HIDE

There is so much

Hidden inside of the silence…

Do we ever take the time

To get out of our own way…

I never look both ways before I

Cross the street…

My Non-Conformity

Is no surprise to anyone, anymore…

There is so much

Hidden inside of a smile…

Sadness or pain

Admiration or desire…

Admittingly, it is so

That even I know…

Just how much, even I

Consistently, without fail…

Constantly stand, in my

Own way…

It seems, as if

I have been…

Inside of my own way

For an uncomfortable amount

Of time, So I

Am now stuck…

Inside of all that

Emotion…

Attached to the space

That is so enormously given…

To the understanding of

All that, and so much, indeed…

Hiding, living, loving, lying, suffering, devouring or dying

Inside…

Inside of the silence…

Inside of a smile…

Inside a place that feels safe

Where we all go

To hide…

***

J. LeFever

Tryst Publication 2.0

I Have Thought…

“I cannot explain it”, she said…

“Well, not everyone can do it… Not nearly everyone…” He continued, “I mean, its been over four years, since you’ve done it, and you just pick up your pen, and it spills out… All falling into place, as if you never, ever, stopped.”

He pauses for a moment to attempt to better understand, what it is exactly, that even he, himself, is defining for her at this very moment…

He continues…

“It has rhythm. It makes sense. Its pretty… Mostly… And sad too… But that’s how anyone who takes the time to absorb it, each word you seem to carelessly select, yet each word seems to fit, so perfectly, it often leaves your readers speechless… Intimidated to even try to speak upon what you’ve written… Because… Its good… Its real… I can feel it.”

He finishes his thought as he shyly looks over towards her…

She is sitting cross-legged by the window, tying a few strands of her hair into knots… Over and over again…

He cant help but to notice, as he can feel her present emotion so thick… Almost suffocating him as he shifts, sitting with the discomfort of her very real and undeniably raw sense of feeling, hanging in the room, like heavy drapes on big glass windows built on the front side of an enormous estate… The kind you drive by as a child, riding in the back seat of your parents car as a child… Thinking it must be like a museum inside… Intimidating in thoughts of being homelike… And not too comfortable either… But you still have wild, childlike fantasies of what it must be like… To be a part of a family that lives in one of those enormous, fancy and unrealistic estates that are actually considered a real ‘home’ to some people…

She was real…

And she was raw…

Always so open, like a book or a magazine…

He often wished he could communicate his life like she could… So open… So real… Captivating others like he has seen her do… More than a time or two…

“I cant explain it… I just pick up my pen and I let everything else go… I brush all the dirt from my mind… The tragic loss and deep pain too… I let go… And I just write… Its as if my soul is speaking… Yes, my soul, it is as if it’s dancing across the paper with words as its partner… Except its my prose that renders itself across the paper… And I don’t even know what I’m writing at the moment of first transcription… I truly don’t” she trails off, rather shyly…

He enjoys her shy smile as usual… Chosing not to interrupt her, as he most often does… hoping for a glance of her when shes feeling overly open and exposed… vulnerability is sweet on her and he likes it… more every time he witnesses it…

“Why now?” He asks, anticipating her response… Not having a clue what her answer could be… She is spectacular at presenting that moment revealing her element of surprise…

“Why now, after four, long, and may I say, four unbelievable years it has been for you… Since you wrote last… So, why, now… What is the significance of this time, right here, right now”, he asks her…

She is deep within her thought process… Deep in her deep mind… He can visibly see her soul at work… Pulling the perfect verbal response…

And after a few moments, she looks up to him and says, “Four years?”

“What is this ‘four years’ you keep pressing me about!?” She continues…

“Yes, I do believe, that I am ready, to speak on some things that my soul has been pushing for quite some time now…”

She pauses…

And she breathes deep…

Then with curious and lost eyes, she looks at him and says;

“But who are you? How do you speak to know so much on me! We’ve only just met!……”

***

I have some things to write about. And after all this, in due time, it is now… That I, finally come back up for air… To write about these things that I, have seen with my own eyes… Felt with my own hands… Heard with my own ears and tasted in everything that followed them…

I have thought.

It is time to speak.

…to be continued…

***

J.LeFever

Tryst Publication

2020

Atmosphere

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With the wind

Whirling all around

I am reminded

How small I am

Just a tiny spec

On the surface of this world

Wondering around

Aimlessly

Searching for the same thing

As everyone else…

Breathing the atmosphere

The same air we all breathe

And with each tiny breath

I feel alive

Today, In a world

Where everything matters

Yet, nothing is as important

As

Being loved and happy

As we all walk around

Aimlessly

Like tiny specs

On the Surface

Of this world

***

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Tryst. 2016

Because, I am

image

I woke up smiling today.
I do that most days…
It has been a long (last 3 years) …
But here I am… because of these amazing things —>
°°°
Because I am strong
I wake up smiling
Because I don’t give up
I am alive to tell my stories
Because I am resilient
I am able to still be kind to everyone
Because I persevere
I am able to continue to work hard
Because I am kind
I am able to practice empathy
Because I am self sufficient
I am able to be generous
Because I am understanding
I am able to understand others
Because I am humble
I am able to avoid ignorance
Because I am selfless
I am able to put others first
Because I am brave, I am able to keep fighting… And because I love myself, I am able to take care of ME… and because I am able to take care of me, I am able to be a fierce & strong mother to my son!

°°°
Life has taught me many lessons, and here I am to tell my stories! We All Fall Down, but what defines our character How We rise above!

☆Tryst☆

The Silence of the Night

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In the Silence of the night… I see that storms don’t last forever ~
●●●

The Silence of the night
Has me feeling free
Thinking of yesterday
And all the chaos you created
I wondered each & everyday
What parts I played in it all
Yet, once I removed you
The silence came…
The peace
The quiet
The stillness of happiness
The darkness was washed away
With the rain…
Suddenly you were gone
And all my suffering went with you
In the silence of the night
I saw my life
Alone
And it is beautiful
Anyone looking in…
Can see plain as day
The chaos was always you
And I get to walk away with my head held high
As I
Was just your excuse
So what is it now…
Because now we are apart
And my sky is full of light
And the darkness left with you
In the silence of the night
Im smiling in the quiet
Spaces I call home
And storms don’t last forever
I am happy alone

☆Tryst☆

She Said…

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She Said…

She was leaving

She said it was time

She said she’d had enough

She said she had been blind

It was all in her hopes

And dreams, you see

That keep her going on

But the day finally came

Where she packed up and moved on…

She said she couldn’t believe

She said it was such a nightmare

She said reality felt so harsh

She said she didn’t belong anywhere…

She stopped doing the things she loved

She completely lost her self & way

She prayed for the sun to rise

She told herself she would be OK…

It was the toughest of times,

Yet, no one really knew

She lied for him, as she was told

And she lied to herself too…

She had been down the broken road

She said, Oh, So many times

She knew what it looked like

So, she could avoid it if it chose to arise…

But the blurriness of love

And all it’s taunting tricks…

Lead her down that broken road

Filled with heavy rocks and sharp sticks…

She said she knew better

That this could not happen again

She said she was a fool

She stood up to look within…

She Said…

She was leaving

She said it was time

She said she’d had enough

She wasn’t going to rewind.

***

JL.

Think.Speak.Tryst.

Black & Blue

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Black & Blue

The game we play

Goes back and forth

Of two people who

Make verbal stabs like daggers

Intent is only

To pierce the other

To make them bleed

To hurt, nothing else

Who have we become

We were never this way before

Once you loved me

And it was you that I adored

But now the days are different

We are black and blue today

Black when we hurt the other

Blue when we cry and bruise

This game is cruel and ugly

Its intent is to stab, burn and use

-J. Lefever

(12/11/13)

***

©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

Hollow

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Hollow

An empty space

Lingers in its silence

A dark corner haunts

Places I try to avoid

People’s faces

Are blank and cold

Everything I knew

Has left my reality

Leaving behind

My hollow soul

-J. Lefever

(12/11/13)

***

©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

The Blue Sky Above Me …

The Blue Sky Above Me …
Covered With My Thoughts
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I think about the sky
Enormous above me
I was it’s tiny spectacle
Looking up, in wonder
Like a child
Wondering how it is so big
And blue
As it covers me
Each day, through & through
I think about the clouds
That decorate my sky
Perfect and white and fluffy
Changing colors as the sun falls away
At the end of each day
Kissing the day goodbye
Leaving me
Wondering why
I think about the air
How the wind hugs my shoulders
It wraps itself around me
Reminding me
That I’m not alone
I am surrounded
By the elements
Of the world
I have known
I think about the summer
My favorite of all the seasons
When the heat of the day
Lasts all through the night
And I know that the stars
Shine bright after light
And I’m never cold
Even when I’m alone
Cause the summer is hot
When my soul is not
I smile at these thoughts
But then my smile fades away
When I think of the cold
The dead, grey winter months
That are headed my way
Cold to the bone
Chilling when I’m alone
Cause I’m alone all the time
In a city that’s not mine
A tear falls for the summer
It’s end came so quickly
I miss the hot days already
It will be months before I’m warm again
Hiding away, in the winter again
Counting the days of grey in the sky
Waiting for the world
To come back to life
~J. Lefever~
11/04/13
***
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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication

As We Own The Night

A Poetic Duet

Written by HastyWords & Think. Speak. Tryst

On Life, Friendship, Soul Connection & the Road Ahead …

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As We Own The Night

 

I can call you a mirror

When I look into your eyes

My spirits guide and savior

Wipe the tears from my eyes

 

Beautiful you…

You always were

As our friendship exploded

Standing beside her

 

I can call you my earthly sister

As our hearts met and entwined

My eternal beautiful girlfriend

Who comforts me with her lines

 

Gorgeous you…

You always were

As our friendship shattered

The sadness before

 

As so many moons

Have passed in our skies

Knowing forever that

We will never hide

 

Delicate you…

I am watching you glow

As strong as ever

We have always known

 

Even the shining sun

Doesn’t completely reveal you

Your inner being colorful

Like a rainbow of sparkling dew

 

Wondrous you…

I bask in your spirit

Always feeling you

Ignoring our limits

 

The tides of the ocean

Greet our toes in the sand

Where ever my spirit

My heart holds your hand

 

Incredible you…

Bright, shinning light

Smile at the world

As we own the night

 

Written by HastyWords & Tryst

October 2013

Visit HastyWords by Following THIS LINK to become a part of her beauty & brilliance

XO

 

 

*****

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©Think. Speak. Tryst. Publication