bands and eating the best pizza in the city … summer is the best time to go to events that are put together to raise awareness for good causes and raise money for good organizations, like for children and animals … of course since I live in KC, summer is the season to hit the Blues District and eat out famous BBQ, then again, it’s always a good time for our awesome KC BBQ … evenings in the city with old friends, outside under the stars, in any of our local bars, pubs, or hot spots is fun to kick back and remember the ‘days’ way back when … and of course, those weekends when we all escape the hot city streets and take off to go relax in the hammock on the huge deck of my waterfront lake house, with a dock full of boats and water toys, and the fun & amenities of Osage Beach just minutes away … yes, my lake house is the perfect 2 hour get-a-way, in lieu of hopping on a plane, although I hop a plane when ever I can!! … These are a few of my favorite things about this wonderful, hot summer season!!! These are the things that I will be doing, trying to enjoy KC as much as I can while I am here … as the days become fewer and fewer, as the time Jake & I are ready to move becomes closer to reality …

I hope everyone has a wonderful summer!!!



XOXO ~ Jen


 ‘Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.’ Marsha Norman


 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Hitting Me Harder ~ Tryst Update

Hitting Me Harder ~ Tryst Update




I have become quite the introvert.

I thought that I had become stronger. I thought maybe it was also a numbing effect. I thought that in the last three hundred and sixty-five days, I would have a better understanding of what life is like after my brother’s death. I thought that I’d find myself, a year later, grown, better, stronger, wiser, balanced, somewhat peaceful, among some other things … and unfortunately, here I find myself, still as confused as ever.


What do I really know anyway?

I have NO answers to the paradoxical questions that I mentally beat myself up with daily. I am still walking the same streets, working the same job, writing the same things, (my ongoing written projects that seem to frustrate me more than anything because I write pages and pages, then I go back to edit and think they sound completely stupid, so I delete and start over, back to where I was … oh the frustration!!), I am shooting pictures that seem to have no inspiration, portfolio on standstill, and I am getting distracted with little mindless tasks, in hopes to find something to spark my motivation, creativity, and something that will finally feel like I am truly inspired to act upon…


I am still searching…

Yes. Things are hitting me harder now then they were last year. I can speak for my parents as well on this matter. We all thought that we would be more put back together by this point. We were all wrong.

It just goes to show that no matter how old you are, how much life experience you have, or think you have, life still comes at you and you cannot always predict the end or outcome. We don’t always know where we will be and when we will be there.

These are the questions that drive me crazy!

I wish I could just shut my mind off, tune out completely … but that has NEVER worked for my active mind! I am always thinking … about everything … even stuff that really is pointless, I still give it enough credit to be a little important for me to entertain in my mind. (I have never been the kind of person to ignore anyone or anything … um, except myself … how ridiculous is that? … well, anyway …) So I think what it would feel like if I could shut my mind off and be still, not worry about anything, sit in complete silence … just, be

(Trying to do that now … just, be….

Hum… OK. So, I may need some more practice. I have meditated before, not regularly, but I do know how to meditate … for 30 minutes, maximum. Anything more than that is when I start to fidget and my mind pops up everywhere, wondering, and then all things are screwed up!! But, at least I can sit for a 30 minute meditation, better than nothing right?

It is our own minds that talk us out of most things anyway.

That is the truth!! If you didn’t hear that piece of immaculate wisdom above, read it again … Truth baby!! Our minds are so powerful and have such a strong influence over us, we often times don’t realize that WE are the center of our energy, thus creating most of our success, failure, joy, pain, happiness, etc… Yes, it is us!!

Today, I am going to pull myself out of introversion. I don’t really like it there anyway … it’s not me

I am still hopeful.

I am still searching.

I am still fighting to know, to be free, to know serenity, to give & receive love, to find purpose, to make a difference, to have a voice, to hold someone’s hand, to accomplish a goal, to connect with my brother in new ways, to understand it’s ok to NOT understand, and I am still fighting for internal love & kindness…

XO ~ Jen



 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication















Jenny News ~ Tryst Update

Jenny News


How Long Have I Been Gone...? ~ Tryst Update

I have had a very active schedule these past few weeks. I have had some things going on that are very awesome and exciting, and I have had the stress of some very tough/painful things going on as well.

The one year date of my brother’s death is tomorrow. This ‘first’ year without him has been very tough. As many of you know, those who have followed me loyally and read the things I write, I have had about a million up’s and down’s these last 12 months. (I actually haven’t been blogging for 12 months yet, so my Tryst family has only been linked into my life for the last 9 months, but still, 9 months is plenty of time to get to know me, as I am as real in my writing as any deep, emotional poet should be…)

The stages of grief have taken me through sadness, anger, resentment, depression, isolation and some emotional mini-drama’s … but I have survived none-the-less and here I stand, telling the world my stories.

I have some things coming up … I have been asked to get involved in programs like D.A.R.E, here in KC, where I will get the opportunity to talk to kids at schools and other youth groups about substance abuse, being a victim to acts of violence and the death of my brother. I am honored and excited to be a voice to these kids and tell them my stories and the things I have been through. If I only help one person, just one person, then it will be completely fulfilling to me. I hope to make the impression and teach the wisdom that life does not discriminate, no matter who you are, or where you come from … life happens to all of us. Life can be very hard at times, but there is always, there IS ALWAYS, light on the other side. You just need to never stop loving yourself, and you will be alright.

Other than that, I have been putting in 50 hour work weeks, at least, working like a dog!! And trust that I am tired like a dog!! Phew…

I have recently launched my photography business which is SUPER exciting for me!! I have purchased some new equipment and have been playing with my camera … I love my hobbies!! This is something I have been thinking about for a while now and finally decided to go for it!! I have studied photography in college and I’ve always loved it!! So, furthering my experience, I’ve been doing LOT’S of shooting, adding to my portfolio!! I know that great things have to start somewhere before they become great, so what better time than now? Plus, it’s good to keep busy with things I enjoy … it helps with the grief I feel in the absence of my brother.

I also became a part of a SUPER great nutritional business!! In college, I minored in Nutrition while getting my Culinary Degree, I thought the information would be a great credential for me to have alone with being a Chef, and it has proven to be just that!! I have come across some KICK ASS products and was offered the chance to be a part of this up & coming, fast growing business op … AND not only that, but I have used these products that I’m now sharing with the world and they are SO fantastic I can’t even believe it!!

I will probably post more about this with another post, more informative & what not … because this is just a Jen Update …

I have really missed my Tryst Family!! I have not been writing too much lately, and it has been three weeks since my last Daily Reflection. (I wrote a poem, yes, one lonely poem, in the last few weeks, but that has been all I have had time for    😦 <-sad face  Launching and writing of my web-sites has had me quite occupied!!

So how is my Tryst Family? I have a mail box Jam Packed FULL with all of your wonderful posts, in which I will dedicate a long Saturday to do some reading!! I always enjoy reading the wonderful talent of all of you as well, so rest assure, my inbox will stay full until I get to do some reading!!

Yesterday it was raining here, terenchal downpour!! But today, the air is clear and the sky is blue and it is just simply beautiful … not only that, but even though I am extremely tired, worn slick, beat down in every which way … I am still standing here, with a smile, a sleepy smile, but yes, life has me smiling …

I am grateful for many things today …

Enjoy your day Tryst!!

XO ~ Jen



 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

In A Nut-Shell ~ Tryst Update


In A Nut Shell ~ Tryst Update


Last weekend I posted a tweet that kinda made me laugh… I tweeted that I need to start writing things down! As in, making lists.. of things I want to do, need to do, have going on, and ideas that POP up in my head through out the course of the day. This made me laugh after I hit ‘tweet’ because, well, I am a writer!! I write ALL the freakin time!! How is it that I am forgetting things… ? What’s up with that?


In a nut-shell, I have been extremely busy. This has been a very good thing for my emotions and grieving (the loss of my brother), but it has been frustrating in other areas of my life.


In a nut-shell, I am NOT managing my time well! I have ongoing projects, things on the back burner, new things coming forward and millions of thoughts floating around in my head…


In a nut-shell, I really wish there were more minutes in the day… but then again, I’m glad there is not!! If I crammed any thing else into my already busy life, right now, I might lose it and go postal!!


… I am way behind in writing here, my Tryst Land has been seriously neglected!! I mean, I haven’t been doing even my Daily Reflections, and those I LOVE, because they really help to center my thoughts and feelings… I write them in hopes to help others, or maybe inspire, or heal, but they are really helpful to me and so when I don’t ‘reflect’ I feel like I’m ‘neglecting’ my spirit…


…I am behind in my book project and my manuscript… I have a poetry contest that I’ve been preparing for and have three hundred poems of mind to choose from, and have gotten NOWHERE in actually choosing!!


…My friendships, which mean the world to me, and most of which, my really good friends who don’t even live in KC, I have been meaning to pick up the phone and here I am… still needing to make my friendly ‘Jen-calls’ to my peeps… I miss my people!!


In a nut-shell, I am freakin busy!! I have a new business that just started and work on top of that… where am I going to find some more time? Better time management? Or even just some peace and freaking quiet? When will things be simple and calm?


Meanwhile, I have the one year date of my little brother’s death looming over my head… and words do those feeling absolutely ZERO justice…


This has been a Tryst Update. Brought to you by Jen, who is just a girl, trying to stay afloat, in a crazy, ever-changing world.






 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

I am not your Puppet ~ Tryst Update

I am not your puppet ~ Tryst Update
This evening is the end of a very long day. This evening wraps up a very long week. This week has been very very productive, I must say! I am sitting here, thinking about all that I got done this week, and I gotta pat myself on the back! Good job Jen! I was busy and organized and got all my responsibilities done! Good feeling to have, especially when you have a mountain of things in front of you… that I do… along with emotional roller-coasters, and psychological abuse from the fam… it is a lot to handle all at once!!
Sometimes there are personalities who are very strong. There are personalities who are very smart. The intelligent and the wise don’t always use their wisdom in the best of ways… sometimes, that wisdom is used to manipulate others. ((Note, a stupid person can’t really manipulate others… it takes a certain kind of mind, a certain level of intelligence to be able to do this)) ((Also note, most addicts do a lot of manipulating… addicts, contrast to popular stereo-type, can be very smart. So, we do have the knack, the ability, the mind power to manipulate others to get things, or to believe things, whatever))
I have done my share of this exercise. Manipulation. I am not proud of it. But because I have done it, because I have practiced it, because I have somewhat succeeded in it, because I have almost obtained a PhD in it… that means I can recognize when it is being done to me. Yep. I said it.
You know the saying, ‘You cannot bullshit a bullshitter’ ? It is common sense. You cannot fool a fool… you can’t manipulate a manipulator!! It just cannot be done!! Sure, you can try. Go on! Give it your best shot! But I guarantee that you will be caught, it won’t work, your little plan of trickery will not go through because you can’t pull one over on someone who knows how to do the very same thing.
I think I’ve made my point here…
What is my next point then…? It is obvious that I am going through some things… I mean, I have some ducks in a row… but they are not lined up in perfect unison, yet… I still have some hurdles and some work to do… but I still have a whole life in front of me. What about the ducks then? I have some good ducks and I have some ducks that may wander, or fall down, or go swimming in the pond when I didn’t say it was ok… ((HAHA, I have totally gotten off on this duck thing, but I have a point.. I promise))
What I’m trying to say, what I’ve said before, is that in life, nothing is ever fucking finished, perfect, happy ending… there is always going to be something you face, have to deal with, are working on, get forced into… whatever!! Some things are not your choice. Changes happen that you do not orchestrate. Those changes are fucking uncomfortable!! But, we have to deal with them.
Some of my ducks are crossed right now because I am not only grieving the loss of my brother, who was taken from my life last June, but since this tragedy took place, my family has just broken to pieces. As a result, I pretty much have been forgotten about. It’s almost as if Dave and I died at the same time. I could be invisible, and nothing would matter… this is a very painful reality for me right now.
I guess my evening ramblings here are to empty my mind of some things… Above, I say I’m not a puppet because I am the one who controls the things, the atmosphere, the people, and the activity in my life. I know that my family is hurting right now, with the loss of one of our four, but even though I am the sibling that is left, I am no one’s puppet. No one should be telling me what to do, or how to feel, or using manipulation to make me feel like my feelings are wrong. Not validating someone’s feelings is emotional abuse, and it is very painful, especially coming from a parent or a close loved one. The death of my brother is not an excuse I pull to write pieces or shed tears… it is the most painful thing I have ever felt inside of my heart. And sadly, what has come with it, is two parents who, don’t even know they are doing this but, ignore that I’m here, lash out, take their pain out on me, look at me like they are angry that I’m the one here… all kinds of shit that sucks… and then use manipulation to tell me that I am selfish for things, like when I get completely left out of important family events, things that are important enough for my mother to invite a friend… but not me, not her forgotten daughter… In their grief, they have abandon the one they have. Which I have been told by my therapist, is quite common. When a family, when two parents lose a child, sadly sometimes, they get so caught up in their sadness, they forget about the child that is still alive, or they over-compensate with someone else, like a daughter or son-in-law… never in a million did I think I would be in this place… never..
I needed this rant tonight. I need the distance from this place. It is not good for me here. I don’t belong in this city. I will go one day… Yes, one day soon, I will go…
For now, I am still holding on…
J. Lefever




 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Is The Juice Worth The Squeeze? ~Tryst Insider


Is The Juice Worth The Squeeze? ~ Tryst Insider

I rolled out of bed this morning to get ready for my day. After a quick, hot shower I got dressed and dried my hair. Mascara and a little bronzer is all I apply to my face, I have never worn make-up really, and I threw a clip in my hair and was out the door. Headed to the Argosy Casino for my Noni’s 86th birthday brunch & gambling with my family!

On the way there, driving, I was deep in thought. (I do a lot of deep thinking when I’m alone in my car. I find it is a good place to think. When I’m alone, with no other influences, no distractions to divert my natural intuition… )

When faced with the decisions we make in life, we don’t always know in the beginning of things, if the conclusion is going to be a good one. Happy endings are not always predictable. Unfortunately, we don’t always know if things are going to be good for us, if things are going to be worth it, and especially when dealing with people, we certainly don’t know how things will turn out. We go into most relationships with blinders on. Most times, we are blinded by the delusional happiness of our hearts, telling us, “This is going to be so wonderful!” And things like, “I am so happy right now, there is no way that this happiness is going to change!” Then, sadly, we are bitch-slapped with the cold-harsh realities of ugly human nature and the good-hearted people are left dumb-founded by the truth that we were mistakenly wrong about the person, or situation, and our strength Is then tested by the ways we deal with ‘saving’ ourselves and getting our emotional safety back and loving ourselves.

I remind myself that I love myself. In these current moments, I love myself more than anything. I gotta come first. And no matter what, I know my future looks great because I have some wonderful blessings in my life that I will take advantage of. I have virtues inside of my soul that I will use. I will move forward and be fine, no matter what anyone says, because I just know I will. When I think of the things that have yet to come for me, I can’t help but to know that I am one of the good ones. I am one of the survivors. I have never quit. I have never given up. I have never not learned and grown stronger from the hard situations in my life. And for ALL of the situations I found myself in, that I may have been lead to blinded by the big feelings I have in my heart, that did not end the way I had first imagined, to those people who came at me displaying all the ways in which they are broken inside, and the ones who were rotten, mean and cruel, maybe either pointing fingers, placing some blame, using for material things, whatever the situational crap may be… in the end, I ask myself…

Was the juice worth the squeeze?

And inside my beating heart & soul, I ALWAYS know the answer to that question!!

~ J. Lefever

Tryst Thought ~ No matter how this sounds, to anyone, I don’t care… I have love for many people in this world & in my life, but… I love me more. I must have my back, no matter what. No matter what.

Take care of you!! XoXo

(Ya feel me Angie?)

 ©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Tryst Award Show Pt 1 ~ Tryst News




Things have been busy lately. As the Author, Artistic Developer and Creator of Tryst, and all things Tryst, I too have had my hands full with this thing we call life. But no matter what is going on in my world, I always have time to escape to my other world, Tryst Land, and lyrically express myself, in which ever way suits me at the moment. I often get lost in Tryst Land for hours. I really like it here. I have created a place that I can come to when ever I want, and it doesn’t stress me out, people don’t piss me off here and I get to say whatever I want about anything!! So, yeah, I love Tryst Land and everything that comes along with it! No matter what goes on in my life, I will always make time for Tryst.


With that said, This week I have graciously been given 4 awards. Yes, 4 of them!! I humbly and honorably accept these awards with warmth and appreciation in my heart. I remember, at the beginning of Tryst, I never thought that I’d be one of those blog, worthy enough of such awards. I still have my doubts because there are such fantastic writers out there!! I have been blown away by the raw talent and pure inspiration there is out there in the Blogosphere!! I mean, what more can you ask for? This place is where all of the deeply poetic, comically hilarious, most wise and intelligent, fictionally creative, talented, so talented people come to show off their stuff!! There are some really great people to connect with here and communicate with about the things we share and have in common!! I very much appreciate this place, Tryst Land, and all of you!!




Since there are 4 things to accept here, rules to follow, and people to give back to… I am going to be more brief on some of the things. Also, If there are rules asking for, say 15 different bloggers to share with, and I honestly don’t have that many people who I think write to deserve an award, I’m not going to just hand them out to random people because that would defeat the purpose of the award and it would minimize the actual deserving purpose of it as well. And so, if I make up a few things on my way here, or bend the rules a little, it’s just my creative mind at work here!!


My mission here is: To show gratitude and appreciation to the friends who gave me the award. To introduce those that I think are deserving of the award. To acknowledge that Tryst has received these awards, and is very proud and honored to accept them!


Drum roll please))




This award quite appreciated!! If there is one thing that I hope to accomplish and achieve at Tryst, and that is to inspire!! I find that when I have moments of inspiration, I feel pretty good!! My creative juices are flowing and I have all this motivation to write, or create, whatever it is that I have been inspired to do!! Yes, inspiration feels good!! I am very honored to have been given this Award, and I must give BIG HUGS and HUGE THANK YOU to Robert Mudge!! Rob and I have crossed paths in life and we very quickly became people who communicate in the blog world, as well as other social media outlets. Rob is a great guy who has a lot of inspiration to give to others!! If you are unaware of his wonderfulness, cruise by his blog, Yelling Quietly, by following the link provided!! Thank you Rob for this wonderful award!



If you so choose to participate, here are the 5 rules to follow:

1) Link back to the person who nominated you.

2) Post the award image on your page.

3) Tell seven (7) random facts about yourself.

4) Answer a few random questions:

1. My drink of choice is: tea

2. I don’t want to: die with regrets.

3. I’ve never: water skied! But grew up on a lake and have done practically everything else on the water!!

4. I think: too much!! I think ALL the time!! My mind never stops!

5. I don’t: Like to be around arrogant people who think they know everything.

6. What I have a hard time with is: Finding the right balance between work and relaxing. It seems I go through spells where it’s 100% one or the other!

7. I want to know: Where a person goes when they die. (I want to know where my brother is and if he can hear me)

5) Nominate five (5) other blogs… or as many or as few as you have been truly inspired by!!


I have linked & posted the Award Badge so, here are 7 random facts about me:


1) I am 6′ tall. That’s a lot of inches!!

2) I love to sing. Anywhere! Karaoke, in the car, in the shower.. anywhere!!

3) I prefer driving a manual transmission as opposed to an automatic. I like to actually ‘drive’ the car!

4) I love to horseback ride. I used to compete when I was a kid.

6) I danced for 16 years. Ballet & tap mostly. Performed all over the country.

7) I have been in 3 movies as an extra. One of the films I was a ‘featured extra’.

I nominate these bloggers for inspiring me, oh so well!!


1) Alice at Wonderland An amazing read!! You must stop by & see for your self!

2) Literary Land of Alysia Her words are always heartfelt & real.

3) El Guapo He is funny, fun and fantastic! He inspires me to smile, laugh and lighten up!

I just want to say thank you again to Robert Mudge! I have truly enjoyed connecting with you!!




Also from Robert Mudge, I was given the Liebster Blog Award!


It is an award given to up and coming bloggers, which reputedly started in Germany. “Liebster” is German for “favorite”, so in a way this award is the “favorite blog award” as another blogger put it.  You receive this award from a fellow blogger that feels your blog is both worthy & important to them. If you receive this award, here are the steps to follow:

  1. Nominate anywhere from 3-11 blogs/bloggers (You can choose. 3-5 is most popular)
  2. The bloggers awarded must have less than 300 followers.
  3. Answer the 11 questions asked of you by your nominator
  4. Pose 11 questions for your nominees

Participation is completely voluntary and is not limited to any genre or writing for that matter. Basically, the blog can be about anything and simply has to be one that you feel is worthy and that you would like to give recognition to by passing it on.

With that said, I graciously accept this award. Thank you so much Rob!! You are making me, and Tryst, feel very loved and recognized this week!! Thank you for following my work, my words, the pieces of my soul that make up the pieces of Tryst. With out my awesome Tryst family, Tryst just wouldn’t be the same!! As for my participation, due to the requirement of bloggers needing to have less than 300 followers, I need to do some reading in the blogoshpere. Like I said earlier, I don’t want to just pick names and hand out the award. I’d rather do some reading and discover some new, fantastic bloggers & writers, and then honor them with this award! I have already given the Liebster to 15 bloggers, who were fantastic, but for right now, there is no one I am ready to pass this on to. So, it goes in my ‘To-Do’ file as I read and discover more people in the ‘sphere!

*This is a ‘To be Continued’ Liebster Award!!*

But, I will answer Roberts questions: just for fun…


1. When you are driving do you prefer windows or A/C? It depends on where I’m going!

2. What brought you to WordPress? I saw a friend of mine on FB who started a blog, wrote 1 post, and never went back. But she brought me to WP and I am eternally grateful!!

3. Do you bless people after they sneeze? Yes. I say, ‘bless you’ ! Not ‘God bless you’ incase they have other beliefs.

4. Are you a morning person? Yes & no. Depends on the day!

5. What is a favorite movie of yours? The Last Samurai. I love the message of the movie. So fantastic!

6. Where would you live if you could pick any place? South Florida.

7. Do you believe in God and/or practice a certain religion? I have faith, yes.

8. What kind of grades did you make in school? I was a straight A student until I got to college. Then I made A’s & B’s.

9. What is one of your favorite songs? Soulshine by Gov’t Mule. Best song ever! (Originally an Alman Brother’s song. Gov’t Mule re-made it & it’s so good. I get goose bumps when I hear it!)

10. When I’m riding or driving in a car I lean more towards music than conversation. Are you more for music or conversation? Music. Loud music!

11. Do you believe in true love? Undeniably.


This concludes part one of the Tryst Award Show. I am going to take a short, or long, intermission… which ever I feel I need the most… and then I will be back with Part 2 of the Tryst Awards. Thank you for all your attention and patience this far.. 🙂
©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Cleaning Sidewalks ~ A Tryst Update


Cleaning Sidewalks ~ A Tryst Update

Shoveling the Sidewalks of Life

Today I’ve been thinking about the coming of spring. I’m trying to get my house tidy & clean, organized & comfortable. I’ve got a new pool table in my basement/rec room & some new furniture pieces I’ve picked out for my home office & living room. With all this cleaning up & tidying & new freshness … I’m also thinking of cleaning up my soul.

I peaked out the front windows of my house this morning and saw my driveway & sidewalks being shoveled. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to get out & do it!!  Oh, I have many things in my life to be grateful for. In that thought, I thought about what’s inside my heart..  inside my soul…

I think that in life, we need to clean up our souls from time to time. We clean up other things in our lives, right? Well, think about how dirty our souls get, with all the stuff we deal with everyday, day after day… I can’t speak for others, obviously, but I can speak for me. And my life is a constant, on going lesson, in which I’m dealing with people, and my inner self. Think about how dirty we get, in our minds & hearts, after being let down, disappointed, lied to, tricked or anything else that happens in life. We built painful memories and resentments.. this list goes on.

I need to clean up my heart. My soul. My mind.

In thinking about ‘making over my soul’ … I need to brainstorm some ideas of ways that I can move past the past -> and into my tomorrow with a clean, fresh spirit!


See me up there? Freaking out about yet another massive blizzard we got this weekend!

I am not allowing my mind & soul to go pessimistic on me. I can’t live that way. Nope! Regardless of how sick, and I mean sick & tired, of the snow I am… what can I do, with my time, that is productive, and will help move me forward… towards the life that I want? Towards the things I want to accomplish in life?

And then, it happened! I got my spark of… whatever… and made a good move this weekend!! ((More on this to come..))


~ Jen



©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Seasonal Affective Douchebag ~ Tryst News

Seasonal Affective Douchebag
Also known as ‘S.A.D.’  ~ Tryst News
Who is SAD this winter? …or every winter about this time?
Is anyone just sad right now? I’m talkin just gloomy, grumpy, maybe even pissed off that we gotta get up, and continue to go about our lives, while living in a place that literally dies every year? Take a look outside. The winter in the Midwest is a sad time of the year, no pun intended. The sky is rarely blue. It’s bitter fucking cold. The dead trees match the cold, grey sky, giving this flat land a vast view of what death must look and feel like. I hate this time of the year. And, I’m telling you, I’m an up-beat kind of woman, but even the winter here is enough blah, grey, deadness to get even my spark of a spirit down. Yeah man, I’m SAD alright… and it sucks really bad!!!
This time of year brings on a condition that has its controversy… is seasonal depression really real? Or is it something that we have created, to be able to identify with, or to give an excuse for, the wave of sad feelings and non-motivation that comes down and kicks us in the ass, every year about this time. Seasonal depression, is it not?
While ‘S.A.D.’ is known for ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’, a condition that hipsters created to explain why they are grumpy. Works, doesn’t it? It’s the perfect acronym for this feeling. Well done hipsters!!
Some call it ‘S.A.D.’, some say it’s just a ‘Winter Depression.’ My favorite is ‘Seasonal Affective Douchebag,’ thank you Urban Dictionary, which states that this is a time when those who suffer from this particular problem, become nasty in the winter and for no other reason, other than it’s the dead time of the year.
You may hear another say they suffer from ‘Seasonal Dread,’ symptoms include feelings of hopelessness, personal lament, or melancholy that are directly related to long durations of unfavorable weather patterns or temperature. I heard that!
I have not researched this enough to give it the proper credentials to call it a legitimate problem or disorder. I don’t feel I need to. Why? Because I get this shit every year!! So it must be real, right?!! This year has been especially bad, and like in chronic stages the last couple of weeks! Here we are, in March, and there is more snow on the ground than Missouri has seen in the last three years combined. (That is a total guess, but I need something dramatic to go with my rant) Anyway, I understand that even in March, the idea of actual, real-spring time is still at least a month away. We won’t see regular sunshine and spring time warmness until the end of April, but shit, doesn’t that sound so far away? I don’t know if I can take this much longer without going postal or flying the coop!! I’m about to lose it!!
Incase you are still wondering about my diagnosis, here are some other symptoms of this shitty, ‘Seasonal Dread’ crap:
Feeling listlessness and board after being stuck inside a house throughout a Missouri winter with nothing to do except play Jenga by yourself. BORING!!
Hatred of mother nature for the unfortunate tundra region you live in. INDEED!!
Having moments where you want to give up, fall to your knees and cry… moments when you think that if you have to get up and look at one more dead, grey day… you just can’t predict what may happen.
While these are all symptoms of this seasonal shit we as Midwestern Missourians have to deal with every year, it gets even worse. We don’t even have fun winter stuff to do!! So it makes it that much harder to get through these winters!! No mountains to ski or snowboard, no rock climbing.. it’s so cold and dead that you basically hide from the outside… I think I’ve made my point.
I can’t imagine anyone wanting to live here in the Midwest during the winter. All I can say is, hang on… we are almost there.
Sadly I have no solution, other than re-location… which I’m not just considering, I WILL be doing here shortly… I can’t handle it another year!!
Someday soon, I will be sitting on a warm beach writing Tryst news… unfortunately, not soon enough!!
J. Lefever ~ Tryst News (03/02/13)
©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Shine Bright ~ Shine On Shinning

Shine Bright Like A Diamond ~

Shine On Blogging Award


It is always so wonderful when you put your heart & soul into your work & things that you are passionate about, and a moment arrives when you are recognized by another heart & soul for just being you. When I first started Tryst, I was a virgin blogger. I was so brand new to this world when I met WordPress, but as soon as I started working with it, building Tryst into my own place to escape and be me, be free, and share my spirit with the world, needless to say, it was love at first post!!

Since then, Tryst has grown a little bit everyday, as have I. I have been writing for as long as I can remember and I cannot picture my life without this freedom, this emotional outlet, without my ability to share my life, my dreams, my wisdom’s, my poetry, my spirit, heart and soul with all of you. Tryst is so much a part of me and my heart now, it has made my spirit feel complete.

Tryst would not be the same without all of you, my Tryst friends, my Tryst family, the Tryst community that is Tryst!! Tryst is me, Tryst is all of you!! I have a deep appreciation, a kindred love and a shared connection with each one of you!!

Life takes us down many roads. We go up, we go down. We go through so many different phases in our lives, and for my path, the road that I have been on most recent, has been more challenging than other moments, other roads, in my life. I want to thank TwinDaddy, with the up-most sincerity, for not only connecting with me, becoming a part of my Tryst Family, for sharing moments and words of kindness, humor and support for all the things I have written about and shared, for the Tryst Fiction, Tryst Journals, Tryst Stories and all things Tryst which make up the pieces of my soul.

TwinDaddy is the author of his fantastically funny, smart, wise and creative StuphBlog. He is a writer that I look up to, admire and strive to improve through my writing experiences with him in my life, as a part of Tryst. You must cruise over to see his excellent work, his timeless Stuph, on StuphBlog, if you haven’t already!!

In the grand tradition of Blog Awards, there comes a set of award rules. They are as follows:

1. Link back to the blogger who nominated you

2. Nominate fifteen bloggers who shine a little light in your day and be sure to notify them.

3. Share some facts about yourself or answer the questions given to you.

I have linked back to the wonderful and amazing TwinDaddy above, but I too, just like you TwinDaddy, like to surpass the linking expectations, so I’ll link you up again here… for anyone who missed you above and is too lazy to scroll back!!

Now it’s my turn to nominate my 15 blogger’s who have shinned some light on me, or shinned some light on Tryst, or who have shinned some light in any kind of wonderful way!! Congratulations to these 15 people for whom I now give this Shinning Award to:

1. Hastywords

2. A Shade Of Pen

3. Edward Hotspur

4. Shackled & Crowned

5. Whimsy Mimsy

6. Alex on FROM THE DARK

7. Written Words Never Die

8. Lady or Not… Here I Come

9. Luggage Lady

10. Deana on MY THOUGHTS

11. Memoirs Of A Dragon

12. Literary Land Of Alysia

13. The Reclining Gentleman

14. Lacie Jay

15. Cliterary Review

There are a few bloggers listed above who have shinned more light on me than some of the others. Sometimes you just connect in closer ways with others, or others take more of their time to get to know you. For those bloggers, I hope you know who you are, thank you for the awesome friendships we are building!! You have a place in my heart…

Also, these are not listed in any kind of order. It’s just my list of 15… Someone had to be first, someone had to be last… It’s just the way it happened. These are all fantastic blogs and great writers who ALL deserve this recognition!!

Now, it’s the fun part where I share some facts about myself or answer the questions that TwinDaddy sent to me. I will go with the questions because I feel like I already share a lot, a lot you know if you read Tryst you will learn many things about me!! Here goes…

1. Who is your favorite comedian, and why? Well, I have a few favorites and in different genres but the one that makes me laugh the hardest is Chris Rock. Why, because he makes me laugh so hard I fall out of my seat!!

OMG. I should have read through these first.. I didn’t and now I’m regretting it a little… (thanks TD!!)

2. This question is something about holding a fart but it turns into a shart.. what do I do? Well, proof read any questionnaires before committing to them. As for this, situation, if this actually happened to me, which it never ever would, I’d run really fast in utter embarrassment to the nearest, where ever, to fix my problem or get home. Yep. Moving on… 🙂

3. Did you watch the Academy Awards? Why, why not? I watch them every year. This year, I did not. I was lost in Tryst world, writing my little soul away and my husband, who could careless about Hollywood was watching a movie. I did watch the Red Carpet pre show to see all the fashion though. I love that part!!!

4. If I could have any person, alive or dead, guest post on my blog, who would it be? I have two answers for this one. I have one person who is long dead that I’d love to guest post on Tryst and that is Edgar Allen Poe. I also would absolutely love for Chelsea Handler guest post, she is my other choice, because she is hilarious, (another fav comedian), and her books are down right the funniest books ever!! I love me some Chelsea!! So, yea, Poe & Handler are my ideal guest choices.

5. I’m standing here, minding my own business, when suddenly I feel my pants fall down to my ankles!! I’ve been de-pantsed!! What do I do to get the person back? Well, I’d start my pulling up my pants, hoping I had my cute, lacie undies on that day, so I could turn around and run as fast as I can to chase this de-pantsing pervert down!! I would catch up to him because I’m 6′ feel tall and a fast runner! When I got him/her down on the ground I’d give him a wedgie, a wet willy, and probably some other slightly painful, rather annoying, and publically embarrassing things to him/her!!

For my 15 winners of this Shinny, Shine On Award, feel free to share facts about yourself or answer these 5 questions above from TwinDaddy, or you can answer these 5 questions from me, from Tryst:

1. If you were in a band, what instrument would you play?

2. Tell about one time when you were embarrassed in public, short version.

3. What inspires you the most? A movie, a book, a friend, a hero?

4. On that note, name one of your hero’s and tell us why you admire them.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world, where?

Is there anything else? Have I forgotten anything…. Hummm, I don’t think so. Oh, well just one more note:

In accepting this ‘Shine On’ Award, I just want to thank you all again. I wouldn’t be Tryst without you!! From the deepest place in my heart, writing is such a part of me, and sharing my passion of writing and self-expression is literally a shinning light in my life, so this particular award seems quite fitting!! Thank you again, all of you, and especially TwinDaddy!!